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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 4 year olds need adult supervision on the street

35 replies

ThunderAndFrightening · 17/07/2015 06:54

Please tell me if I'm being PFB. A friend very kindly offered to look after DS(4) and DD(6) yesterday evening. We were chatting about what they had been doing, partly as they had grafittied the front of the house with chalk (not the issue) and she mentioned she had been in the house at the time. So, DCs were outside at the front of the house unsupervised for 5-10minutes maybe more. To give some context, front garden has no gate, we're on a busy road with lots of cars and pedestrian traffic and the garden is very small and open (more of a yard) - so road very close. Am I being precious to think they should have had an adult within sight? Friend looked at me like I was bonkers when I asked if she was out there with them. DCs are reasonably road and stranger aware, but DS in particular can still forget easily.

OP posts:
HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim · 17/07/2015 06:57

Does your friend know your DC well? I would let mine out front unsupervised (similar ages, similar set up) but I would err on the side of caution with someone else's kids...

HagOtheNorth · 17/07/2015 07:00

YANBU, but at least you know now and nothing bad happened. I wouldn't let her look after yours again until they are older.

HagOtheNorth · 17/07/2015 07:02

'So, DCs were outside at the front of the house unsupervised for 5-10minutes maybe more. To give some context, front garden has no gate, we're on a busy road with lots of cars and pedestrian traffic and the garden is very small and open (more of a yard) - so road very close.'

Would anyone be happy if a reception teacher had allowed that situation with a couple of children in her charge?

Hellionsitem2 · 17/07/2015 07:04

Not appropriate to have 4 year old playing on busy streets unsupervised

dontcryitsonlyajoke · 17/07/2015 07:04

We live on a main road, though set back a few metres. We have a gate but if my kids (4 & 7) want to go out I don't always close it, eg if I'm busy with tea or the baby, and I keep a eye on them from the window but not constantly and don't supervise. They're definitely sensible enough round the road now, and have had safety drummed into them (and lost playing out privileges if they don't follow those rules).

Because I don't know how their friends are around roads, I will always close our gate if they're here. However, tbh I wouldn't expect them at that age to go near the road. And chalking walls is so exciting for them that I would expect that to remove any attraction of the road.

So I think maybe you're being a bit precious, but your friend could probably have been a bit more careful!

Original poster
ThunderAndFrightening · 17/07/2015 07:05

Yes, she knows them really well, so maybe judged they would be fine.

OP posts:
Hellionsitem2 · 17/07/2015 07:06

Has she got children? It seems such a thoughtless thing to do

Hellionsitem2 · 17/07/2015 07:09

Non of my friends would allow my 4 year old to play next to a busy road unsupervised.

ShadowFire · 17/07/2015 07:14

YANBU.

Especially as they aren't her children, so she'll be less familiar with them and how they're likely to behave near roads.

Pippa12 · 17/07/2015 07:14

No chance. IMO Neither of them are old enough to be left unsupervised on the front- busy road or not. I wouldn't let this lady watch my children again.

chrome100 · 17/07/2015 07:32

I think it's fine actually. At 4 and 6 they should know not to run into the road.

Original poster
ThunderAndFrightening · 17/07/2015 08:00

Interesting mixed responses. Thanks.

Hellions, she has a baby of her own, but she also childminds and works in a school as a TA sometimes so knows children of different ages.

OP posts:
RachelRagged · 17/07/2015 09:10

No Op YANBU

bookbag40 · 17/07/2015 09:53

No way would I let a 4 year old out the front unsupervised. I would not let anyone look after my child who thought that was ok!

hiccupgirl · 17/07/2015 09:56

Def YANBU

We live on a quiet street in the middle of a huge housing estate so very little traffic. I've just started leaving DS (5) out at the front on his own if we're doing something like washing the car and I need to go and turn the hose on. But that is literally 1 min max. I wouldn't trust him enough yet to remember to not wander over the road or to wander off if someone asked him to.

Hellionsitem2 · 17/07/2015 10:49

I'm surprised she took such a risk. I would really worry about her childminding ability and her ability to appropriately work in school

Purplepoodle · 17/07/2015 10:51

Mine do but our roads not too busy

CrapBag · 17/07/2015 10:53

My children are 4 and 7 and I wouldn't let them do this. You are not being PFB at all and I'd be reluctant to leave them in her care again.

I was old enough at age 9 to know how to deal with roads, didn't stop me being run over though.

Artandco · 17/07/2015 10:54

No I wouldn't let my 5 and 4 year out alone. They wouldn't run into road, but I don't think it's safe at all

Ruledbycatsandkids6 · 17/07/2015 10:56

Is she a registered childminder.

I am and I am horrified by this.

Absolutely no way with my own kids but hell would freeze over before I treated mindees this way.

SirChenjin · 17/07/2015 11:00

I wouldn't if it was a busy road, no.

Ours all play outside in our very quiet cul de sac and the older ones look out for the younger ones, but the number of cars coming in/out is negligible.

Sickofthesnow · 17/07/2015 11:03

My son was out playing on the street a few days ago (8 next week) and we live in a quiet scheme so to speak, and there was this little random nursery age child following him around! He said she was 3 and I spoke to the girl and said where does she live? Shes like "away down there" pointing to a couple of streets away. I said to her she shouldn't be wandering off, and she actually said to me "Ma mum doesn't care, I can do what I want". Then some more chat about how she's allowed and her big sisters watching her. Big sister who was about 8-9 was further up my street playing with her friends.

I totally admit to being extremely judgey but I just think pre-schoolers, even kids in first few years of school, shouldn't be out unsupervised to wander the streets :/

Seriouslyffs · 17/07/2015 11:05

What did you do sickof?

SirChenjin · 17/07/2015 11:13

She said her mum doesn't care - and she was only 3?? Poor thing - most 3 year olds would be very upset at the thought of being so far away from home and their family Sad

junebirthdaygirl · 17/07/2015 11:16

I have 4 year old gd who is very sensible and calm but no way on earth would l let her out near a road without supervision. 99% of the time all children would be fine but it's that one time when they forget that ends up in tragedy and heartache. I would be twice as careful if the child wasn't my own as no way would l want something to happen on my watch and l wouldn't know the child's ways as well as my own. That is a total NO