Spoiled children

[AlwaysSpoiled34]

Is it always so good to spoil a child? Some people think presents, treats and so called nice things in life are more important than spending time with children. I was at this social event today and it looked so obvious that mother loves her birthday boy but is not an adult herself. Children want to be surrounded by responsible grown ups to feel secure. AIBU to think that you can spoil rotten your children and they will not thank you for that?

This mother is not necessarily the same as your mother-you are projecting. She was having a laugh with her child and spoiling him on his birthday.
You sound like the fun police TBH.

Are you having a go at a mum spoiling her son on his birthday because she's young?

Just...what?

I don't think a two hour snapshot of someone with their child is enough to tell you how that person parents.

You could look at me this morning playing Playmobil pirates, dressed as Thor with a batch of cupcakes in the oven DS2 and I have made, and think "Ooh, she's putting in time and effort". Then you could look at me tonight, sat on Mumsnet for two hours, drinking large small amounts of wine and telling them to bugger off back to bed and think "what a dick, she doesn't even engage when they're getting out of bed at 9.30 for the 13th time". It's all about perspective. Good parenting is something different for everyone. Going mad on a child's birthday is hardly the epitome of a dreadful parent. Being young is also not indicative of shitey parenting.

op start again.
Otherwise it will be six pages of having a go and not really giving you a chance.

I'm confused, though, are you judging the Mum at today's social event by your own Mother's standards?

Your own Mum must have been difficult to grow up with; do you have a relationship with her now?

As I said previously, no judgement on you but you can't use a 2 hour window to really understand how someone parents.

Im confused are you talking about your mum or another mum you are being cryptic so a mum gets over excited buys birthday presents on her sons Birthday shocker

I think birthdays and Christmas are exceptions - you can't judge based on a birthday party
You are projecting your own feelings
And her age is irrelevant

ODFOD.

My children are definitely not materially spoilt and they are raised with clear boundaries. They have plenty of family time and we do a lot if low key, free activities. However, I go all out for their birthdays - not in terms of wildly expensive presents but quite elaborate parties which they plan for months, huge birthday cakes and treats. It's one day that is all about celebrating them, they are the centre of attention and it is their day.

Do you have children? Be careful you don't react against your own upbringing by going too far the other way and never indulging them at all.

God forbid you should get presents fot your child on their birthday, how awful! You sound like your issues are with your own mother. Don't judge people on that or you're in for a very sad life. Assuming you're an adult now it might be time to let go of these negative feelings you're harbouring