Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To move DS's birthday party to a new location?

34 replies

listsandbudgets · 23/07/2015 12:12

12 invited. Invites out for nearly 3 weeks. Reminder notes sent. Texts sent a few days later to those whose numbers i had. DP managed to speak to some parents as he was droppiing off at nursery and tehy said they'd let us know.

3 responses! Yes 3.

Party is on Sunday. We are having it at home. Right now i feel like moving the whole thing to a soft play area, lavishing money, food, huge party bags and attention on the 3 whose parents bothered to reply and simply not being at home to anyone who turns up without bothering to reply.

I know this happens all the time but AIBU ?

OP posts:

SavoyCabbage · 23/07/2015 12:19

Sounds like a good idea to me. Well, not the lavishing part, but moving it because you only have a few dc.


MrsHathaway · 23/07/2015 12:34

Yanbu and it would be EPIC.


DirtyMugPolice · 23/07/2015 12:37

YANBU - the 3 that are coming and your DS would have a brilliant time. Would you leave a note on the door or anything?


Theycallmemellowjello · 23/07/2015 12:37

YANBU to move the venue and be very frustrated, but I guess the potential problem is that you end up punishing the kids rather than the parents, which seems a bit unfair. I think I'd send a final warning to the parents saying that you are assuming that non-repliers are not attending, and will be changing venue, so they should let you know if they were planning to come.


MummaGiles · 23/07/2015 12:37

Oh please do that. It is so SO rude not to RSVP, you've given them plenty of opportunity.


TheHouseOnBellSt · 23/07/2015 12:38

Oh God home is perfect OP! You can tailor it to however many come...


Floggingmolly · 23/07/2015 12:39

It's incredibly rude not to reply, but unfortunately it's quite normal these days Hmm. They'll probably all turn up. I've chased people before only to hear "well of course she's coming; I'd have told you if she wasn't!" No manners.
It's a bloody minefield...


Howmanywotwots · 23/07/2015 12:42

I wouldn't change anything, people don't like to be messed about with changes.


pilates · 23/07/2015 12:45

I would keep it to the same day and lavish the ones that are coming. Be prepared for some to just turn up on the day without replying. What have you got planned for the party? Party games may be a bit difficult with only four of them.


TruJay · 23/07/2015 12:48

Yanbu it's so annoying. Thankfully all of mine rsvp'd except 2. After chasing one mum she finally said "oh X doesn't want to come to a boys party" with a lot of laughter afterwards. It was at a soft play centre, I gave her this look Hmm was genuinely baffled, there were plenty of girls going including her best friend.
And the other mum I asked her a couple of times if her dd was going and she started blanking me/crossing the road on school run. Once the party had happened she was back to normal and saying hi again Confused I don't get it, if you don't wanna go just say so.

It would be a great birthday party with a little gang at soft play, extra food/treats but I only worry about the other kids being 'punished' and not the parents if they turn up at your house as a PP said.

I'd try once more with non rsvpiers and then do as you please after that


RealityCheque · 23/07/2015 12:48

Its really not a mine field at all. Its just rude.

And way to miss the point, BellSt.

Go somewhere else. No note and don't answer your phone.

Explain later that it was moved due to lack of interest. And you had no signal. Ignorant wankers.


LavenderRain · 23/07/2015 12:49

Change venue and set up a camera so you can see who turned up at your house Grin
Leave a note on the door saying
"Change of venue as only 3 replies so Weve gone out to have fun"

This used to piss me off When DC were young, so rude. Especially when they turn up and look all innocent when you ask why they didn't reply!


listsandbudgets · 23/07/2015 12:49

We've borrowed a bouncy castle but needless to say the forecast is for a bl**dy thunderstorm. That's another reason I'm thinking of moving it. Otherwise will just have to be dancing, pass the parcel (with lots of prizes between 4) and some little party games.

Poor Ds its his first party and he's so excited.

OP posts:

SingForBacon · 23/07/2015 12:50

Do it! If anyone turns up at your house and calls you because you aren't there, you can pleasantly say they can join you at the soft play, you changed the venue as so few children could make it and you assumed their child wasn't coming.


listsandbudgets · 23/07/2015 12:51

And yes I worry about punishing the other children who aren't in control but may be looking forward to a party. Its not their fault

OP posts:

CatMilkMan · 23/07/2015 12:54

I was chanting "DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT" in my head until lists comments about punishing children because the parents forgot.


Elsashmelsa · 23/07/2015 13:18

OP, I would change the venue too. I've been very lucky with DD's parties as everyone has always RSVPd, even though it was a class of 30. However, my DSis (or not so much 'D' in this example) has 3 DCs and told me once (when we were discussing RSVPing to parties) that because her DCs have a lot of outside activities and subsequently friends all over the place, sometimes she will only reply the night before in case they get a 'better offer' - I was shocked and embarrassed that she was my DSis to be honest. If another invite comes in and you're already booked for something, tough bloody luck!!!


I hope your DS has a lovely time.


pilates · 23/07/2015 13:24

Op, you have got a legitimate excuse to change the venue/day if the weather forecast isn't good.


LIZS · 23/07/2015 13:33

Tempting . However you might suddenly get inundated with replies when those 3 mention it to their friends.


PumpkinsMummy · 23/07/2015 13:43

OP, it is your son's birthday, and therefore the emphasis should be on what is the best for him. Four people at home is a lovely party if that is what was planned for, but if the weather will be ruling out your most exciting part, and he was expecting a big party with all of his friends he will be disappointed I think.

In this case I would go to the soft play and have a wonderful time with those children who have replied. Any children who turn up on the day may be upset, but that is for their parent's to manage and deal with, not you.

If anyone mentions it a breezy "Oh yes, DS was SO upset about so many people not being able to come we moved the venue to somewhere where lack of numbers wouldn't be so obvious" .

If word gets round then before the party and anyone is rude enough to ask to come now, "sorry, it's all booked and paid for under the original numbers, as I chased 3 times I needed to sort something out quickly so DS had something to look forward to".


fabuLou · 23/07/2015 13:51

I think its Genuis. Please don't leave a note or answer phone. Hate people like this and as for punishing the children these people don't think sbout your child.

I alwsys respond asap, usually sane day invite received. I mean, a text takes 30 secs max and I have 4 dcs before people say how busy they are.yawn


bored1602 · 24/07/2015 17:57

This sounds like a great idea! Personally I'd leave a note though, that way non-RSVPers that turn up still get to join you, but once they arrive explain that those that RSVPed were paid for in advance so they'll have to pay for and supervise their own DCs (not that its about the money, but just to make a point really).


Pico2 · 24/07/2015 18:14

YANBU - it's a massive pita. This year I've put an RSVP by date on the invitations. I assume that anyone who doesn't respond by then will not be coming, but I'm waiting to see if it works. I've had one "that's her dad's weekend so he needs to reply but she probably can" and if last year is anything to go by, he won't respond and she will only ever have half a social life, which is quite sad.

I mentioned to one of our nursery staff how hard it is to get a response from parents and she said how painful it is for them.


listsandbudgets · 25/07/2015 23:09

We are keeping it at home. Some judicious moving of furniture means we can get the bouncy castle up in our living room. Luckily a previous owner knocked 2 reception rooms into 1 so we can manage it with a goof bit of extra space at the end. Presents all wrapped, about to make pancake batter for his favourite breakfast and feeling quite emotional. My little boy is no longer a baby.

Up to 4 responses now! I don't care what matters is that he's loved happy and is left with some good memories

OP posts:

listsandbudgets · 25/07/2015 23:18

It is a small bouncy castle by yhe way before you all start thinking we livein a mansion!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?