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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make a 3+hour journey on Christmas day (I know Iabu for mentioning Christmas in July so don't read if this angers you!)

76 replies

Drivinghomeforchristmasornot · 19/07/2015 18:27

Have been invited to a relatives for Christmas. Would like to go and see family but kids would rather wake up in our house on Christmas day.

Dh and I agree that it could feel a bit flat to just have us and kids for the rest of the day though (we usually spend it with relatives)

So I have suggested that after early mornjng stocking opening, a bit of breakfast and a few bigger presents we could get in the car (ready packed) at about 10am with a couple of DVDs and hot chocolates and Hopefully be with relatives in time for lunch at about 1.

My thinking is that the roads will be quiet, kids can have a bit of downtime before an exciting couple of days and we get the best of both worlds of waking up at home but seeing family.

Concerns are that they won't get much time to actually play with new toys, I guess there could be unforeseen travel delays and it just seems a bit wrong to spend 3+ hours of christmas day in the car.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Original poster

Drivinghomeforchristmasornot · 19/07/2015 19:37

Oh no-agrin and caleb had just about convinced me to go for it but useful to have your opinion from the child's point of view jelly

OP posts:

littlejohnnydory · 19/07/2015 19:41

It sounds rubbish to me but if you and the kids are happy with it then it's up to you. My first thought was that it's really unfair for dc to spend 3 hours of Christmas day in the car. I'd love to have the day just for us though so if it were me I'd go to family on boxing day. I would much prefer to go away for the whole time than travel on the day, so go beforehand - but it's what your dc prefer that matters.

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2015 19:53

Well, on the one hand it's 3 hours in the car, but on the other they can sit in the back with a duvet around them and watch two DVDs (perhaps Christmas presents?) and then they'll be there. And that three hours would be the time you'd be in the kitchen.

AboutTimeIChangedMyNameAgain · 19/07/2015 19:56

We've done Christmas's with just me, dh and ds and it was lovely. Not flat at all.

BlackeyedSusan · 19/07/2015 19:57

why is it "flat" with four of you? did you both have big family christmases when young?

Hassled · 19/07/2015 20:01

If you're used to big chaotic family Christmasses then just immediate family does feel really weird and a bit anti-climactic. I can't deal with it at all.

But I still wouldn't do the 3 hours in a car on Christmas Day thing. Is opening the stockings at home really that big a deal?

landrover · 19/07/2015 20:27

Very sad that you think it would be "flat" with just your family!!!

CassieBearRawr · 19/07/2015 20:29

Children don't dictate decisions in this family so I would do whichever I (or rather, me and my partner) thought best. If you're happy driving on Christmas then do it, if you feel it would be too much faff then go Christmas Eve and stay over. Really I would be looking at which was logistically the best option.

gatorgolf · 19/07/2015 20:47

Driving Christmas day is great especially on motorways as the roads are empty

trixymalixy · 19/07/2015 20:55

We do this when we go to DH's family for Christmas dinner and it works really well. It saves having to fit all the presents in the car and it's much nicer opening presents at home.

Runningupthathill82 · 19/07/2015 20:56

I thought this was what everyone did on Christmas day, especially with divided families etc - surprised to hear so many people don't.
Works really well for us, has done for last decade or so.

Mashtag · 19/07/2015 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callmegeoff · 19/07/2015 21:07

One Christmas I worked a nightshift Christmas Eve, Dh and the dc's collected me at 0800 and we drove from Portsmouth to Edinburgh, arrived in time for tea. Dc's had their presents Boxing Day, the in laws were delighted to see us. The Dc's still talk about what a great time we had and the roads were quiet. I was surprised to see services open, I would do it again in a heart beat!

Rathalie · 19/07/2015 21:14

We did this last year because DH's night shift finished Christmas morning. Five hour drive to Cornwall, followed by family presents, Christmas dinner in the evening and then bed. Worked fine - roads v quiet. Some service stations were open, but only for loos, so we took flasks of coffee etc for the drive. Wouldn't suit everyone but DH has worked most Christmas Days since 1999, so we're used to Christmas being mucked about with and don't get too precious about it.

Clutterbugsmum · 19/07/2015 21:21

My parents would do this when we were children and we hated it. We hated getting to open our presents and then not be able to play with them.

I refuse to do it to my children so we have christmas day at home (my mum comes as she lives around the corner). And we visit on boxing day.

Luciferbox · 19/07/2015 21:24

We've often travelled 3-4 hrs to see both sides of the family on Christmas day and traffic is very light. We normally put some Christmas songs on and the DC sleep. It can be a pita to get petrol as a lot of garages will be shut.

Gatehouse77 · 19/07/2015 21:26

We did similar with ours at those ages but it was half that travelling time. I'd consider doing further if they were good travellers - they're likely to nap on the way and be able to enjoy the afternoon and excitement.

Go for it!

Maryz · 19/07/2015 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

watchingthedetectives · 19/07/2015 21:28

I think this will be absolutely fine - kids can have a snooze in the car and you will arrive to the lunch almost made!

mandy214 · 19/07/2015 21:33

We've done a mixture. It's about how you handle it and whether as others are suggesting how you prevent children think it's part of the day wasted. Things like sitting in the back with the children, playing games on the way, Father Christmas leaving extra presents 'by accident' at Grandma's or wherever. I don't think 3 hours is too much, have never found roads to be busy on Christmas Day.

reddaisy · 19/07/2015 21:33

Our DCs are the same age and we have done this a couple of times and it isn't ideal but it works. I haven't RTFT but one of the reasons we do it is because the relatives we visit are very wealthy and we are not so it is easier to do the presents separately while they still believe in Father Christmas. We let them stay up v late once we are there too so they feel they get a full Christmas Day and I always buy them something for their stockings that they can take with them.

Blu · 19/07/2015 21:33

They won't do it every year, will they ? Stocking at home, dinner with a family gang (and you don't have the logistics and bulk of the work) .
If they just don't know what it is like to have a stocking elsewhere but will be happy when it happens, go up Xmas eve.

Fishlaar · 19/07/2015 21:57

I wouldn't do it, but then we've always spent Christmas Day on our own and seen family on Boxing Day. That way we have a relaxed Christmas Day with no pressures or expectations from other family members, and when our two were younger lots of time to spend with them and their new toys. It also gives us something to look forward to on Boxing Day which becomes a second Christmas Day (but without all the fuss of cooking dinner).

BlueStarsAtNight · 19/07/2015 22:22

We had this debate last year, though DC were younger than yours. I wanted stockings at home, and DH didn't want to drive on Christmas Day, and family (3hrs away) didn't want to come to us as they're set in their ways. So we ended up with a fairly quiet one at home. This year we'll have the same debate! I can't see the problem with driving, specially if you have DVD players in the car and there's some new toys they can take. It's likely to be a long day anyway so the downtime is probably a good thing.

AmberFool · 19/07/2015 22:23

Can you not go up on Christmas Eve, after tea? That way dc fall fast asleep on the road and there's no moaning and you and DH can have a conversation. Tbh we have done both Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day journeys and prefer the former because Christmas Day the roads are surprisingly busy and dc find the 2.5 hour journey quite hard.

Oh, and I totally get why you would want to spend Christmas Day with the relatives. That's what we do.

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