AIBU or is my cat a c£&t

[HawkEyeTheNoo]

I've always had dogs, German Shepherds as it happens, and then when I was a single mum got a cat, a Siamese (well two but one one sadly got run over and died) very expensive cats, as they (Siamese) are more like dogs than cats (apparently) very vocal and follow me me everywhere etc. well AIBU to demand to this beautiful creature that when I pay my leg she comes to me? Because she's looking at me like I'm a piece of shit!! I feed her FFS!! )lighthearted)

* pat my leg

Your cat is not a Jeremy Hunt. You just aren't treating her properly. She should be on the chair, and you on the floor.

all cats fall into this category in my book. they walk on work surfaces with their dirty feet, they bring in gifts of half dead animals, they shit in other peoples/my garden and no one comes to clean it up because they are a cat apparently and completely exempt from the law that applies to dogs. AND I am incredibly allergic to them yet put me in a room with 99 other non allergic people and the cat will ponce in, look around and oh there she is, run over to me rub my legs with its horrible furry body, make stupid noises and generally try and cover every inch of my being with its bloody awful fur.

I think you'll find that a liberal application of Dreamies will do the trick

YABU. You should be grateful to be allowed in her presence at all.

Yabu. I can see by your tone you haven't got the hang of the whole cat thing. They own you. You are the servant who should cater to their every whim.
However last night Iwbu, when mine brought home yet another completely uninjured rodent to randomly release in the house, and then lay on the sofa grooming herself, pausing every so often to watch as the lunatic hobbled round trying to play catch the mouse. Until the actual hunter came home, briefly glanced at me like 'I've eaten thanks' and then they both sat and watched me. Except for a brief glare when I dragged their sofa out to play mouse hunt behind it.
Less trouble than dogs my arse!

YABU, after owning GSDs nothing will compare to them!!

Thank you. I'm going to sit on the floorand make sure she has all three couches to choose from. I've also given her chicken (for the third time this week whilst twice we had fish fingers!!totally fed better than is) so now should I expect love??

My Siamese comes when I call her, or one of the DC, or the dog, or if I pat my leg...or if I do anything in fact that could be interpreted as wanting her attention, lol,

She's currently sleeping on my foot

Yours is faulty...

I meant YANBU, my autocorrect likes to change GSD to GOD - there's a reason for this!!

I do like cats, but it's a one way street on their terms.

Lurked! Even with one eye through the gin, I'm chuckling!!

I've gone for a pee, with my phone, she's now pawing my face so I can't wipe... She hates me

Yes mummymeister, that's my girl. She wuvs you xx

Use the cat to wipe. It's obviously what she wants.

Sell the cat & get a dog

last week my cat brought me a dead pigeon, a fully grown pigeon. I doubt she killed it as there was no blood but I woke up and saw it under my bed.
Cat problems

She allows you to live in her home doesn't she? You should be grateful merely for being in her presence .

No cats are ever c**ts - they are just toooooo cuuutee (even the one that looks like Hitler and comes into my house and glares at me like I have offended it gravely ).

Are you MAD? Get MNHQ to delete this thread immediately! If your cat sees it you are in for a world of PAIN.

Remember the horse's head scene in Godfather?

Oh dear OP... YABvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvU and you clearly don't understand the concept of being a proper slave! Siamese are utter snobs and totally doing you a favour by even looking in your direction And I say that as someone who has had them since I was 6!

She's on Catsnet as this very moment (using your Wifi, natch) saying 'AIBU to give my owner shitty looks when she pats her leg and expects me to go to her' (obviously it would be a unanimous YANBU)

I went the other way. I had cats for 28 years and then inherited a dog when I had 2 remaining cats. When the dog was the last to go over the rainbow bridge, I was widowed with an empty house and CHOSE to my get own dog rather than another cat. He's a Border Collie.

Believe me, dogs may need walking up to 4 times a day but they do what they are told.

Lie down
Bed
Stay
Come
Shush

I now realise that I was a hostage to my cats (I had 4 at one time) and I knew how to be totally subservient. After a long day at work, I never took my coat off until I had answered the wowls for food, and change the litter tray. I was used to cats round my ankles whilst I cooked liver and bacon - knowing I would get the smallest serving.

I would relax on the sofa, but jump up 50 times a night to open the back door to let the cats out, open the patio doors to let them in, open the back door again to let another out..... ad infinitum. When they were all in at the same time, I sat on the floor whilst the cats had the 3-piece suite. I was lucky to get 12 inches of bed at night (and on a good night I even got a pillow!)

Of course I know that I was very honoured to have been allowed to share the cats' 4-bed detached house with them. One cat even checked out my NEW towels by scratching and nesting in them in the airing cupboard to test their quality before I was allowed to use them. I think she lubbed me extra-speshully.

Some tips

Your lap must be available at all times - even if that is when you are sitting on the loo.

Wear fluffy slippers so that when you are walking you are providing hunting/playful opportunities.

If you step on your princess by accident, say you are sorry immediately!

When you are put in your place with back-turning and ignoring, have plenty of treats (like Dreamies) to coak her to forgive you.

If she looks at you like you are a piece of shit - you are! You are bothering her ............ so stop it!

Thank you everyone, I know realise I have BVU!! I have stocked up on dreamies and those stinking treats (that look like cat pepperoni) and I am now prepared to realise that I am indeed her slave and should pander to her every whim and expect nothing but disdain in return. (Secretly hoping she reads this and posts on catsnet how I've come around to her way of thinking and won't get a horses (or other decapitated animal) head in my bed and perhaps she won't feel the need to sing the song of her people at 3am.... Again....

*now not know!