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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being miffed that someone thought I looked older than my age...!

46 replies

MyRealNamesBernard · 15/07/2015 13:31

I took my DC to her friend's house for a play, and the child's mum and I were having a cup of tea together. Anyway, out of the blue she asked me how old I was. So I told her. And she replied: "Wow..... I thought you were MUCH older!"

I didn't know how to respond.

And then she asked if I would ever consider botox.

So, I replied, that I had never, ever considered botox, but after that bombshell, I clearly needed to reconsider....

AIBU? Or is it rude to tell someone they look older than they are? BTW, I am in my thirties - not 15. If I was 15 and she'd made that comment, I would obviously have been thrilled!

OP posts:
Weathergames · 16/07/2015 19:50

When I was 34 I was attending a hospital appt and must have been looking a little lost - a nurse approached me and asked if I was "looking for the menopause clinic" Angry

DoJo · 16/07/2015 20:03

I understand that feeling Weathergames, although I was looking for the cardiac unit when some 'helpful' soul asked if I was looking for the maternity hospital! I was pregnant at the time, but only about 8 weeks, so I was a bit offended. My husband tried to reassure me that I obviously looked too young to have heart trouble and just in the middle of my most fertile years, but I was pretty grudging in my acceptance of his reasoning and am still pretty sure that she was referring to my rather teapot-esque stature!

TheChandler · 16/07/2015 20:13

She's either a jealous cow or trying to sell Botox.

When I started a new job once, there was a bitchy admin assistant. She told me on my first day that she had seen my personal details before I started, and since I was "ages with Donald" (ie around the same age), had allocated me to share a room with him. I was 34 and Donald was 49...

Peacheykeen · 16/07/2015 20:20

Spottybotty what I meant was Katie Price looks a lot older than her actual age and she has regular botox I worded it the wrong way round lol.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 16/07/2015 20:24

My 1st thought is also she going to try sell you Botox or some miracle anti ageing crap.

Trills · 16/07/2015 20:28

That's a rude thing to say.

But let's think about it for a second.

If someone has a realistic about "what 35 looks like" then quite a few 35 yr olds are going to look older than that (just as qute a lot are going to look younger than that).

We see a lot of images every day of people who are chosen for their good (youthful) looks, who may have had the help of professional makeup artists, professional lighting, etc, and that's before we even talk about photoshop.

So that means that many people could have an UNrealistic idea of "what 35 looks like", so lots of regular people are going to look "older" than that.

itsaruddygame · 16/07/2015 21:55

She sounds like a dick. Rude and annoying and quite possibly a Botox pusher! I was once told by a woman at a beauty counter that I needed some of her special cream for the lines around my mouth as I clearly had a cats bum smokers mouth. I am not a smoker and only narrowly avoided having to shove the cream up her ass.

BrookeM1964 · 04/11/2016 19:31

Some people, rudeness aside, have no concept of age. I was 34 years old when my brother's wife had their first child. His wife is 2 years older than I am. I was staying with them for a week when the baby was a couple months old. She and I went to her gym and she brought the baby to stay in the gym daycare for the hour we were there.

When we were done and went to pick up the baby, the gal working in there looked at me and asked "are you grandma?" I was 34 and the mother of the child older then me! It hit me like a brick and I was depressed for days. I finally realized that some people really are that clueless, or intentionally catty.

NavyandWhite · 04/11/2016 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twixandlatte · 04/11/2016 19:39

I agree with this my DP has looked early twenties since we were 14/15 and he hasn't changed since.

The lady was unnecessarily rude and I don't think you should comment on people's appearance (negatively) if you aren't on an extremely personal level. I would have asked her had she had Botox and was she due a top up SmileWink

Twixandlatte · 04/11/2016 19:41

Meant I agree with blazing88. time for my wind down Wine clearly

NavyandWhite · 04/11/2016 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DamePastel · 04/11/2016 19:43

Blimey, was she trying to cut you down at the knees?

DamePastel · 04/11/2016 19:45

I was out with my dad once and some guy he was chatting to on the high street said ''is this your wife?'' and my dad was mid-rant and didn't even register the question, he carried on with what he was saying but I made a sick face at the acquaintance. I think I also spat out 'he was thirty when I was born Confused. wife shmife.

ManagersDilemma · 04/11/2016 19:49

A colleague asked if we had attended the same school. I checked her LinkedIn and was dismayed to find that she left school in 1990. I left in 2008!!!

If it's any consolation, OP, she is probably feeling much worse about her comment than you are. Either that, or she's selling Botox.

mumofthemonsters808 · 04/11/2016 20:00

How rude, I bet my bottom dollar she is planning to introduce you to the World of Botox and fillers. Women look great in their thirties and don't let her make you doubt yourself, you will look fine. Forties take their toll and fifties are lethal and most people simply look their age, regardless of the Botox. I'd give her a wide berth

PotatoCakeMixes · 04/11/2016 20:10

I always make a point of saying ' I'm mum' when I attend my young daughters medical appointments since I stopped using hair dye... I'm 48. Always looked a lot younger, at least ten years, than I am, till I hit 45.

Pineapplemilkshake · 04/11/2016 20:50

She was rude. One of my ex friends said something very similar about my DP - that she was gobsmacked he was "only 40" and not the same age as her 50 year old DH. God knows why as he actually looks pretty young for his age. It was the last in a very long run of subtle barbed remarks that prompted me to rethink our friendship.

DearMrDilkington · 04/11/2016 20:56

And then she asked if I would ever consider botox.

Nooo! I actually laughed out loud at that, I'm gobsmacked how rude some people are.
I'm sure you don't need botox!

Bettybooop25 · 04/11/2016 21:04

Hellllooooo, the OP is from last year

BrookeM1964 · 04/11/2016 21:09

So? You saw it right? Maybe somebody else will, or is this a topic nobody cares about anymore? No longer do people have such problems?

Or, you just wanted to be rude to a newbie who was trying to make the OP feel better.

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