Have IBU re: interest in house

[bydaytisbright]

Our house is on the market and we are looking round houses in a new city. We really liked a house we saw and the agent offered to put us in touch with the sellers. I agreed to be in touch with them but made it clear to the agent and the seller that we could not commit to anything yet as we haven't sold and don't have a buyer, but we were interested in discussing timelines - i.e., that IF we sold, we would be interested in making an offer on the seller's house. . I hoped at the time that meant i could just let them know that if we sold tomorrow, we'd like to buy their house.

DH, a sceptic, got cold feet about giving them any hope of buying their house without money in the bank from a sale this end, so after two weeks of agreeing to meet the sellers, told me to call the meeting off until further notice, which I did.

The sellers are now upset with me and feel used, even though I made it clear to them that we couldn't commit to anything until we sold our house.

Have IBU?

I'm betting that the agent told the sellers that your wanted to meet to make an offer. He's now playing you off against each other and trying to get you to the party by playing on the fact that most people don't like offending someone.

He sounds like a dick, and I wouldn't have any dealings with him.

The only time we ever met house sellers was at a viewing (Scotland) and that's normal - it's not normal to have meetings about offers, timelines etc. as this is all done by negotiation through solicitors (or estate agent) up here.

It doesn't do to get too "buddy buddy" with a seller/buyer as it is a business transaction!

And yes, we have Notes of Interest in Scotland so that the sellers solicitor has to inform you if it's going to closing dates or whatever.

Thinking about it a bit more, I'm inclined to agree with Midnite too. I bet the agent hasn't even told the vendors that you're not in a position to proceed until you get your house under offer. Although why he's done that is beyond me. It's just wasting everyone's time and giving his vendors false hope.

I used to work in admin for an EA and our senior negotiator once had a couple in the same position as you, OP. Saw a house through us, loved it, made an offer but couldn't proceed until their own house was UO. SenNeg duly passed on the offer to our vendors but told them the potential purchasers weren't in a position to proceed as they weren't UO. Vendors said thanks, but they couldn't accept the offer until purchasers were in a proceedable position. Potential purchaser went ballistic - he was an 'old-school' type - "I am a gentleman, my word is my bond, if I say I'll buy the house then I won't renege blah blah blah". SenNeg tried to get him to see the logic. PotPur wouldn't have it. SenNeg tried to get him to see it from his own point of view (if he'd had an offer from an unproceedable purchaser). PotPur still wouldn't have it - and promptly decided to have no more dealings with us. But I'm sure that all of the other agents he was viewing other houses through were saying the same thing to him ...... I wonder whether the penny finally dropped?!

If they are upset it is because the agent had misled them.