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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that mortgage is huge commitment?

20 replies

AlwaysSpoiled34 · 28/07/2015 16:37

I am paying the mortgage for apartment that I bought in 2007. I am SAHM, husband has a good job. Our son has a moderate autism, despite lots of therapy sessions(twice a week) he is still non verbal. It looks like he will always need my financial support. AIBU to put my son first in every decision making process?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 28/07/2015 16:39

I'm sorry I don't understand your post at all.

ghostyslovesheep · 28/07/2015 16:42

no idea - sorry OP x

AlwaysSpoiled34 · 28/07/2015 16:44

You need money to help your son with disability. What happens to grown ups with autism? They need lots of support, I can always sell apartment and organize various activities for him.

OP posts:
UrethraFranklin1 · 28/07/2015 16:45

How does your title question relate at all to your post?

RedDaisyRed · 28/07/2015 16:45

One of the best things you can do for him is provide a secure home and pay off the mortgagage as soon as you can. I don't think moving into a rented place would be the best thing for the child.

ghostyslovesheep · 28/07/2015 16:46

that's great Confused I'm glad you can do that

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/07/2015 16:46

eh?

MaxieMouse · 28/07/2015 16:47

Sorry, I still don't get it. If you sell the apartment you still have to pay rent. Do you mean you've got a flat you are renting out?

songbird · 28/07/2015 16:47

Not sure what you're really asking OP, sorry Confused

TheRealAmyLee · 28/07/2015 16:49

Sorry I've no idea what your question is or how it relates to the title.

NerrSnerr · 28/07/2015 16:50

Are you considering selling your home and then renting? If that's the case I wouldn't. Your son needs stable accommodation.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 28/07/2015 16:51

Re the title of your post - YANBU. It's a huge commitment. Obviously. Regarding the rest, I'm lost. Are you saying you think that you & your DH aren't on the same page when it comes to financial priorities?

fourtothedozen · 28/07/2015 17:03

I'm not sure a mortgage is a huge commitment. If everything goes tits up then you can always sell the house and go back to renting. Then you would be in no worse a situation.

youbethemummylion · 28/07/2015 17:06

fourtothedozen except if the apartment is worth less now than when it was bought.

firesidechat · 28/07/2015 17:35

Is it a second home?

Of course you can sell it if it's yours to sell.

Does husband not agree?

firesidechat · 28/07/2015 17:36

You're very lucky to have this option, but I'm sure you know that.

Spartans · 28/07/2015 17:43

Is this a second home? You are talking about that you bought before you got married?

It needs o be a joint decision. Unless the flat is worth a lot of money, it will run eventually. Maybe your dh thinks it should be saved to support your son when he is an adult, if it looks like he will always live with you. Maybe he is worried that it will be a struggle when you are both older?

As for your title mortgages are a huge commitment

muddymary · 28/07/2015 17:50

I used to work in the mortgage department of a bank and I remember being told on my first day of training that it's harder to get out of a mortgage than a marriage - so I think yanbu it is a big commitment!

Fairylea · 28/07/2015 17:54

Of course it's a huge commitment but it's an investment isn't it, and you can always sell if you need to. I don't really understand your point - most parents put their children first regardless of whether they rent or own! :)

My son is 3 and has severe autism and we have a mortgage. We manage through a combination of dla, carers allowance, tax credits and dhs meagre salary. You just do whatever you need to.

TheCatsMother99 · 28/07/2015 18:04

Did your message get cut off half way through? I don't understand what you're asking here?

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