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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this a bit... Off...

16 replies

Hurr1cane · 23/07/2015 19:09

Someone I know... Ish... I don't know her son. I only know her to say hello to in passing, has today shared a video of her child with autism having an autistic meltdown on Facebook.

Is it just me or is this a bit off? Surely the hold deserves some level of privacy when struggling with his disability?

OP posts:
hedgehogsdontbite · 23/07/2015 19:10

Maybe she's trying to raise awareness of what life is like for her and her child.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 23/07/2015 19:11

Very weird.

Who'd want to watch that?

Finola1step · 23/07/2015 19:12

Is this her way if showing friends and family that they need support? A bit of a cry for help?

Hurr1cane · 23/07/2015 19:14

I don't know. If she wanted support she has it in bundles. She wasn't raising awareness. It was a very... Feel sorry for me.. Type of post.

It just made me feel very uncomfortable, I have my own child with a typical autism and meltdowns can be horrific. But I've never filmed them or even thought about sharing them so publicly.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 23/07/2015 19:14

Not something I would do. But my first thoughts were it was either to raise awareness or a cry for support.

coolaschmoola · 23/07/2015 19:16

I doubt it comes from a desire to entertain... It sounds like she's struggling. I'd hold back on the judgement you only know her ish, so you don't really know enough to know why she felt the need to post.

HoldYerWhist · 23/07/2015 19:17

Was it a 'look how awful my child is and what I have to put up with' post?

My cousin does this all the time. I've blocked her.

Hurr1cane · 23/07/2015 19:18

I'm not judging her at all it just made me feel a bit bad for the child. I've spent a lot of time with adults with autism and this is the type of thing they stop talking to their parents over so maybe that's why I'm so sensitive about it.

It may have been a cry for help. But a lot of her friends were 'lol'ing about it and she joined in a bit.

I might just hide her updates as deleting her would really offend I think.

OP posts:
mrsmeerkat · 23/07/2015 19:19

I think it is a terrible thing for her to do. Invasion of his privacy and uncalled for.

Reignbeau · 23/07/2015 19:19

I think probably YANBU. I feel the same about people sharing pictures of their children covered in chicken pox spots etc, if the child would feel embarrassed about it in later life then don't post it. My mum took a picture of me as a child in my underwear covered in measles spots, thankfully before Facebook existed so I was able to rip it up to make sure she couldn't show people, I hated the fact that the picture existed.

Celerie · 23/07/2015 19:19

Sounds like a cry for help to me. Might not be how we'd do it but I'd be inclined to reach out and message her. Sometimes that is all you want, to have something acknowledged and not feel as if you are screaming into a howling wind that snatches your words away before anyone hears them.

Hurr1cane · 23/07/2015 19:20

Yes hold it was exactly like that.

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HoldYerWhist · 23/07/2015 19:22

I suspected as much.

I can assure posters that in my cousin's case it was for attention and sympathy and absolutely not a cry for help.

Sometimes people are just awful.

Hurr1cane · 23/07/2015 19:22

I know she has a massive group of support if she needs it. I won't say how because it would be unfair and identifying. I did message her today but she replied saying she was fine.

OP posts:
Celerie · 23/07/2015 19:28

I don't think cries for sympathy are a bad thing necessarily and sometimes you don't want support from 'there', you want it from 'there' instead, IYKWIM?

I'd be inclined to just acknowledge too, it as you did. Parenting is so hard, isn't it and a quick reach out costs little.

yorkshapudding · 23/07/2015 20:14

YANBU. As adults we can choose to share deeply personal stuff about ourselves on social media, or not. A child doesn't have the capacity to make that choice. If I was very distressed about something and someone close to me decided to film it on their phone and upload it to social media I would be hurt and humiliated, regardless of their motivation for doing so. I think wherever possible we should try to give children the same level of privacy and dignity we expect for ourselves.

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