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AIBU?

To marry my friend?

60 replies

thegreenbackboogie · 25/07/2015 21:13

I'm seriously considering marrying my Australian friend so that I can move over there with DD. He's willing, my ex is OK with it - so I'm just wondering how it could work.

I know I'll probably receive some harsh responses but what do people think? AIBU?

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Hazchem · 25/07/2015 22:53

The visa process is lengthy and expensive. If you get caught you and anyone involved could be in serious trouble.
Can you not apply in you own right?

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Getthewonderwebout · 25/07/2015 23:09

It's illegal, please don't do it.

Australia really isn't all it's cracked up to be.

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thegreenbackboogie · 25/07/2015 23:19

Can I ask why you say it's not all it's cracked up to be wonder ? Just curious.

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XiCi · 25/07/2015 23:20

I don't understand this. Why don't you just apply for a visa yourself , you don't have to be married .

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thegreenbackboogie · 25/07/2015 23:21

To apply for a visa I would need to have a job on their skills shortage list. Unfortunately, I don't.

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BananaInPyjama · 25/07/2015 23:26

one of my friends was married to an Australian woman for 20 years before they decided to move back to Aus. He had masses of hoops to jump through . He had a temporary 2 year visa before his relationship was reassessed and he had to provide proof of being in a genuine committed relationship before it became permanent.

It was hard work- not the 'get married in a registry office' thing of UK

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RebootYourEngine · 25/07/2015 23:47

How would you feel if your neighbour married someone from a non-EU country so that they can move to the UK?

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DishPig · 25/07/2015 23:51

OP, have you looked into sponsored work (457) visas in Australia? The list of occupations accepted for these visas is a lot broader than the skilled occupations list. A 457 visa is 4 years and you can take steps towards PR in that time. There are heaps of recruitment sites for 457 workers so it's worth a look if you haven't already.

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thegreenbackboogie · 26/07/2015 00:16

Thanks Dishpig I'll take a look tomorrow.

Reboot it honestly wouldn't bother me in the slightest. It's none of my business.

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BitOfFun · 26/07/2015 00:19

Are you watching The Proposal on TV tonight?

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cuntycowfacemonkey · 26/07/2015 00:44

Sham marriage to gain residency in a foreign country? Living with a man and his child, raising your daughter in a dysfunctional "relationship" whilst under the constant stress of being found out? What could possibly go wrong?

Surely re-training over here and gaining a visa the legitimate way would be far easier than this ridiculous plan?

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Mermaidhair · 26/07/2015 00:46

You are asking us if yabu to break the law. It is people like you who make it harder for genuine couples, that is why they are so strict. I think you need another plan that doesn't involve a prison sentence.

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bestguess23 · 26/07/2015 00:53

Breaking the law is not going to provide a dream future. You risk spending time without your child if convicted. If you want to go you are going to need to go about it in the right way.

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Anon4Now2015 · 26/07/2015 01:07

Even if you went ahead with this, and it worked... would you even get the type of visa that allowed you to work? And if not would your friend be happy to support you and your DD indefinitely?

Also what if he met someone else, or if he just decided he couldn't go through with this any longer once you were out there; wouldn't your visa be revoked?

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swimmerforlife · 26/07/2015 01:19

As lovely as Australia is, it really isn't worth risking life in prison.

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HerRoyalNotness · 26/07/2015 01:22

Arent you young enough to get another workmg holiday visa? Or is it a case of having had one, you cant get another?

Can your family there sponsor you to go over?

Wouldnt risk a fake marriage tbh

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cuntycowfacemonkey · 26/07/2015 01:27

You can only have one working holiday visa

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TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 26/07/2015 01:29

Australia isn't some kind of magical utopia. You were on a working holiday before and the onus was on travel and seeing the country, beaches etc. Are you sure the reality of having to be stuck in one place, applying for jobs, dealing with the authorities and so on would be quite the same thing?
Also, on Wanted Down Under they ALWAYS end up missing their families. Think hard about taking DD away feom significant relationships e.g. Grandparents.
In short, I think you need a dose of reality! Forget the idea. Save for a holiday instead

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MrsTerryPratchett · 26/07/2015 01:58

It is illegal. You would be lying, they would probably ask for support letters/emails/photos so your friends and family would have to lie. I have gone through immigration to Canada with my very real DH and it was a nightmare. They didn't think we had a 'proper' relationship even though we had bought a house together and were planning a family. We needed even MORE evidence then.

Just retrain or think again.

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SavoyCabbage · 26/07/2015 03:18

We had the 'evidence photos' of our (expensive massive country house) wedding rejected as they contained only guests from one generation. Our own. We had to send another one with our aunties and uncles on. So they look quite closely at you is what I am saying.

I couldn't agree more with what PotatoCity said. We all love places when we are on holiday. I have had a 'wanted down under' party with my friends so I could show them the program. It's ridiculous, like one of those comedy documentaies, the places they show them houses in. 'Only two hours from the city'.

There are other far easier ways to come here if you want to. It's an expensive thing to do and it's an expensive place to live when you get here.

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violetbunny · 26/07/2015 05:31

OP, as someone who has gone through this process before in two other countries, it's not going to be straightforward at all. You need to supply a mountain of detailed evidence to prove you're genuinely in a relationship. The system is set up that way exactly so that it's not open to to the type of abuse you're contemplating.

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MrsJamin · 26/07/2015 07:39

Yabu. It's illegal and I hope you don't get away with it.

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thegreenbackboogie · 26/07/2015 07:46

OK I've had a sleep and realise that it's an absolutely ridiculous idea! I hadn't been drinking but I certainly wasn't thinking straight. I really do want to move to Australia though and would be willing retrain so I could move over there legitimately.

Can anyone recommend any 'easier' and legal ways to do this?

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juneau · 26/07/2015 07:56

Is it legally wrong? Yes. Could you get caught? Of course! And what would the penalty be for cheating the Australian Immigration Authorities? Do you even know?

When DH and I married in the US (he's American, I'm British), we were not only questioned separately about our relationship, but we had to provide proof of it i.e. photos, emails, cards, going back several years. We also had to be living together, sharing finances, bills with both our names on, etc, etc and after two years we had to go back and provide all that info again, to prove that we'd been living as man and wife. If we'd been bogus it would've been incredibly stressful and immigration officials are trained to recognise body language that gives people away who are lying. Just think about that for a minute.

Its also morally wrong, but that clearly doesn't bother you very much.

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itsonlysubterfuge · 26/07/2015 07:59

You said you have relatives in Australia, could they not sponsoryou?

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