Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Friend Borrowed Something and Broke It

32 replies

TheChandler · 18/07/2015 22:24

Thoughts please. Lent something valuable to a friend and due to carelessness, hurrying and not following instructions, she broke part of it.

She got it fixed, but it was a cheap fix (welded) and it broke again. Told her this politely and she is not showing willing to get it properly fixed and seems to think its due to the item being worn or having a fault. (it isn't, its very well made and not at all old, the part wouldn't have broken if it hadn't been bent back and pushed into the wrong position).

Feel really awkward, and also very aggrieved, as I've been spending time trying to find out where I can get it fixed or a replacement part. Without success. Its a real headache for me and could cost a couple of hundred at least if I ever find somewhere willing to do it. I've had to measure and re-measure all its angles, email them off, search the internet and so on. Friend has done nothing and is avoiding me. A relatively new friend but part of the same friendship group.

OP posts:

CrapBag · 18/07/2015 22:28

She is avoiding you because she knows she is in the wrong and doesn't want to cough up.

I think it's unlikely she will hand the money over even if you do manage to find someone to fix it. I'd never lend her anything again, never lend something of value and I wouldn't pursue a close friendship with someone who thinks this is an acceptable way to treat something that has been leant to them.

MargoReadbetter · 18/07/2015 22:28

This is very awkward. As she's a new friend I can see this friendship not going any further and mutual distrust from now on.

Lesson learnt both sides.

Penfold007 · 18/07/2015 22:28

I never lend anything that's so valuable that either I couldn't bear to loose it or it's not insured. Think a friendship may be over.

whothehellknows · 18/07/2015 22:29

Sounds like the friendship is done.

itsmeitscathy · 18/07/2015 22:30

I guess it's the risk uou take when you lend something. people never treat others belongings as well as they would their own. I think you need yo write this one off I'm afraid

itsmeitscathy · 18/07/2015 22:30

abd yes, no longer a friend.

MargoReadbetter · 18/07/2015 22:30

(Things going through my head: camera, Satnav, telescope.)

workingdilemma · 18/07/2015 22:31

Write it off, buy a new one and sell the old one for parts if feasible, as it sounds like it's a real hassle to fix. Ask for the full replacement cost if you wish, but I doubt you'll get anywhere. Obviously never lend this person anything again.

Original poster

TheChandler · 18/07/2015 22:36

I can't buy another one. It was specially made, the manufacturer has stopped making it and won't make another one as a one off. I was prepared to write it off but I can't actually get it fixed at all. I think it might be possible to get an engineer to specially manufacture something from steel (which would be heavier than the alloy its made from) but I have no idea where to go about looking. Its a huge hassle.

I can still use it but its a bit dangerous as there is one sharp jagged end now and the one end that remains is overloaded and likely to break.

I literally am at a loss to know what to do with it. Its part of an attachment for a vehicle.

OP posts:

MargoReadbetter · 18/07/2015 22:41

You'll have to write it off, sounds like a lot of hassle. Small claims court if you can stand the hassle and social death to follow.

DoreenLethal · 19/07/2015 04:05

Wha sort of attachment for a vehicle is such a state secret?

Original poster

TheChandler · 19/07/2015 04:22

Eh? Its a detachable towbar.

OP posts:

Concordial · 19/07/2015 05:10

Write both the towbar and the friendship off.
As workingdilemma says, try and recoup some money from parts if it's that valuable. Buy another and don't lend it out.

somemothersdohavethem · 19/07/2015 11:54

Yanbu it winds me up that people are so careless with other people's belongings

LazyLouLou · 19/07/2015 12:05

Have a look in your local yellow pages/listings and look for Metal Fabricators. If you find a small, local one they are quite likely to make/repair one for you. BIL works in one and they always get small jobs from 'walk ins'. They usually give it to the machinist who most needs a bit of overtime.

As for the 'friend' tell her plainly what you think of her and then totally ignore her. You have no need to be particularly pleasant to someone who treats you like that!

Original poster

TheChandler · 19/07/2015 12:15

Manufacturer's/main dealer price for a new one fitted is £1700! Ex market would be at least £700.

Its so bloody irritating. I was there when they broke it, I had taken it out of my boot for them and while I tidied up my car they picked it up and started trying to fit it onto their car. I called out "if you wait a moment, I'll show you how to do it as I don't want it damaged". They ignored me and when I walked over a piece was lying on the ground.

I said "Whats that?" and they professed not to have noticed, then said it must have been broken anyway. Err, no I said. Now she seems to think she's doing me a favour, looking into fixing my broken towbar. I sent her a message last week asking if she was going to at least help look around for somewhere to fix it and she told me she would have more time to look into it in August, once she's back from holiday!

I have already spent several hours phoning around and the prospect of doing so next week or dropping off the bloody thing at yet another garage for them to look at it fills me with angst.

I am prepared to write it off, but not without tearing a strip off her.

OP posts:

DawnOfTheDoggers · 19/07/2015 12:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peshwari · 19/07/2015 12:35

Hmm, think I'd be slightly more concerned that something so safety critical could be so easily broken

Original poster

TheChandler · 19/07/2015 12:38

I don't think many things could stand up to having a car reversed into them clumsily!

OP posts:

Peshwari · 19/07/2015 12:47

Ah ok, that seems at odds with your friend trying to say it was worn/faulty. Not sure how they could run over something with a car and then try and claim damage was not related, they'd def be unreasonable to try and avoid responsibility in that situation.

Penfold007 · 19/07/2015 13:04

Now your saying your friend ran the tow bar over with her vehicle and broke it? Simple claim off her car insurance.

HedgehogAtHome · 19/07/2015 13:44

So she was trying to fit it onto her car while it was reversed over? Is your pal ok?

If she ran over it claim off her car insurance.

CalmYourselfTubbs · 19/07/2015 13:47

could you go to the small claims court with this?

Methe · 19/07/2015 13:55

I wouldn't be happy towing with a device a person could break in 5 minutes. It sounds positively dangerous to start with!

bigbumtheory · 19/07/2015 21:21

YNBU. I would tell her you are not happy, she has damaged your property and it cannot be repaired. You expect her to replace it or pay towards a new one.

But I doubt she'll give two shinies so I'd consider the friendship over.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread