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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman had some cheek?

19 replies

SantanaLopez · 16/07/2015 13:59

Took DH's granny to mass this morning and this woman was waiting at the back at the end.

She wanted the priest to give her a reference and he said no, he didn't recognise her and as such, he couldn't give her one.

She offered to come to church every week for a month and would he change his mind?

My flabber was gasted!

OP posts:
wickedlazy · 16/07/2015 14:05

Don't see anything wrong with it myself. Don't a lot of churches require you attend for a few week if you want to have a dc christened or get married? Isn't this kind of similar only she'd be getting a reference after the couple of weeks instead?

wickedlazy · 16/07/2015 14:06

*weeks

EstaRive · 16/07/2015 14:06

Ridiculous that half the parishioners probably don't even believe in God but go every week just to get that school reference, too.

Such is life Wink.

SantanaLopez · 16/07/2015 14:08

She wanted a reference to teach in a school, actually! We don't need to do school entry references up here.

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Hipotle · 16/07/2015 14:09

Agree it seems bizarre but maybe she was desperate for a character reference to get some work but was trapped in the cycle of 'can't get work without experience but can't get experience without a work reference' and looking for a creative solution. So I can kind of understand why she would reach out to a community figure - shows quite good initiative, although admittedly not much sense in approaching this particular figure if she didn't actually know them (yet?).

KoalaDownUnder · 16/07/2015 14:10

YANBU.

Of course it's cheeky to ask someone for a reference when they don't even know you. Hmm

ChwatFeechers · 16/07/2015 14:13

Agree with Hipotle.

wickedlazy · 16/07/2015 14:15

To be fair though at least she has been honest and up front with the priest, instead of going for a few weeks, asking for and getting a reference then never being seen again.

SantanaLopez · 16/07/2015 14:15

Maybe she was desperate for a character reference to get some work but was trapped in the cycle of 'can't get work without experience but can't get experience without a work reference' and looking for a creative solution

I suppose so, but you wouldn't ask your priest for a reference on your faith if you didn't even bother going to church!

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SantanaLopez · 16/07/2015 14:17

To be fair though at least she has been honest and up front with the priest, instead of going for a few weeks, asking for and getting a reference then never being seen again.

That's true.

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Hipotle · 16/07/2015 14:21

I see what you mean Santana if she was asking for a faith reference! Clearly she couldn't / shouldn't get one of those based on four weeks! I assumed she was looking for a more general character reference, which a priest could in theory give in these circumstances, even if it was a very simple objective one....

TheHumourlessHarpy · 16/07/2015 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jackie0 · 16/07/2015 14:24

You don't ask someone you don't know and doesn't know you to give you a reference ffs.
Yanbu

SantanaLopez · 16/07/2015 14:27

It is something to do with Catholic schools in Scotland. All teachers in them have to be approved by the church.

All teachers who seek approval must provide a reference from a suitable person who can testify to the teacher’s personal “religious belief and character”. The reference for a Catholic teacher must be provided by the teacher’s parish priest who should be able to testify to the teacher’s personal “religious belief and character”.

www.sces.uk.com/approval.html

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Murdermysteryreader · 16/07/2015 14:27

Some catholic schools demand a third reference from your priest. Hard if you are not catholic

Anniegetyourgun · 16/07/2015 14:30

Sure, he'd give a really meaningful reference after seeing her face in his church once a week for a whole month!

busjs79 · 16/07/2015 14:30

Actually, it does make sense: in Scotland you need a reference to teach in RC schools - preferably from your parish priest. Non RC candidates have to find someone who is prepared to attest to their "good character" - again preferably someone who holds a formal religious position within their own faith. The local Diocese must approve the person before they can take up a permanent position - and can (and do) refuse this at times.

SantanaLopez · 16/07/2015 14:32

Sure, he'd give a really meaningful reference after seeing her face in his church once a week for a whole month

I know!

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ReginaBlitz · 16/07/2015 22:30

Yabu for ear wiggingGrin

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