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Original poster

DS1(9) googling inappropriate images

49 replies

recyclingbag · 20/07/2015 11:39

I caught DS1 on the iPad this morning googling 'naked horse' ShockShock

The images that came up were, as you would expect, a naked women and a horse. All quite White Snake video but still - not what I want him to see.

First he denied it, then he couldn't say why he'd googled that in particular.

How am I supposed to tackle this.

On the one hand, it's probably the same as us looking up rude words in the dictionary when we were 9 but the internet is a crazy scary place!

I have parental controls but not sure how these images got through or how they police it.

Or should I be more worried about his 'niche' interests!

Help!

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 20/07/2015 14:31

Naked Horse Grin

Bless him :)

You have been given great advice. Glad you have sorted out the controls.

middlethird · 20/07/2015 15:25

this subject scares me to the core...

Original poster
recyclingbag · 20/07/2015 16:43

We have discussed. He heard one of the girls in the park use it on Friday and he didn't know what it meant so he googled it. Top marks for enquiring mind but have told him in future, he can always ask Mummy or Daddy rather than the Internet which can give weird answers.

Also discussed fact that girls riding horses naked is not something that you normally come across and he should try to wipe it from his brain.

OP posts:
atticusclaw · 20/07/2015 16:47

How do you set restrictions on the iPad?

Original poster
recyclingbag · 20/07/2015 17:00

Under Settings: General

Then there's a restrictions setting where you set a 4 digit pin.

I thought I'd done that but you also have to go in and set each level individually. I'd just turned on the 'Safari' switch without going in and altering the level.

OP posts:
RoboticSealpup · 20/07/2015 17:25

Middlethird me too. It's the price we pay for the double standard whereby anything goes as long as you're over 18, because sex sells and whatever sells is admirable and good. A society in which Jordan is considered to be a entrepreneur. But, yeah, like, definitely protect the innocent children, or whatever. Until they're 18... It's so messed up.

Original poster
recyclingbag · 20/07/2015 17:53

I talked about Dominic West!

I went along the lines of its perfectly normal to like looking at naked people and the programmes Mummy and Daddy watch quite often have naked people in them.

But when you're a child it's difficult to know what's normal and what's not, and what's nasty and what's OK and the Internet is really the wrong place to work all this out by yourself.

OP posts:
VinoTime · 20/07/2015 18:03

I've disabled the internet on my 8yo DD's tablet and set up lengthy password controls so that she cannot get around them. If she wants a new game installed, she brings the tablet to me and I do it for her. At their age, they shouldn't be on the internet at all without parental supervision - they can stumble across anything, OP.

GallopingFoxley · 20/07/2015 18:06

My 8 year old DS put ' kissing with no clothes on ' into YouTube last week. Apparently a year 6 boy had enlightened him about this and he was very curious.

I've upped settings and had a chat ...

Roomba · 20/07/2015 18:49

'Naked Horse' Grin - bless him. I think you've approached this the right way with him. And you've definitely done the right thing upping your settings.

This has inspired me to check what settings I have in place, and to check everything is restricted as it should be, as I have a 9 year old DS and although he appears all sweet and innocent, I could just imagine him googling something similar of he overheard older kids talking about things. He has a tablet which he uses to watch Minecraft videos, and I have already had to talk to him about which channels are appropriate and which aren't, and I do check what he's been watching (though I do try to always be in the room with him it isn't always possible every second he is watching).

littlejohnnydory · 20/07/2015 19:57

Grin at "naked horse".

I wouldn't tell him off. I'd set the parental controls as high as they can be whilst using it as an opportunity to talk about safety online, peer pressure and being able to come to us with questions, etc etc.

Doesn't sound as though he was deliberately looking up pornographic images. Sounds more like he heard something he didn't understand and tried to look it up.

Quasicrystals1456 · 20/07/2015 20:04

Yes I learnt the hard way about this too.

I did what vinotime did, but my 7yo is very curious. About everything.

it's so frightening what you're one click away from.

No unsupervised Internet for her now.

catsrus · 20/07/2015 20:09

Good for him for looking up something he didn't understand - and roflmao at 'naked horse' Grin.

I'm a computer scientist and my DC were that age when the Internet was only young - my decision was no parental controls but Internet access only in downstairs rooms - wired not wireless - this meant that every dodgy search was seen by an adult - usually accompanied by "muuuuuuummmmmm help".

If my DC were that age now then I would password protect my iPad etc and they would only access under supervision. Parental controls are no substitute for talking the issues through with them - you seem to have a good relationship with your ds, I would rely on that not the technology. I've known some parents rely too heavily on filters and controls and have not talked through some tough stuff with their DC. I don't think you're like that!

littlejohnnydory · 20/07/2015 21:01

I think you dealt with it perfectly.

Bambooshoots14 · 20/07/2015 21:07

This reply has been deleted

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HedgehogAtHome · 20/07/2015 21:11

Thanks for that Bamboo. Hmm

OP had porn blocked but not nudity so won't have had such graphic results. Are bestiality images illegal in the uk?

Siolence · 20/07/2015 21:11

Bambooshoots14 I've reported that. Utterly vile and no one needs to see it.

Idefix · 20/07/2015 21:34

Oh dear op this has cheered me up and reminded of the time my ds and his friend looked up boobies - they were a similar age, we had all the usual security settings. I found the search when doing a routine check on the history.

I know of an instance in a school where yr 5 children were doing a project that involved string, internet research returned some very interesting results/images...Shock

Not at all what the teacher expected.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 20/07/2015 21:34

He might have heard the expression "Hung like a horse" and wanted to see for himself. Very normal.

Bambooshoots14 · 21/07/2015 07:16

Oops sorry, bad judgement on my part Blush

Eva50 · 21/07/2015 07:52

Actually OP, whilst a bit of a shock for you, this is no bad thing. It has given you a chance to get "ahead of the game" and be aware of what he's hearing from other children. I know he says he "heard it in the park" but I do wonder (as the mother of 3 boys) if this wasn't the topic if a conversation at the party he was at.

Ds1, now 19, was given the names of porn sites by some more knowledgeable boys when he started secondary school. He accessed one of them on his PSP. It certainly made us aware of how easy it is and also how other parents have very different standards in what they allow their children to do. You may be able to set controls at home but he could still access inappropriate sites, films etc at friends houses.

We took the opportunity to discuss with ds the dangers of accessing these things. Ie. The trouble we could get into if inappropriate sites were found on our I.P. address and the implications for the children in the house especially his little brother who was a baby at the time and we have continued to discuss this in an age appropriate way with them all.

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 21/07/2015 08:09

Both our children's laptops are locked down which means they can only access certain websites ie bbc bitesize/school VLE/mathletics/mymaths etc

If they try for any website not on the "list" it tells them they do not have permission and would they like to ask for permission, it then gives them the option of saying my parent is here or it will email a parent (assume that is for older teens who are left at home) My boys are 12 and 9.

Whenever Ds1 has homework that involves research (he is year 7) I either have to sit next to him to put a password in for every single site he wants to visit or we just use my chromebook but I am always there.

The internet is an adult playground and children need to be supervised. These incidents can lead to a very good open door policy with children to talk about anything they ask about. If you dodge their questions, there will always be a friend with a phone and full internet access.

Ds1 being in year 7 has been an eye opener in terms of language he is exposed to, plus such lovely words as fisting. It is horrific but he knows he can ask me anything and I will tell him the truth so he is informed.

We had an interesting discussion following two 12 years old from his school who are having sex, the boy is treated like a God and the girl, you guessed it, a whore. We talked about the inequality of it, they both did the same thing and yet are treated very differently.

RoboticSealpup · 21/07/2015 08:25

Two twelve year olds who are having sex

Shock That's it, I'm home schooling my daughter and keeping her indoors in a box of cotton wool until she's 18. Sad

Original poster
recyclingbag · 21/07/2015 08:39

There were people in my school having sex at 12. In fact my first boyfriend at 13 had. Our relationship was very short lived as I had never even kissed anyone. After one slow dance and two phone calls I decided I was out of my depth Grin.

I would never have talked to anyone about it though - just had to work it all out by myself. Sad

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