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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you think your children need so much holiday

135 replies

manicinsomniac · 22/07/2015 21:15

I'm coming at this as a teacher who loves every second of my holidays by the way so definitely not teacher bashing. It's a major perk of my job and I'd be devastated to lose it.

BUT

We always say the holidays are for the children, not the teachers and the children really need it because they're exhausted.

Do you think that's true?

We have extended days and Saturday school and my children were knackered for the first few days and had lots of down time. But now, a week and a half into our (crazily long 7.5 week holiday!) they're fully refreshed and would happily go back tomorrow if asked.

They really do not need 13+ weeks of down time a year. All their extra curriculars are term time only so I'm racing them about to open dance classes, free summer events, into London, sending them out to play for hours to get rid of energy. They're certainly not acting like poor, exhausted little beings. In a week or so they're even going to have to start doing some holiday work with me, I think.

We love having the holidays because we tend to go travelling (off to America for all of August this year) so I'm certainly not saying I want them gone.

Just questioning whether, actually, 2 weeks off for each holiday plus half terms (so 9 weeks holiday in total) would be perfectly sufficient and make life easier for a lot of people?

OP posts:

futureme · 23/07/2015 13:42

Its one factor in us being a lower income family/ex council house. I dont have family who can help out and i want to be able to enjoy time with the kids. Id probably homeschool if we had a more reliable income.

On the other hand if youve got serious money you can afford the opportunities bonsoir mentions, educational or skills based holidays in other countries.

Its those in the middle that have it tough i think. 9-5 in local basic playscheme is neither finding own fun or quite as exciting as bonsoirs summer.

futureme · 23/07/2015 13:42

Or can afford an au pair/nanny to do all the fun stuff with them in the summer!

SoleBizzzz · 23/07/2015 13:44

My DS has so much on this year! Day care respite 9am to 4pm Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri. On Wednesday he has a two to three hour club activity. Bi weekly on a Friday he has an overnight stay. Tuesday he goes sailing and Sunday horse riding for thirty minutes. For me it is a hell of a lot of driving. I don't get to do much for meeeeee.

Bubblesinthesummer · 23/07/2015 13:49

I love that my dc have 9 weeks free from school and formal education during the summer months

Don't know where you are but 9 weeks for summer is not 'normal' in state education in England and Wales.

SirChenjin · 23/07/2015 13:50

Bonsoir is a SAHP and only has one child of around 10 iirc- her DSC are in their late teens and don't live with her. That makes it much easier.

takeinyourhen · 23/07/2015 13:51

Now that DS is going into year 3 and finally is able to be allowed out to play either on his bike or with other children nearby, I'm really looking forward to this summer holiday and I'm sad for him that we're away for 2 weeks of it on holiday!

I like that there's 6 weeks off together and would like more not less! I think that they need time to be themselves without worrying about school work. Summer is a great time when they follow their interests and have much needed family time and time to have fun without early bed times for "school in the morning".

I remember being 7/8/9 and those summers were the best times of my life! Water fights, running around fields, riding my bike, exploring, building dams in streams and wonderful times with my nan and enjoying her garden - absolutely the best.

JoandMax · 23/07/2015 13:54

For our family we love the long holidays (10 weeks for mine this summer) but I'm a SAHM so there's no logistics or childcare considerations for us.

Mine are only little, 5 and 7, and whilst they love school I don't want that to be the be all and end all of their lives. I want them to spend time pottering at home, playing on the beach, being with me and DH (when he can) chatting and generally doing our own thing. Its not about recharging batteries, its letting them play without routine or uniform and seeing another side to life than what they learn in the classroom.

HenriettaBarnet · 23/07/2015 14:20

for working parents though, the children don't always get 6 weeks off. Mine have had to go to a club this week 9-4.30 which isn't particularly down time (it's fun but they aren't resting).

So while I do actually agree that children need a break (think 4 weeks would probably be ok and then extend the Christmas holidays), the reality for alot of children is that they don't get a break because their parents can't take the time off work.

(and that is not even going into the stress and expense of organising activities for the children all summer!).

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 23/07/2015 14:25

I'd hate the Christmas holidays to be longer - vastly better to have time off in summer when the chances of being outdoors all day most days are much higher!

My kids definitely need the holidays, but whether they need to be so long I'm not sure.

atticusclaw · 23/07/2015 14:28

My local authority looked serious at changing to a four term system with shorter summer holidays (but shorter terms too). There would have been no more/less contact time. It was in large part due to the studies which showed that children from deprived backgrounds suffered disproportionately during the long summer holiday, went backwards in terms of their education and participated in an increased amount of anti social behaviour.

There was broad support from parents. There was uproar from the teachers. Particularly those who lived out of the city and said it would be unfair to have different holidays to their children who were at school in different counties.

morethanpotatoprints · 23/07/2015 14:33

I would like longer at Christmas as it doesn't seem long enough.
This time dd will have an extra week though and go back 10th January.

yes, I do think they need all the breaks they have and it's fine for them to be bored and not having their time micro managed for a while.
I've always loved the holidays and not wanted them to go back

SirChenjin · 23/07/2015 14:36

unfair to have different holidays to their children who were at school in different counties

Time to look at it across the board then, imo. It sounds like a great idea. Here is Scotland we have a myriad of different local holidays across LAs, which means that outside of the major holidays DH, the DCs and I have completely different holidays.

Iggi999 · 23/07/2015 14:54

You can work that to your advantage though, particularly if you ever have time off when the docs are actually at school... The peace! It is one reason why I won't move to certain (cheaper) areas though which is a downside, as we would end up with the three way split of holidays.

SirChenjin · 23/07/2015 15:05

The peace is nice - but I need the childcare more. It would also be nice to have more family time on these nonsensical local holidays.

RapidlyOscillating · 23/07/2015 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 23/07/2015 15:33

I think time at home is important, most kids I know are more than ready for a break. 6 weeks isn't a long time to fill. I can understand it being hard if you need child care though .

Fluffy24 · 23/07/2015 15:53

I think it's a real shame if we become a society where the default is for children to be in school rather than being there for only as long as necessary to learn what they need.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 23/07/2015 15:55

I agree Fluffy.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 23/07/2015 15:57

Don't know about them needing it I think it's nice for them to have it. I used to love them and mine feel the same. Everything is much more relaxed especially on a morning. I think 6weeks is long enough though. When it starts to get near the end of it they don't want to go back and if they had any longer off they'd probably not want to despite liking school.

juneau · 23/07/2015 16:01

My DS goes to a private school and they get almost nine weeks off over the summer. Then they get another two weeks for half-term in Oct! Its far too much time TBH. Yes he needed a break at the end of term - he was tired and a bit run down - but having been off for the past two weeks he's now fully refreshed.

Because we have such loooooong holidays he does two days a week at activity camps, another day we have a play date with friends from school, and on the other two days we go swimming, to the park, to the zoo (we have an annual pass), have play dates with other friends, etc. We don't sit around at home very much because its so boring - not just for him, but for me too. Its valuable time though IMO. Childhood is so much more than just going to school. You have to learn to entertain yourself, to play, to relax, to spend lazy days at the park or jumping in an out of a swimming pool on holiday. Think back to your best childhood memories - I bet they're of things that happened during the holidays or when you were with your family or friends.

jellyjiggles · 23/07/2015 16:12

I'm mixed. 6 weeks is a difficult amount but I think it's either not long enough to get really used to no school. I find just as they're getting into being bored and occupying themselves it's time to go back.

By the 3rd week he's preparing to go back and becoming annoying.

wannabestressfree · 23/07/2015 16:25

Can't wait (teacher) as I am exhausted. My sons are tired and I love the fact we can spend time together and bollocks to the routine...... We also do directed time differently at school so have two weeks at half term in October.
I think older children particularly need it to just...be. I have warned mine though to at least pick up a book as they will hit the ground running in September :)

Millionprammiles · 23/07/2015 16:36

You'll never get consensus on this. The 'swallows and amazons' magical holidays brigade will always clash with the evil money obsessed working parent brigade (insert whatever stereotype you like really).

But what about the minimum wage parents with no family to help and an inflexible employer not remotely interested in granting unpaid leave (even if that were affordable). What happens to those children for 6 weeks?

The problem with the structure of school days and terms isn't about whether it should favour working parents or not. The problem is it re-enforces and promotes inequality.

Other countries (eg Sweden) do more to ensure affordable, quality wrap around and holiday care is available for all. And they haven't had to cut the welfare budget by 40% to achieve that (and their tax rates are comparable with the UK).

Its very easy to think 'not my problem, why should I promote change that doesn't directly benefit me?'.

SirChenjin · 23/07/2015 19:30

Excellent post million

WyrdByrd · 23/07/2015 21:09

I think older children particularly need it to just...be

Totally agree. First day of the holidays for us today and although DD (nearly 11) is quite a strong character, I can already see so much more of her personality than in term time when everything (for all of us) is work, routine, timetables etc.

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