To not provide meals for guests?

[Koalafications]

DD is 6 weeks old and we have visitors arranged every weekend until mid September (I feel tired just thinking about that!)

I'm more than happy for people to come and see her, I just don't want to provide meals to everyone who comes. It's not just the time it takes to make a meal with a little baby it's also the expense of providing food for an extra 2-6 people every weekend.

DH thinks it's rude to have guests and not cook for them (he would be happy to do it, I would rather be helped with DD or tidied up).

I think tea/coffee and cakes is sufficient.

So IABU to not provide meals?

If its afternoon no need for a meal. I would be horrified if a new mum cooked for me!

Congratulations

Tea and cakes is fine.

When I've visited people with small babies if falling over lunch time I've done a quick detour to m&s food and taken bread/salads etc.

Aww, good on DH then .

I think vistors should bring food for the new mum! Seriously tea and cake are more than enough! Congrats!

A few hours in the afternoon - they bring cake, you provide tea (cups of, not the meal) to go with the cake.

Any leftover cake stays with you.

It probably depends on how far away they live e.g. if they've had a 3 hour drive to get to you then I would assume they'll be hungry when they get there and lay on a substantial meal. Otoh if they're only 5 minutes away then tea/coffee and cake is fine.

Surely they will bring stuff with them? I wouldn't dream of visiting a new mum without bringing cake or biscuits

I have a 4 week old baby. So far all visitors have either not come at meal times, brought food with them for us all to share or we've ordered a takeaway.

All I've had to do is put the kettle on and open the biscuit tin/ transfer brought food to plates.

I wouldn't dream of visiting a new mum and expecting to be catered, other than a cup of tea, which I'm happy to make for us both! Get your DH to provide these meals if he's so bothered.

No you don't have to make meals. Just say "It'll be lovely to see you for tea and cake at around 2" and leave it there. As long as everyone knows what to expect it's completely fair.

FWIW I would never dream of expecting a couple with a newborn to provide a meal for me, and would probably bake them something to eat later.

I think it depends on how far people are coming. If they are local then tea and coffee and cake are fine. If they have travelled for hours then you have to feed them. IMHO. If your DH has arranged it he can sort out the cooking. Good idea to have everyone on one day and provide buffet lunch.

OMG. Your DH is being vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv U inviting people over every bloody weekend til September when you have a 6 week old. WTF. Does he work? If he works Mon-Fri then the only time you get together as a family is at the weekend (and when you can get a bit of a break) - you can't do that if you have visitors every weekend.

Visitors after a new baby - I wouldn't offer anything. Buy a few packs of biscuits and point your visitors towards the kettle and they can sort themselves out.

And if they expect lunch they can take a hike!! You've a new baby, you have enough to be doing!

With a little baby yanbu.

Make sure the guests understand they are coming for 'tea' rather than a meal, and provide drinks and a cake (bought from the supermarket to make things easy).

I agree, tea and cakes is more than sufficient.

However if DH is doing the cooking and is prepared to clean/cook every weekend on top of doing all night feeds.... it seems unreasonable to not 'allow' him to cook for his guests to be honest. I would be more pissed off at the constant stream of guests than what refreshments DH is providing.

I am curious though - you said you would rather that DH help more with DD or around the house than host these guests - you then go on and say he cleans the whole house at the weekend and does every single night feed. What more do you want him to do?

I've just thought OP, you need one of those websites entitled types people set up, where they require their family and friends to feed them for a few months just because they have had a baby and they put up long lists of likes/dislikes/instructions for what supermarket brands are/are not acceptable.

If all your guests knew they had to come armed with 2 ready made nutritious meals for your freezer, it might put some of them off coming

I think tea and cakes is fine!
I would assume guests visiting wouldn't come at meal times anyway (I wouldn't unless asked to come round for food).
As PPs say just make sure they know it's tea and cakes!

Yanbu. For the first few months after dd was born, anyone who viewed brought meals for us to eat!

Kettle on biscuits on plate job done if they want a second cup they know where the kitchen is

I am curious though - you said you would rather that DH help more with DD or around the house than host these guests - you then go on and say he cleans the whole house at the weekend and does every single night feed. What more do you want him to do?

No, what I meant by that was that I would rather have DH spending time with DD/helping me with her than cooking for people who are coming to visit.

I really don't think your visitors will be expecting meals, so NU at all to not want to provide them, but is your DH someone who just enjoys catering for visitors? If he does (rather than thinking he has to do it) then it's a difficult one because it's not really for you to tell him that he can't do it.

PHANTOMnamechanger I couldn't cope with one of those websites, the inner hostess in me is already disgusted that I'm not providing meals to everyone who comes to visit! There's no way I could accept people cooking for me in my house.

fastday we both love to cater for guests, I suppose I'm just a bit more practical than DH. I would rather not put ourselves under that pressure to get ourselves and DD ready, tidy the house and then also get food ready for people coming. It is just really stressful.