To take my DC and just run away?

[QuestioningStuff]

Because that's really what I feel like doing. I have DS1 who is 3 and DS2 who is 8 months. It is just us.

I am so down. I cry on and off for most of the day. I hate that my children are being put through this and I have nobody to help. I feel suffocated by where I live. I want to take them and just get on a train somewhere far away and not look back. I really can't see a reason not to right now. Has anyone just left their old life completely behind and it worked?

What ideally would you like to do? Take away your urge to run away and think where would you be if you make it happen?
Running away unless you're moving on with a plan in place is going to put you no where. How do you feel about talking to your health visitor? Do you have a library you can use to source information re studying or employment? Are you part of a parish or church which sometimes offer funding and support for young parents? I really hope things get better for you.

DS1 does go to nursery but only for his 15 hours so he's off for the summer now. I definitely can't afford to send him otherwise.

Realistically I know running away might not be the answer but I'm struggling to think realistically right now because my reality is so shit.

Could you write a list of all the things you don't like about your life then a list of what your life would ideally be like, and see which things seem more easily tackled first? You could try to change things one step at a time, it might also make the reality more bearable, knowing you're working towards your ideal.

OP I felt similar to you, I thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness, that some how we would be placed on a imaginary list of problem families and be subject to constant interventions.

Then I went to a sure start centre and saw that the wealtheir middle class mums hoovering up all the extra help offered. I had attached a meaning that wasn't there, ask your Health Visitor to find a funded placement for both your DC it will give you the break you need to get your head together.

I don't even know who my HV is. I saw her once after I had DS2 and that was it. I don't even have a number for her?

We don't go to church no. I have tried Playgroups but everyone around here are the yummy mummy middle class type. Nothing wrong with that obviously but we don't seem to relate to eachother at all and everyone gives me a wide birth.

Have you got your red book, the number should be on the front few pages, ask to the speak the manager. Be honest tell then you are feeling overwhelmed and need help.

I know what you mean about being judged and given a wide birth, my ringtone is JME -Don't @ me and when my phone went off at stay and play (its usually on silent) one yummy mummy nearly jumped out of her skin.

your gp can put you in touch with your health visitor. It's misery having no one around to talk to or relate to so you need to change that. Stop beating yourself up about your situation, you've taken a huge step already coming on here for advice.

TheXxed that made me laugh. I think I remember you from the Rachel Dolezal thread?

I've called my nan. She lives quite a way away and has told me to bring the kids tonight and stay with her for a while and she'll make lists with me.

Went to see my GP when things got bad after dc2 was born and the first didn't do much but saw another and they have been brilliant. Tried a variety of things (no meds) but I ended up on a specific post-natal depression group, totally mixed bunch of people who still support each other. I think the number of these are increasing.

Re baby group - they might be judging you, or you might not have that much in common so hard to start a discussion. When you are feeling down though it is really hard to work it out. I was F**king useless at baby groups, just couldn't do it, turning up to be ignored wasn't my idea of fun but getting out and about was critical. Staying at home feeling worse and crying your day away is understandable but you need to break this pattern. I found just going for a walk the world felt so much better.

Try speaking to someone like parentline if you can't face the gp yet but please speak to someone.

www.familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline/

Excellent, keep looking forward.

I love JME

Definitely get on to your HV having time away from your DC is the sort of the practical help you need to get started making positive changes.

Oh I'm so glad you're going to your Nan's. Do update when you can.xx

That's good. X

That's good that your nan is so supportive. I hope your time with her helps you plan a way forward.

By the way, I think the beginning of the summer holidays is a tough time for all mothers of preschoolers. Things can only get better!