to feel like my ex is mugging me off?

[curiouslyorange]

Long time lurker, looking for opinions please...

Separated from my ex 5 years ago, our one child lives with me and has overnight contact 1 day midweek and also Friday night. I work part time as there is no space in after school club and local childminders have no space so I need to collect DD from school. Ex works fully flexible hours but refuses to collect DD from school on his contact days- he has never once collected her- I pick her up from school and he collects her from our house. I always provide school lunch for the following day as well as all clothes that DD will need (he won't provide so much as a pair of PJs or socks). I organise all child care for school holidays, even for the days that DD wakes up at her dad's house.

He pays child support with a 2/7ths reduction for the overnights but has paid the same amount for the last 5 years. When I mentioned reviewing it 4 years ago, he said he'd take me to court to get full residency if I pushed him for more money so I'm too scared to ask again. It was an emotionally abusive relationship and I'm ashamed to say I've not been strong enough to break away from this.

So... aibu to think that he's being a prat? I am grateful that he's still in our DD's life and that this is trivial in the grand scheme but it's getting me down. I don't even know what I hope to achieve by asking but i would be interested to know what others think.

Thanks x

Those are very wise steps for her to take.

Sadly for what ever reason she has previously been accepted as being the stereotype bitter mean contact blocker.

It's a horrendous situation that should never have happened but it is fair from the norm.

Sadly it's something I can see becoming the norm if a decent fight is not put up and a lower standard of conduct continues to be expected from NRP's than it would be from resident parents involved in other types of family law services. But that is solely just a pondering personal opinion.

I totally agree, SS in her area have been concerned more with pas sifting her ex then protecting her child. Despite the SW telling her that he has been aggressive, threatening and believes that he cannot put ds needs first. Keeps telling them to take ds away from her. Woukd it help if her ds is referred to a child psychologist, he is still ben g emotionally abused, has in the passed been sexually abused. Woukd a psychologist/therapist report into the damaging effects of contact on ds be helpful in court.

Meant passifying