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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed he ditched me?

55 replies

annoyedisright · 23/07/2015 22:40

Been texting a friend of a friend for a couple of weeks. (He's called Jason and he is hoooot. He's a builder so he has a nice body. Haha) he mainly seems like a nice guy, I think

He wanted to meet up last week but I couldn't due to childcare. He got a bit sulky but was fine in the end. So we arranged to go out tomorrow - his idea, not mine. Only now he's said his mates are going out now so he's going to go out with them instead.

Which, you know I'm not bothered about, if he wants to go out with his mates then fine, but considering he had plans already I think it is a bit rude?

Am I wrong to think well fuck him, I'm not just being "pencilled in until a better offer comes along" and to just tell him to forget it altogether.

Or is that my cynicism from exes being twats and should I just benefit of the doubt?

I've arranged a babysitter who I still have to pay. I now have a boring Friday night with nothing to do and a wasted £30. Urgh, so annoying

OP posts:
ToastedOrFresh · 24/07/2015 00:55

He was getting you back because you were unable to see him first time. He has different priorities. Just chalk it up to experience and move on.

The5DayChicken · 24/07/2015 01:56

Don't mind retro, she's on the wind up tonight.

Just cut loose OP. No use throwing good time and money after bad. Any man who sulks because you have to look after your children isn't worth the space he occupies.

WandaDoff · 24/07/2015 02:04

He sounds too immature for a relationship anyway.

Original poster
annoyedisright · 24/07/2015 06:53

Firstly, I do not have baggage, I have children.

Secondly in order for a relationship to work there needs to be mutual attraction. I am not going to lower my standards because I have children - I'd rather be single than be with someone I didn't find attractive

Thirdly I am also hot Grin

And final go and get laid or something, sounds like you need it you miserable cow

OP posts:
Original poster
annoyedisright · 24/07/2015 06:55

And thanks to everyone else, I shall definitely chalk it up to experience and move past it :)

OP posts:
Happyringo · 24/07/2015 07:37

Get a big fat take out, a vat of wine, a good film/box set and enjoy the (what sounds like a rare) night off the children. He doesn't sound like he's worth any more head space.

PrincessFiorimonde · 24/07/2015 08:35

OP, good for you for taking it on the chin. Plenty more Jasons about, and hope you soon meet one who's both hot and nice.

MorrisZapp, you made me laugh (but now I'm panicking about my 'pants drawer').

BabyFeets · 24/07/2015 08:42

I think it's annoying you spent money on a baby sitter but he doesn't know you from no where and his friends come first.
I don't think he is a dick

Aramynta · 24/07/2015 08:46

He sounds like hard work. People who play silly games like this 'tit for tat' shit are gone in my book.

You don't need the hassle, what, with all the 'baggage' you apparently have Grin

retrorobot · 24/07/2015 09:56

OP. Sad that you started using misogynistic abuse just because you didn't like what you heard.

Frankly, it is embarrassing for you that you are blathering on about "hotness" when you are old enough to be the mother of children.

It was you yourself who criticised your exes. And from the post it looks like you have a "type" of man - the "hot", shitty type.

Grow up, cop on and get some self-respect.

The5DayChicken · 24/07/2015 10:13

How tedious retro...

TwinkieTwinkle · 24/07/2015 10:26

retro you're a little bitter and nasty, aren't you?!Hads this thread struck a sore spot? Very strange reaction. I bet you are not a 'hooot' to be around.

BatCrapCrazy · 24/07/2015 10:26

Retro, how patronising. IMHO it is refreshing to read a thread where the woman isnt lowering her standards and still wondering where she's going wrong.
For what it's worth, I'm the mother of two and I would say I'm hot in the eyes of some men. I also "blather on about hotness" of other men if I find them attractive . I get plenty of male attention. I'm not single now, I'm getting married in 6 weeks but when DCs were babies, I was single for a year. I met some lovely men and some arrogant arsewipes. Not all men saw my DC as baggage. In this modern day and age, DC from previous relationships are hugely common. Having children does not give you a one way ticket to nights in knitting and celibacy.
OP, use your night off to enjoy some time to yourself. It sounds like you deserve it.

The5DayChicken · 24/07/2015 10:32

Fairly sure it's not this thread specifically Twinkie. Sadly there are several threads from last night where she's been equally goady.

TwinkieTwinkle · 24/07/2015 11:03

I've just noticed them on another. What a knob.

PrincessFiorimonde · 24/07/2015 11:08

retrorobot

Where is the 'misogynistic abuse' you see in the OP's posts? Confused

And why is it a bad thing if the OP sees herself as 'hot'? I'm sure you wouldn't advocate a person having a poor self-image.

londonrach · 24/07/2015 11:10

Ring some of your girlfriends and see if you can go with them instead. If not enjoy going to thr cinema by your self. Why waste that £30. Whatever you decide have a lovely evening..

ahbollocks · 24/07/2015 11:16

I dunno, my wise old pisshead aunt used to aay you should always maery someone uglier than you because they would always be grateful Grin
Another gem was 'never ever love a man more than he loves you'

A true romantic!
But OP yeaaah ditch him, ive always foubd that blokes who text alot often have a few girls on the go at the same time.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 24/07/2015 11:27

OP, £30 is a bargain to be shot of him. Consider it money well spent.

Retro, you seem to have a bunch of issues that is making you shoe-horn in inappropriate responses to the OP. You are being rude, and what you are saying doesn't really make any sense, but you seem determined to be somewhat insulting to her. It's a bit baffling.

AllThatGlistens · 24/07/2015 11:32

retro likes to post controversial comments Wink

Hit the button folks.

DixieNormas · 24/07/2015 11:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
annoyedisright · 24/07/2015 13:21

Thanks all :) I am going to spend the evening at the cinema like suggested. Someone I know is possibly going out tonight so I may join her after. I'm not going to waste my evening.

Retro you are clearly looking for an argument but you won't get one from me. If all you feel the need to do is try and belittle people and behave like this then I feel sorry for you. You seem to want me to be aggressive to you so that you can validate your own rude responses. But that won't happen.

I don't need validation from you. There is nothing wrong with being happy with who I am. I am not someone people walk past and say wow, but that is OK. Because I'm not someone people walk past and think "who let her out" either ;)
I can look in the mirror and be happy with who I see looking back at me. I don't see why that offends you so much?

I talk to my friends, support colleagues, offer love and kindness to my family and think to myself that the majority of the time I am a good person - we all have our moments but who doesn't.

If I was not happy with who I am then I wouldn't be in a position to be texting with the intent to date. If I'm not happy with myself how do I expect someone else to be happy with me?

Sure some of my exes were dicks, but equally I can be sure that some of my exes would say the same about me. We all behave in ways that aren't great when we are unhappy in a relationship at times.

Referring to someone as hot, well why not? It isn't like I'd be wanting to date someone who I didn't have an attraction to is it?

I have 2 children, that doesn't automatically mean that I am supposed to be boring. I am still allowed to say someone is hoooot if I like. So boo to you, live a little.

And PS a man being hot doesn't automatically make him a horrible person.

OP posts:
seagreengirl · 24/07/2015 13:42

Where is the 'misogynistic abuse' you see in the OP's posts?

And final go and get laid or something, sounds like you need it you miserable cow

Original poster
annoyedisright · 24/07/2015 13:45

I'd say that was pretty minor considering it was first thing in the morning, but yes, it was out of line, so I apologise for that one comment

OP posts:
RhiWrites · 24/07/2015 14:14

I'm old enough to have children ( I don't but my cat is 18 years old) and I say hot and smoking hot.

Never grow up, OP. Watch Inside Out at the cinema.