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To think it's cruel not to give a toddler any toys?

57 replies

CeCeBloomer · 28/07/2015 15:20

My SIL nannies for an 18 month old who isn't allowed any toys, parents believe over stimulation causes attention problems. Is this a thing? I had never heard of it. Just seems pretty cruel to me, I can't imagine not playing with my dc with their toys. I also thought playing and toys helped their development?

OP posts:

Pardonwhat · 28/07/2015 15:23

Is this real? What!?


CeCeBloomer · 28/07/2015 15:24

Yes it's real - was talking to my brother about it at the weekend as he was saying how the little one goes nuts around other kids as he doesn't get chance often Sad

OP posts:

CeCeBloomer · 28/07/2015 15:25

And doesn't have any toys

OP posts:

SrAssumpta · 28/07/2015 15:26

Seems a bit odd alright. In saying that my DD has no interest in toys whatsoever, she loves imaginary games and playing shop keepers, dinosaurs, floor lava type games so toys aren't essential at all.

Doesn't stop me producing them at birthdays and Christmas though for them to be cast aside Angry


NowSissyThatWalk · 28/07/2015 15:26

Bloody hell, YANBU. Kind of tantamount to indirect neglect if you ask me.
Is he allowed to play imaginary games or anything??


bumbleymummy · 28/07/2015 15:27

What does he do when he's at home? Are they doing things with him? Is he allowed books/colouring in etc?


ErrolTheDragon · 28/07/2015 15:28

Weird... there's a huge gulf between 'over stimulation' (if that's even a real thing) and no toys.

What does she do with the child?


MewlingQuim · 28/07/2015 15:29

Seems odd, but some people have weird ideas.

The child will just make their own toys, though. DD is currently shooting me with a stick despite having plenty of toys Hmm

Actually, looking at the piles of lego and other plastic shite spread around my house I'm thinking raising DD with no toys might be a good idea Grin


CeCeBloomer · 28/07/2015 15:31

I think she plays with him, just no toys/TV (Obvs). My toddler is really happy entertaining herself with toys, too young for imaginary games I think at 18 months?

OP posts:

Pardonwhat · 28/07/2015 15:31

Sounds more like the poor boys being raised as a social experiment than as a much loved child.
Odd and I'd actually say it's very cruel as well.


Gottagetmoving · 28/07/2015 15:33

Its odd but so long as the child has access to other things to play with or the parents play with the child then I can't see it is harmful.
There are millions of children in the world who have no toy and to be honest children here probably have far too many.
It is good to encourage their imagination.


Goldmandra · 28/07/2015 15:35

Is it an extreme Montessori type approach where he is encouraged to use real items to perform real tasks?


DocHollywood · 28/07/2015 15:35

There was an MNer who had a basket of natural toys that we all copied. Cones, wooden spoons, shells, all sorts of tactile, exploratory items. Can't remember what was in mine. No child 'needs' brightly coloured plastic toys although I'd be a bit surprised if there was actually none. And does this mean no teddy to cuddle?


PumpkinPie2013 · 28/07/2015 15:36

I think it's odd and quite sad for the child Sad My DS is 20 months now and we have lots of fun playing with his mega blocks and cars etc. I can't imagine not having toys available for him to play with.

All that said - his favourite game at the moment is emptying out the tupperware so he can play with that!


BrianButterfield · 28/07/2015 15:37

You can have imagination and toys though, my 19mo loves building with megablocks (she makes 'ice lollies'), looking after her baby doll including giving it drinks and changing its nappies, she also loves pretending to be a cat for some reason. But even pretending games are better with a few props and the right toys can open up a game hugely. E.g. A toy pushchair is lighter and easier to handle than a real pushchair, obviously, and very enjoyable for a small child to push around.


stargirl1701 · 28/07/2015 15:40

YABU. The child will still play as most humans children have throughout time. Toys, as we know them, are pretty recent invention in the scale of human history. I have found 'real' stuff more engaging with my 2. Babies love pots, pans and wooden spoons. My 2 year old loves her plastic spray bottle and sponge for 'cleaning'. Pinterest is full of ideas for fine motor development without toys.

He does need books though!


53rdAndBird · 28/07/2015 15:40

It does seem odd, but as long as he has plenty of other things to play with around the house then it's not like he's missing out? Mine is that age and will play with the laundry, the recycling, the newspaper, the remote control, and generally whatever's around. House is still a sea of brightly-coloured plastic crap though


NowSissyThatWalk · 28/07/2015 15:44

Do you know if he has books or is read to, OP?


stargirl1701 · 28/07/2015 15:45


stargirl1701 · 28/07/2015 15:50


howabout · 28/07/2015 15:52

I was thinking Montessori too.

My DD1 had very few toys at this age as we were between homes for the first 2 years of her life. This did not mean she had nothing to play with. Front room is now covered in cars, lego and dinosaurs belonging to DD3.

I often see parents use toys as a substitute for interacting with DC and that concerns me more.


ollieplimsoles · 28/07/2015 15:54

Sounds like they are attempting Montessori style parenting.

Montessori kids ARE allowed toys but you just have to set them out in a way they can access them themselves and don't put to many out at a time as this can over stimulate them.


ollieplimsoles · 28/07/2015 15:54

sorry bit of a X post with howabout!


ErrolTheDragon · 28/07/2015 15:54

Through the ages, children who haven't had toys have made them - wooden spoon 'dollies' etc. Of course there's lots of 'real' things a child can play with, but some of them aren't really such a good idea - remote controls for instance contain easily-removed batteries.

Would a child really get more 'overstimulated' banging a toy xylophone than a set of saucepan lids?


MrsTerryPratchett · 28/07/2015 15:55

At 18 months my DD liked the Tupperware. Bang it, put water in it, lose it under the cooker. Hours of fun. I actually don't think children need 'toys' as long as they have stuff to play with; water, sticks, pieces of dough.

Great article.

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