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AIBU?

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Original poster

To stop my DD playing with this other girl?

41 replies

Kasterborous · 19/07/2015 12:30

I was at the park with my three year old DD. This other girl who is five was there too, DD usually plays with her when she is there. They play well together, then this other girl spat in my face when they were on the swings. In hindsight I think she was just being silly but I saw red. I told this girl it wasn't a nice thing to do and she was grinning at me so I told her it wasn't funny and said to DD to come away from her. This other girl sulked maybe I shouldn't have taken DD away.

OP posts:
SparklingCallisto · 19/07/2015 14:56

Honestly, if I was in the park and met a child of 5 years old there with no responsible adult or significantly older child accompanying her, I would call the police to express my concern for her welfare.

My daughter is 5, nearly six. It is far too young to be out in a public place with no supervision.

AyMamita · 19/07/2015 15:08

No parents around? I'd have smacked her

morelikeguidelines · 19/07/2015 15:15

Really shocked that a 5 year old goes to the park alone. I assume her house does not face onto the park or something a bit mitigating?

I would have done the same. You did well. It would have been the smirking rather than saying sorry that would have got me.

StayWithMe · 19/07/2015 15:16

AyMamita

Please tell me you're joking! From the sounds of things this child is being neglected and you want to smack her? Ffs

AuntyMag10 · 19/07/2015 15:17

Horrible child to do that. I would have told her off properly!

Purplepoodle · 19/07/2015 17:20

You did the right thing (my 6 year old grins like a maniac when being told off - worse the incident the bigger the smile, it's a nervous reaction).

Just let it go now and if you see her in the park again just act like you always have and left ds play with her.

Purplepoodle · 19/07/2015 17:21

You showed her that her behaviour was unacceptable by telling her and removing dd

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/07/2015 17:52

SockAmnesty - even if she did think it was something funny, give the reaction from the OP then she soon would have learnt it wasn't acceptable ! I would have done the same thing

So would I its a perfectly appropriate response. My comment was directed at replies to the op using words like horrific, because it's not.

A 5yo should know that spitting is gross and considered to be an assault ect but many will not,many will not understand about other people's mouths being quite yucky to others many will not have made the link between spitting and body fluids,many will have no comprehension that it's considered to be a violent action because to 5yo's who have not had these things taught to them is in all likelihood viewing it as amusingly getting someone with water from your mouth.

That's not to say that it's unacceptable to react to it because some one has to let them know it's unacceptable but there is no point being all dramatic about it.

Horrific would be if said 5yo announced beforehand "fuck off you cunt I hope you die of (insert spit transmitted virus)" then spat then did a evil super villain laugh

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/07/2015 17:54

Horrible child to do that. I would have told her off properly

She's 5 not a flaming axe murderer

Lurkedforever1 · 20/07/2015 00:25

FFS she didn't pull out her cosh and start twatting you.
She's 5, at a park unattended, and spat at you through what you admit was silliness and grinned when you told her off. You didn't consider that maybe she doesn't know any better? And your response was to act like a spiteful 5yr old and stomp off with your dd.
yabvu and behaved far worse and more childishly than she did.

Original poster
Kasterborous · 20/07/2015 12:28

Lurked yes I did overreact and should have handled it better. It was a very instant reaction on my part to the fact she had spat in my face. Even though I overreacted still doesn't detract from the fact that she spat in my face i had to say something. I admit I was cross which is why I took DD away. Spit is spit in your face through silliness or otherwise.

OP posts:
fleecyjumper · 20/07/2015 12:49

It was fine to be cross and tell her off for spittingspitting at you otherwise she won't know it's a disgusting thing to do. I think your child could still play with her as she might not do it again now she knows it is wrong. If she does do it again then stop playing. Grinning is a stress reaction - fight, flight or grin.

Lurkedforever1 · 20/07/2015 12:55

Yes but she's 5, and either was being silly like any kids can be, or has been brought up thinking its ok. Either way it wasn't malicious and designed to teach you a lesson which is what your behaviour was. And temper isn't a reasonable excuse for an adult to be nasty to a child.
To reverse it how would you like it if your 3yr old dd as a one off pushed infront of a 2yr old she was taken with and the parent reacted like you did? Would you think she deserved it because pushing isn't ok? Or that you didn't mind dd being blamed for your lack of supervision?

Original poster
Kasterborous · 22/07/2015 16:22

Me and DD went to the park this aft and this girl was there. They played together and I said to the girl I was sorry if I upset her and why I had said what I did and she was fine. Then the poor mite fell of a small wall she was walking along and banged her head, so I picked her up made sure she was okay and took her home. She doesn't live too far from the park you would be able to see her from the upstairs window of her house. I didn't go in to her house or anything I just wanted to make sure she got there okay.

OP posts:
SycamoreMum · 22/07/2015 16:31

Kaster thats nice of you. There all sorted now. Smile

LurkedForever - UnclenchWine

Lurkedforever1 · 22/07/2015 16:48

Glad it's now sorted op.
I'm massively impressed with your clever put down sycamore, have a Star for your wonderful wit. But don't give up the day job

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