Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your DH/DP give you a massage?

29 replies

TheHouseOnBellSt · 16/07/2015 22:22

Mine doesn't. Hardly ever and I might be a bit of a hypocrite here because I'm not exactly falling over myself to offer him one either but I think it's because even if I did, it would be all take, take, take.

Angry

I need more rubs! Dammit! No money for professional treatments.

If you've found this page in your search of the massage oils that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best massage oils useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

OP posts:
CassieBearRawr · 16/07/2015 22:23

Ask him?

cuntyMcCunterson · 16/07/2015 22:26

Mine doesn't but that purely my choice. On the few occasions he has, it's torture! He's very heavy handed and it feels like he's nipping and pinching i've had more enjoyable sports massages
I now just bite the bullet and pay a professional

LadyPenny · 16/07/2015 22:26

yes ask him, mine does loads and he's so good at it.

I never reciprocate Blush I really should.

Original poster
TheHouseOnBellSt · 16/07/2015 22:27

Cassie I have but he's often reluctant or too tired. Yet he wants sex a lot! I'd be more interested in sex if I got more back rubs and yes I've told him that.

OP posts:
BornIn2000 · 16/07/2015 22:27

Yes he does, we take it in turns. So he gets his fair share back.

mrsdavidbowie · 16/07/2015 22:28

It's the only thing I miss about ex h.
DS has potential Wink

jusdepamplemousse · 16/07/2015 22:30

Yes all the time. It was a fairly major factor in my decision to marry him - not really (but yes really Grin).

madmother1 · 16/07/2015 22:32

Mrsdavidbowie my DS does great shoulder massages too!!

HedgehogAtHome · 16/07/2015 22:33

I get them now I'm pregnant to ease my back, he does have arthritis in his hands so it's a very nice gesture on his part and I don't get them usually.

When I am rich I shall have a massage a week.

ahbollocks · 16/07/2015 22:38

I can't imagine anything worse Blush

trufflehunterthebadger · 16/07/2015 22:50

Good god no ! DH's hands are like sandpaper and he rubs far too hard. I don't let him anywhere near me in a massaging way

AndThisIsTrue · 16/07/2015 22:55

Yes DH rubs my calves as I get really bad restless legs . I have tried giving him a massage but he says I'm rubbish at it! Fair enough but luckily he still does it for me.

irretating · 16/07/2015 22:56

Yes, he's pretty good like that.

irretating · 16/07/2015 22:56

truffle, get some oil!

xalyssx · 16/07/2015 22:58

He will if I ask him to, on the condition that I will reciprocate when he needs it.

LokiBear · 16/07/2015 23:06

Mine does. Badly. I feel like I've been run over after.

Zillie77 · 16/07/2015 23:07

House: why don't you institute a back rub for blowjob exchange program with your husband?

maras2 · 16/07/2015 23:08

Yes,and has done for 47 years.I love massaging him too.No massage oils available back in the day but Aquamanda bath oil sufficed < for all needs massage related > Wink

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 16/07/2015 23:08

What do you do for him OP? It's not unreasonable for you to want a massage but do you offer him any sort of no-strings affection on a regular basis?

My DP loves a back tickle so whenever I have my hands free I stick them up his t shirt and give him a tickle. He's so grateful that he happily rubs my rough and cracked feet every night in return.

It's about give and take. Telling him to massage you in return for sex makes it seem like sex is just a favour for him rather than something you enjoy together. Try to find something non sexual that he would enjoy and try giving first so that he can reciprocate (making it clear that your massage is not a precursor to sex!)

Then hopefully once you're in the habit of being nice to each other sex will be a pleasure rather than something he wants and you withhold because you don't think he deserves it.

tumbletumble · 16/07/2015 23:12

Mine doesn't. He hates receiving them too. I used to like them but we've been together so long I'd sort of forgotten until I read this!

Spintastic · 16/07/2015 23:14

It wouldn't even enter my head to want to have a massage , let alone mention it to my husband

grovel · 16/07/2015 23:26

I have got dodgy knees. My DH does fantastic massage on them and the surrounding areas. Unbelievably effective pain relief. He does not believe in pseudo-science but I swear he gets a vibe from the areas of pain and targets them gently/firmly as needed. I can feel heat from his hands hovering 3 inches above my skin.

Zillie77 · 17/07/2015 02:01

When my husband and I get into bed one of the first things he does is roll over on his side and flip up his t-shirt, hoping for a back rub. I call it "assuming the position." He looks so cute doing it, I can never resist, so he gets a back rub almost every night. I love giving them, though-it really makes me feel happy to be doing it for him.

Zillie77 · 17/07/2015 02:02

For the record, we also have plenty of sex, he just also loves back rubs.

chockbic · 17/07/2015 02:07

God no, he thumps like a gorilla.

Swipe left for the next trending thread