To ask you not to leave it until it's too late.....

[KnappShappey]

to discuss organ donation with your family and next of kin.

New statistics released today show that organ donation has dropped by 5% for the first time in 10 years.....

Only 58% of families allowed organ donation to go ahead despite the wishes of their loved ones.

Don't leave it to your family to struggle with the decision once you have gone, discuss it today........

You can register online and share your decision on Facebook to raise awareness amongst friends.

[MapleTownAndMe]

When our family was in this situation the donor co-ordinator was very professional and compassionate. A lot of time was spent talking us through the process. It is not a free for all where by giving consent means your loved one becomes a piece of meat they can take apart as they please.

No judgement on any family who decides not too. Just a call for more awareness and understanding.

At the time we told a couple of close friends and extended family but unfortunately we received a couple of negative comments so we agreed not to talk about it any further.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Maple - someone gave negative comments on your amazing actions? What on earth sort of people do that?! Especially as I'm assuming that you had lost a loved one, how crass and inconsiderate! for you too.

[KnappShappey]

Well said Mapie

I hate it when people use inflammatory language (like meat and carved up) to justify their view.

I can't believe you had negative comments, what you did was amazing and brave and something that a lot of people clearly feel unable to do. Even if people didn't agree with you, to actually say so to your face is pretty callous.

[theDudesmummy]

I carry a card, my DH knows my wishes only too well and I have actually incorporated it in my will

[MapleTownAndMe]

Thank you thumb and knapp. I suppose they too were in shock, the circumstances were very sudden and they spoke without thinking.
This was 10 years ago, maybe, attitudes have changed since.

[BeyondTheWall]

I carry a card and had already had the conversation with my children about what they would want to do, but thanks for this thread as it occured to me to get them officially put on the register, in case something happens to us all at once. Which i have now done.

[Lioninthesun]

Wales have just six months until they begin their new law whereby you are automatically registered as a donor unless you opt out. www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/six-month-countdown-revolutionary-organ-donor-9362148

[BeyondTheWall]

I've actually been weighing up for a while, getting the two heart picture thing tattooed on my wrist?

[LineRunner]

What's that, Beyond? (Excuse my ignorance on this.)

[Lioninthesun]

This report is quite interesting www.odt.nhs.uk/pdf/the-potential-impact-of-an-opt-out-system-for-organ-donation-in-the-UK.pdf I think the crossover of care for intensive care/critical care practitioners point is an interesting one too.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I suspect Beyond is referring to the logo for the blood transfusion service

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

This one, yes?

[BeyondTheWall]

Ah yes i'd got them muddled up, i meant the heart with the two arrows like on the corner of this page..
www.organdonation.nhs.uk

[LineRunner]

Thanks.

[MissPenelopeLumawoo2]

What if there is more than one next of kin and they can't agree? When my mother died all her children were at her deathbed, and if we had been approached about donating then I know that at least one of my siblings would have refused as it was massively important to them that they were at her side, holding her hand up until the point she took her last breath. Although I would have been ok to allow donation, I would not have over ruled my sibling in a time of such grief.

Also , I have talked to my DH about donation and he is unsure about himself but adamant he would not allow it if it were one of our children, I think for the same reasons as my sibling, and just the raw grief of the loss. Which parent would trump the other one? He has as much right to his beliefs as I do. It is a difficult issue, and i think it is all very well people sitting behind a keyboard and calling others selfish when it is a hypothetical situation for them, if actually faced with the situation then it may be people feel differently. No one can predict how they will feel in the event of such a dreadful situation.

[UnsolvedMystery]

I'd much rather my almost dead body was in control of people who love me instead of being under the control of government legislation and doctors who don't know me or my family from Adam.
But it isn't the state who is making the decision, it is you. You tell the state and your family what your wishes are. Hopefully your family will support your decision but if they choose not to, then the state steps in to ensure your wishes are honoured.
I know that's not how it works, but I wish it was.

[PtolemysNeedle]

In that's situation though, I wouldn't want the state to step in. I'd rather my family did what they felt most comfortable with despite my wanting to be on the register.

I know I wouldn't be there to see it, but when the people I love most are suffering, I'd do almost anything to try and help even just a little bit, and if that meant not being a donor then so be it. They are the ones that would have to live with it, and I'd feel incredibly selfish if in my death I'd done something to make their shock and grief more difficult for them.

[bilbodog]

there are other ways of 'donating' if your body and organs aren't suitable - my father died of Alzheimers and we donated his brain to the brain bank in London. My husband has epilepsy and I don't and we are going to do at least this when we go - researchers all over the world need brains and other organs to work on both from people with illnesses and those without.

[whereismagic]

The main issue is with deciding when somebody can be declared dead. "Dead dead" people (when their heart stopped beating) are no use for the majority of organ donation. They need brain dead people with beating hearts. If you have never been in a position of seeing your relative in coma you simply don't know what it's like and how your decision process might work in this situation. For example, Michael Schumacher would be considered an ideal donor (fit, sporty, relatively young, with extensive brain damage after skiing accident). His family fought tooth and nail to keep him alive and he was discharged after quite a long time in a hospital. We don't know what state he is in but supposedly he is breathing independently. You can debate whether his treatment was morally justified but he is in some living state. At this point scientist don't know enough about persistent vegetative state and brain in general to predict whether people are able to recover and to what extent. It needs to be discussed and publicised enough for people to make an informed decision instead of being told they are selfish that they hope against all hopes.

[MapleTownAndMe]

That is a totally different situation. What a bizarre comparison to make.

[Andro]

I do wonder how many of those who are pro donation and against relative intervention would be happy to uphold someone's wish not to donate their organs if they were approached to make that final decision.

I wouldn't be happy to uphold my son's wishes, but I would still uphold them.

[BeyondTheWall]

I guess it is kind of relevant? The way i see it, people should be making an informed decision (pro-donation here btw, in case you missed my posts), and at the moment few people think about it and some of those who do assume your organs are taken after you are 'dead-dead'.

So then it comes as a shock when someone is asked if their relatives organs can be taken (either as per their wishes or asking the relative because they hadnt specified either way) that it is not after the person 'dies', only after they are brain dead.

[TriJo]

I would want my organs to be donated in the event of my untimely death, and my husband is on the same page there. I'm also on the bone marrow donation register. When I'm gone I'm gone, and if any of me can help others then that's pretty cool.

[Lemonylemon]

"I've never understood why family are able to go against the donor's wishes."

I totally understand why families do it. Before I get flamed, I am on the donor register.

My fiance was on the donor register (which I didn't know until he was hours from death). I was approached by a nurse on the donor team letting me know that my fiance was on the register and would I consent to the donation. I did consent to them taking his organs. At this stage, he had been unconscious for a week, never regaining consciousness after a brain haemorrhage. The utter shock at the events which led up to his death were just about as much as I could take. The terrible grief when death comes is just awful. I was pregnant at the time and had DS to think of too. After he died, one of the doctors asked if they could have some of his brain for research into strokes. I just cried and said that I was sorry, but they'd had enough of him.

I think that if you are on the donor register, then your organs should just be taken as a matter of course without conversations with anyone else. To have to think about someone "hurting" your loved one (which isn't rational, but understandable) just makes things worse, I think.

[PtolemysNeedle]

I think you're spot on Beyondthewall. There is a good reason why relatives refuse to uphold their loved ones wishes to donate, they aren't just going to do it for the sake of it with no thought.

If we had more public information to tell people the reality of organ donation then it would probably happen less.