MIL as "mum"

[OrdinarySoup]

Afternoon all - hoping for a bit of sage MN advice...
Background - my mum died 3 years ago, and ever since my birthday cards from MIL (on behalf of both IL) are signed from
"Mum and dad". We are not close, and even though I have squared our relationship with myself so I don't drive myself mad every time I see them, this still really REALLY bothers me. It strikes me as massively insensitive at worst, and deluded at best that I would consider them close enough to be called "mum and dad". DH even asked them before the latest card not to sign like this but the request was ignored/ forgotten. On the one hand I think I should just suck it up for 1 card/ year. On the other I feel I'm putting my own feelings second to MILs and that I have every right to ask her not to do this in future. So, AIBU if I ask her to stop and if not, how do I do it tactfully? Sticking up for myself has never been a strong point!

YANBU. My DF died shortly before our wedding. I know MIL meant well by referring to herself as 'Mum' but she's not my mum, I have a lovely mum of my own thanks and FIL who is a twat was never in a million years going to be my Dad.

We got on much better after she stopped doing it after I answered the phone to her a few times:
MIL: It's mum here
Me: Hello MIL's name, I'll get DH for you

The penny eventually dropped.

I think tearing the card up and putting it in the bin is a bit childish, whatever mils motives were.
Whatever way she signs the card is just a word, and you know who your real mum is, so why let it bother you?

Don't buy into it. Just call her by her first name so she knows you would never refer to her as mum, and leave her to sign the card the way she likes.
It's only a problem if you allow yourself to get worked up about it.
She sounds weird doing it after she has been asked not to , so consider her weird and enjoy your bithdays.

screaming skull you describe our relationship to a tee! Sorry for the radio silence - phone died - and thanks again for the replies. I spoke to DH last night and gave him the option of either me writing to her or him talking to her. He chose the latter. We're both starting to enforce our boundaries better with them so hopefully the more we do it the more comfortable we'll be with doing so. Thanks again - good to know I wasn't getting my knickers in a twist over nothing!

if they choose to ignore your request and STILL carry on signing your cards like that......return them back to them via post -each time.