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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Perhaps it's the holidays; But does anyone have in-laws, especially MILs who are NOT a total PITA?

88 replies

FargoFGS · 23/07/2015 17:22

That's basically it. Does anyone have normal in-laws? Does anyone have a great mother-in-law? Do women change when they become a MIL?

Why all the angst and anger toward them? Surely no family is perfect. I can't understand why MILs get such a bad rep on here.

OP posts:
CallOfTheRiled · 23/07/2015 17:44

Mine is wonderful. I love her so much. She taught me about unconditional love, something my mum never managed to show.

ollieplimsoles · 23/07/2015 17:45

This is a lovely thread, marking my place.

My mil is an utter nightmare in every possible way- but she was as a mother so its got nothing to do with being a mil (her bad behaviour is more directed at dh really)

My fil on the other hand is a like a dad to me, he's a wonderful man and I love him to bits. I absolutely adore my bil too (dh's brother) I love their little dynamic as three boys and I always feel included and loved by them.

My sisters husband is amazing as well, like my own brother and perfect for my sister in every way!

JoandMax · 23/07/2015 17:47

My MIL is lovely, we get on really well and always have done!

FIL is great too, they both treat me amazingly and we're very lucky to have them in our lives

TheRealAmyLee · 23/07/2015 17:48

Love my in laws. I even sometimes visit without my dh. As for my own parents? Lets say no comment...

HumphreyCobbler · 23/07/2015 17:57

I wasn't offended, as I said, I have a nice MIL. But it does seem obvious that people post about the difficult relationships they have, not the easy ones. My point about husbands was that people often post about difficult husbands, but no one ever starts a thread asking if ANYONE has a nice DH??

Lancelottie · 23/07/2015 17:58

My MIL is fine -- bit set in her ways, but generous to a fault and always keen to see the good in me(!)

FIL (RIP) was even better. God I loved that man. Sniff.

WorraLiberty · 23/07/2015 17:59

My MIL is lovely and so is my ex MIL.

Revenant · 23/07/2015 18:01

My MIL and SIL are both lovely to me, they try and stuff me with cake and biscuits at every turn and are determined to be as little trouble as possible - for example, I have to stop them bring their own bedclothes and towels as they don't want me to have the bother of washing them(!). They do have a dark side though, they are Daily Mail addicts. And they all yawn really loudly.

EponasWildDaughter · 23/07/2015 18:10

XMIL was a PITA but new MIL is lovely.

Best thing for me is that she treats my 3 oldest DCs by my first marriage with love, and has accepted them as part of the family from day one from when they were introduced to her. When DD4 was born (her blood GC) she was lovely, not pushy or intruding, and often says that her youngest son's marriage to me has been the making of him :) Lovely thing to say.

t3rr3gl35 · 23/07/2015 18:12

My MIL, and all of my SIL's are absolutely terrific. They have all taken me into the family and I have never been made to feel as if I'm an outsider. My MIL is possibly coming to live with us for a few months in the near future and I can truly say that I'm looking forward to it.

CharleyDavidson · 23/07/2015 18:12

My MIL is lovely. We visit her often (the girls and I) even when DH isn't planning a visit. She's super friendly, funny and welcoming. And I have enjoyed many a shopping trip with her and her sister.

4kidsandaunicorn · 23/07/2015 18:15

FIL and step MIL, both fabulous, very supportive of decisions that we make, none of that 'oh Mummy isn't looking' 'just this once won't hurt' malarkey.

GhettoFabulous · 23/07/2015 18:15

I adore my NIL, she Welsh and she calls me "my lovely." I'm NC with my narcissist mum and have been for 10 years so she is the mother I wish I had. And my partner is a wonderful man and it's all down to her.

GreyBird84 · 23/07/2015 18:16

My step mother in law is awesome. My MIL - not so much.

The feeling is mutual so c'est la vie.

trilbydoll · 23/07/2015 18:17

My inlaws are great, sometimes overly concerned about overstepping the mark but at least that means they never do! Mil thinks I am very slovenly I'm sure, but she is never anything but unfailingly supportive and helpful.

iliketea · 23/07/2015 18:19

My MIL is a Pita, but I don't think it's all MILs at all, or me being unreasonable. I have 3 siblings who all have great in-laws, and I'm envious of the great relationships they have with each partners family.

honeyandfizz · 23/07/2015 18:23

I love my mil too, she has the dc for a week every summer & Easter holidays Wink

Yarp · 23/07/2015 18:24

Agree with Humphrey

NotReallyAPrincess · 23/07/2015 18:25

It seems to go to both extremes on here: MILs are either horrific harpies or wonderful women who hearts of gold.

My mil is nice. She's not an evil witch, but nor is she amazing & like a second mum to me. She's a normal person with flaws and foibles like any other. Sometimes she irritates me; most of the time she doesn't. She'll be a part of my life as long as I'm with DH so it's in my best interests to get on with her!

Groovee · 23/07/2015 18:26

My in laws are fab now... But in the beginning we had a tough time! MIL was worried I was too young for dh and liked to slag me off to her best friend who unwittingly told my aunt and uncle who the told my mum what was being said about their neighbours best friends son's girlfriend! They didn't know it was me!

But now things are good, she has a good relationship with both kids!

60sname · 23/07/2015 18:29

My mil is nice. She's not an evil witch, but nor is she amazing & like a second mum to me. She's a normal person with flaws and foibles like any other. Sometimes she irritates me; most of the time she doesn't. She'll be a part of my life as long as I'm with DH so it's in my best interests to get on with her!

^ this.

fourflights · 23/07/2015 18:43

My MIL was lovely, hopeless but lovely.

When my DH is asleep he looks just like her, I wake him up to tell him sometimes. Grin

tomatodizzymum · 23/07/2015 18:52

My MIL is fantastic, I even work with her. My own mum is hard work by comparison.

Lariflete · 23/07/2015 18:57

No MIL as she is dead but my FIL is fab.
He has had a very difficult life and at first I was slightly scared of him but now I know him better he and I have a good relationship.
He is incredibly generous and kind hearted, but I do wish he would visit us and the kids more often.

Tryingtokeepalidonit · 23/07/2015 18:57

My late MIL was lovely but some of the things she did that I found wonderful are the same as others complain about. For example when I had my DC she would come around and clean/cook, I was enormously grateful but I am aware others feel it is intrusive. I used to love coming home from work when my kids were teens to find a meal in the oven and ironing done and put away. We had an open door policy and my main gripe was that she was an amazing baker and would drop off delicious cakes, I so miss her coconut one! I think it is more about the relationship than the person. Being a lazy mare I loved having such a domesticated MIL!