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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is closer to the truth about school holidays than we like to admit...

122 replies

Ubik1 · 17/07/2015 17:25

The Daily Mash kids looking forward to a carefree summer being a massive burden

I work ft and already my three have spent a week at 'Mrs Hannigan's cut-price boot camp.'

I'm lucky to have some limited family help and dp
Is self employed so flexible- but Swallows and Amazons it ain't.

What do other people do for childcare for six weeks?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ubik1 · 17/07/2015 18:53

The cost of these summer camps is astonishing.

When I was a kid, my primary school was open throughout the summer for 'playcentre'

One of my pals used to spend her summers sitting in her mum's launderette eating biscuits.

OP posts:
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 17/07/2015 18:57

Envy of everyone with GPs (though relieved when I get onto the PIL threads). We pay a small fortune to a childminder, and take leave. This is a big part of why we are looking into having an Au Pair in future.

jamaisdeux · 17/07/2015 18:58

I'm feeling so much better reading these accounts of summer holidays.

It is indeed, a nightmare.

HerRoyalNotness · 17/07/2015 19:01

I have 3 mths to fill! Last year when I was working DS1 was In Summer camp for the majority. We had 1 week driving trip away as a family as all we could afford. 250-275uSD per week for camp. ds2 carried on at preschool with a more fun summer program. This year Im out of work, had 3 weeks to UK seaside, now dossing at home by the pool, do meetups weekly with expat friends, DS1 going to 1.5wks of camp for a change in August (all we could afford this year). Yet to find something for DS2, will probably take him to swim lessons while his DB is at camp. No family around to help out. I'd love to pack them off to grandparents for 3mths but I'm afraid it would be v.v. boring for them.

meglet · 17/07/2015 19:05

luckily I only work 3 days a week so it's not too daunting.

2 days with grandma - lots of visits to M&S cafe and pottering around.

1 day a week at holiday childcare activity club.

then the other 4 days with me climbing the walls because I can't get to the gym all summer.

HamishBamish · 17/07/2015 19:06

My DC get nearly 9 weeks, it's a nightmare. This year we've both taken 1 week off independently, we're on holiday all together for 2, our PIL are taking them for a total of 3 weeks (not in succession) and my mum has been up for 2.

They've had a couple of days here and there in holiday club, just to give people a break and I work part-time so it's not full weeks we're covering. However, it's a pretty long period of time. I also feel that the short holidays (half term and Christmas etc) are really important and they need to have that time at home to re-charge their batteries. So, we have those to cover too.

I don't know about the Swallows and Amazons thing. I remember being quite bored during my school holidays and my mother was a SAHM.

treesntrees · 17/07/2015 19:08

My forties childhood holidays were mainly spent roaming about with our gang of six. Only two of us had a SAHM, two stayed with Gramps and two stayed on their own and had to prepare the evening meal for their war widow mother who had to work full time to keep them. The two who stayed with Gramps also had a war widow mother who worked full time. I also had a school friend who had a war widow mum so I guess the same applied. There must have been many families in the same situation in those days but it was much more acceptable then for children to take responsibility for themselves than it is now.

dixiechick1975 · 17/07/2015 19:09

2 weeks with me, 1 at grandma's (seaside) 1 at dance summer school (good deal at £55 for the week 8.30-3.30) 1 week ballet school and 3 part weeks at school summer camp plus childcare swap with another parent. Pay for school camp with child care vouchers saved all year. Book camps early and pay then do not a big bill in August. Dd is used to it 5th summer of this regime. Next year when she is 10 she will go away to a pgl type place for a week too.

Wondering already about when she is secondary age - 12 is still young to leave alone all day but childcare seems to stop.

HandMini · 17/07/2015 19:12

Au Pair steps up her hours for holidays. At a cost. But it's good for continuity and means they get plenty of time chilling at home as well as outings. I'll be trying to take 2 weeks off next year (tho can't this summer).

jellyandsoup · 17/07/2015 19:32

This is where my job works really well.r as a nanny I am able to take my children with me and we have lots of fun with the children I look after. They do bicker a lot tho as the holidays go on.

Original poster
Ubik1 · 17/07/2015 19:56

With 3 the cost of summer care really adds up.

I'm going to get them into some single days - trampolining or gym.

I wish they could just play out with their pals all summer but everyone seems to go away for weeks and we are in a city so no garden.

OP posts:
SocksRock · 17/07/2015 20:04

Last year with 3 of them I spent more than I earnt on childcare, I had an actual colour coded spreadsheet showing which child was where on what day.

I cracked under the pressure of 3 kids and a high pressure job in October and am now SAHM, I feel for all of you.

JohnCusacksWife · 17/07/2015 20:07

We're v lucky as I only work pt so only have to cover 3 days per week, my DH is self employed and works from home and my parents live close by and help out.

We have 7 weeks to cover - I time 3 weeks leave, 2 wks at the start and 1 wk at the end, and for the other weeks my parents have them 1 or 2 days and my DH does the rest.

I know not everyone is as lucky as us but we did plan ahead and schools hols were one big reason why we've made the decisions re work/working from home/self employment etc that we have.

sootballs · 17/07/2015 20:19

I was born late seventies and remember our summer holidays vividly. From the age of 8 (sibling was 4?) my mum did summer school lecturing and dad was FT anyway. So we had a succession of nannies. They were a bloody good laugh, and the ones with driving licences took us all over the place to parks and to visit their friends. Was fun. We'd have a family holiday of a week or maybe two at the beginning, then a nanny, and a big day out in the last week. But we mainly stayed home with the nanny, did drawing and painting, no TV, no grandparents, played games, built dens in the garden, fed the ducks at the Staithe.

Juggling the holidays will be my nightmare from next year. I have to decide whether I stay at 2-3 days PT and juggle and swap days with friends in a similar boat or do what my parents did, work FT and hire a nanny/au pair for 4 weeks.

Charley50 · 17/07/2015 20:26

I was born in 1970. We had a lido nearby. By the age of 9-10 we were going on our own with friends to the lido every day in the summer. Or else we played out in the street. Parents were vaguely around tho... Worked part time or drunk sahm.

PullTheBricksDown · 17/07/2015 20:38

Another one here who went to grandparents every day. I remember cricket and Pebble Mill on TV and playing with my toys behind the sofa. Now, DS goes to holiday club around 3 days in each week and DH and I each take one of the other days off or work flexibly to cover the hours and have him. Sometimes we both do and have a family day out. MIL covers a week too which is appreciated. Helps that our holiday club is good and reasonably priced.

80sMum · 17/07/2015 20:39

I think it's high time that school terms were revised. The long holiday in the summer is no longer appropriate now that the norm is for both parents to be working.
Perhaps there should be shorter holidays, but more of them, so the 12 weeks were taken in, for example, six two-week breaks spread evenly throughout the year.
There's actually an argument for longer holidays in the winter, as it would save money on school heating bills!

GGabcd · 17/07/2015 20:47

NI here so 9 weeks.

2 weeks: family holiday. We head back home today, in fact.

1 week recovery from holiday (we are in the U.S. so jet lag)

1 week child is in camp

4 weeks doing whatever. We'll go swimming, to the park, to best mate's house etc

I freelance so can work around child being odd school. Spouse goes back to work next Tuesday but has a fairly flexible schedule.

SirChenjin · 17/07/2015 20:51

This year I have a combination of the following - the teen DCs are 'looking after' the 8 year old while I try not to think about the amount of TV and Minecraft he's no doubt watching while they ignore him; DH and I are taking A/L; the 8 year old is at the holiday club run by the after school club (not quite sure what he's doing but it's proper childcare so it's ok); SIL/BIL are taking all 3 of them for a few days; the teens are lying about the house recuperating after a few weeks at school since their last break.

It's all a bit benign neglect really.

Dynomite · 17/07/2015 20:54

I grew up in a different country and we had 3 months of summer holiday!!! Loved every second of it :) Largely spent doing nothing on my own around the house/pawned off to friends and family/lots of summer camps :)

SirChenjin · 17/07/2015 20:56

80smum - absolutely agree. I would even go so far as to say I think they get far too many holidays and I would happily have less, but I know that's not a popular view. Definitely needs an overhaul though - and proper/better/consistent holiday childcare in recognition of the fact that most parents do work now.

knackered69 · 17/07/2015 20:57

I have 2 weeks off - ex dh has 2 weeks off, one of our weeks overlaps due to other workers commitments, so we are covered for 3 weeks.

Dc are 17 and 12. For the other 3 weeks I will go in at weekends when they are with their dad, get done a morass of paper /computer work so that I can go in during the week quite early, see patients and be back by after lunch. My job is fairly flexible apart from patient contact, and I work more hours than I should at the moment because we are a person short in my team, but equally I can do some work at home and it's flexible.

Does this sound awful? I am taking the boys away, and ex- dh is taking the boys away, but that week where we overlap I am going away on my own cos the boys are with their dad?

Ive had such a crap time recently - my mum died in September and my sister died in April, and I had 3 days off for each and had to sort out terminal care, social services, housing, social services, funerals,the house and probate... And they lived 200 miles away - I really miss them . .

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 17/07/2015 21:04

Dd (5) got really upset about the idea of school holiday club (she happily goes to after school club) including several lots of waking up in the night crying so that was out as a plan.

We have 7 weeks to fill. This is our first time doing it as she's just finished reception. Luckily I only work 3 days a week.

2 weeks family holiday.
1 week my parents.
1 week dh parents.
1 week dh unpaid leave.
1 week me unpaid leave. (Taken as 2 days one week and 1 day another with large numbers of friends round while they work.)
The final week (or thankfully just 3 days and spread over two different weeks) she'll be going to various friends houses in return for me having their kids when I'm off.

SirChenjin · 17/07/2015 21:07

I'm so sorry for your losses - that must have been dreadful for you, and with such little time off. What an awful time you've had Sad

At 17 and 12 they will be fine with those arrangements - it doesn't sound dreadful at all Smile

Ivegotthree · 17/07/2015 21:12

knackered poor you, what an awful time you've had. I hope your summer is a little better for you.

We both work but I'm freelance so can do a lot from home. We have 6 weeks and are doing combo off grandparents and each of us taking time off.

When I didn't work the summer holidays were the bit I hated most. But now I'm looking forward to a bit of quality time with the children, plus having enough money to do fun things with them. I'd never go back to being a SAHM!