To think this is the most cowardly way to dump someone?

[muminthecity]

I've been single, quite happily, for almost 8 years - have had a few flings in that time but nothing serious. A couple of months ago I met someone by chance, we hit it off and exchanged numbers. Almost immediately we were talking and texting every day (more him than me - he definitely did most of the chasing.) We seemed to connect and there was definitely a spark, or so I thought. We had a few dates which went really well, loads of conversation, lots of laughter. We had loads in common, he confided in me about his childhood etc. Then all of a sudden, he just stopped calling and texting. He sent me a text last Wednesday, I replied, then nothing. I tried calling the following day, no answer. I sent one final text a few days later asking him to let me know what was going on, said it was fine if he didn't want to meet up anymore but to please let me know. Nothing. There was nothing leading up to this to suggest that he was going cold/wasn't interested, conversation was all normal.

He's obviously decided he doesn't want to see me anymore but AIBU to think this is just cowardly, and the least he could do is give some sort of explanation, or even make up an excuse? I'm so annoyed that the one person I've felt any sort of connection with in the best part of a decade has turned out to be so horrible, and even more annoyed at myself for caring so much!

It's a shit thing to do, it actually has a name, it's called ghosting.

YADNBU - big hug.

I can't think of any reason he would be physically unable to get in touch for a week other than death and incarceration. Both highly unlikely. Sounds like a spineless jerk, but that doesn't make it any less painful.

Damnit I really should have read the whole thread, sorry!

id be like you, thinking did something happen him or has he lost his phone. its hard to believe someone can do this. Come back and let us know if you hear anything. Take care xxx

Yes OP, ghosting is the word I was searching for. It's quite apt - they just disappear into the ether

Cowardly. No decent human being worth knowing would do this.
A few of my friends have actually had it done by 1) a live in partner and 2) a husband... When they came back from work trips to find out their menfolk had completely moved out, without discussion or explanation That's the advanced version!

He might be ignoring you. But he also could've just lost his phone. Do you have his email/facebook/Twitter/linkedin/home address? Write him elsewhere and ask whether he is ignoring you. Fb is the best for that IMO. You can see when message had been read.

You'll hear from this one again OP, when you're least expecting it.

I can tell you this confidently because it has happened to me with two different men in the last week alone!! Man 1 was one I was seeing about 4 months ago and really liked. He suddenly dropped off the radar. Our last text was just a normal 'hope you have a nice day' or something to that effect. He just popped up again. Man 2, I wasn't as keen on as we only went on one date. We had been chatting about date 2 though but then it all stopped.

Very weird. Several options.

• Married and found out
• Lost phone
• In a coma
• Found another Online woman he's more interested in (sorry to be blunt)
• Very busy
• In a time warp (unlikely)

Ah, that is shit behaviour. Had it done, not nice and very cowardly.

I think the most cowardly way I've heard about someone being dumped was a friend, who lived in a large university flat/digs with other men and women. So both had their own rooms, but all communal areas shared, everyone saw each other every day. They got together, only for him to dump her a few weeks later (felt he was missing out on the 'uni life' by being with her). He thought the best way to do this was by email. Even though they lived together - and had to continue doing so for weeks to come.

Me too... All was amazing, although he was a bit full on then dropped off suddenly after a few months....got back in touch "busy with work stress" then nothing. Then a text that ex had decided to get back with him.
And obviously a text a few weeks later when ex dumped him.
Some people just need the constant attention, I just bet you will hear when he's dumped/bored/alone.
It's shit, poor you.

I'd forgotten about this thread, just read all the recent posts. I'm sorry to those that have had it done to them, it is shitty. I've still not heard anything but I'm over it now and if he ever does bother getting in touch again he will be told where to go in no uncertain terms!

I can't think of any reason he would be physically unable to get in touch for a week other than death and incarceration.

Coma, being held hostage by Hesbollah. There's another 2. I'm sure there are loads. Most likely is he's dumped you and is a coward, but you never know.

Might have had his phone nicked?

Twist - he knows where I live, so phone problems are no excuse. It's definitely a dumping unfortunately!