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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

worried sick about losing home, any positive advice please.

30 replies

foreverton · 14/07/2015 10:14

Hi all, I'm really afraid:( had a notice seeking possession on our house( only been here 7 months and arrears are just under £900 )
Housing association property.
It was supposed to be a fresh start, me and dp were going through a separation, couldn't cope with our previous living situation, dd 4 was sleeping in a toddler bed in our room, ds 12 has aspergers and mild tourettes.
Basically the house was way too small and I developed mental health issues which I believe were triggered from going through an unsuccessful school appeal for ds.

So I got a pt job, zero hours contract but it helped and then in the same week I found out ds was being severely bullied and was then groped at work by a much older male colleague.
He was dismissed after an investigation and I was consequently offered shifts I couldn't do:( I don't think I was believed and was treated horribly.

Second school appeal was unsuccessful and ds was without a school for 3 months, I did my best to home educate him but my MH suffered and am a constant bag of nerves. On so much medication plus have a chronic health condition and am on strong painkillers.

Trying to keep this a secret from dp as he is bipolar and struggles with worrying so I'm doing it for the both of us!

He works and pays 70% of the rent and I've let the rest build up due to a combination of no wages and a reduction in tax creds.
Am petrified of losing this home, I love it, things starting to look up. Ds has a new school and I'm looking for a new job as dd starts school in September.

I need ideas. Does anyone have any positive stories of the likes of wonga/loan companies.
Credit not good so limited to these types of things.
I'm burdened by this, can't sleep, how can things spiral out of control so quickly?

Thanks for reading if you've got this far, nobody to really talk to and feel better just getting it off my chest.
So I guess my AIBU is do I try and get a loan off one of these companies? Heard so many horror stories.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 14/07/2015 10:26

Call the HA immediately and come up with a reasonable payment plan. The notice seeking possession is by no means final and if you engage and show efforts to pay off arrears then it is unlikely that a court will evict you.

I've been here. My ex ran up thousands that I only discovered after we split up. I too had a notice seeking possession and immediately started paying a reasonable amount each month. They still took me to court though dicks and the judge was actually really shirty with them and ordered them to pay all my costs as it was clear I had made every effort to engage and pay off the arrears. Keep a diary of all contact with your HA. I'm still in my flat and have paid most of the arrears off now.

sparechange · 14/07/2015 10:27

Firstly, there is no positive side to Wonga and the like. Stay away from them. However bad it seems now, it will be 100 times worse if you involve them. I cannot stress this enough.

You need to come clean to both your DP, and you need to phone the housing association. You should be able to come to a plan with them, or at least have an honest conversation. Have you been ignoring letters etc up to this point?

What is your work situation at the moment?

Icimoi · 14/07/2015 10:27

Check out debt advice sessions at your local Citizens Advice Bureau and make an appointment immediately

MarwoodsTrenchcoat · 14/07/2015 10:27

This sort of thing is what CAB is for. Have you made any contact with the housing association to explain your situation? You should do that as soon as possible to stop things getting any worse. It's housing associations' job to be more supportive to families in situations like yours than the average private landlord would be. CAB can help you work out and set up a payment arragement.
You want to try and avoid the massive interest rates on payday loans.

Original poster
foreverton · 14/07/2015 10:31

Nicky, thanks so much for your message!
I'm glad to hear that you've managed to come out of the other side:)

At the moment I am muddling along but know you're absolutely right, I need to get my strong head on and deal with this, I'm not coping with it very well.

Dp is such a worrier over money issues and that's what split us up last year so I suppose that's why I'm trying to sort it alone if that makes sense?

Again, thank you x

OP posts:
tiggytape · 14/07/2015 10:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paulapompom · 14/07/2015 11:57

So sorry to hear this op. Flowers. StepChange can be helpful, they are a debt advice charity. I would stay well clear of any type of payday loan co. However if you have a credit union near you they offer low cost loans, and you don't have to have savings with them to apply, but they usually only approve loans once a month so apply asap. The CAB have helped me a lot in the past, but are sometimes really busy so persevere.
With both yourself and your DH having mh issues you may be able to get assistance, try MIND. If you can access the internet there's a lot of help on there, local library usual give free internet for hour long sessions. Sorry if this is already stuff you know, but it's what I've used in the past.

Whatever, please start today, it's so tempting to ignore it but please don't,get the help now xx

TheHouseOnBellSt · 14/07/2015 12:00

The HA will be understanding as long as you stay in touch....call them today! Do it. You CAN keep your house....have you called them at all OP?

RachelRagged · 14/07/2015 12:12

What others have said , steer well clear of likes of Wonga.

Lucyandpoppy · 14/07/2015 12:46

Go to the housing dept of your local council - most councils have a discretionary housing fund so basically a sum of money that they will lend/give to you to cover emergency housing expenses to avoid you becoming homeless.

BettyCatKitten · 14/07/2015 13:09

Like pp have said get in touch with HA and keep them informed and speak to your local housing department to see if you're entitled to a discretionary payment. Given your circumstances you should come under the umbrella of vulnerable tenants and be treated as such. Best wishes to you all.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/07/2015 13:15

Are you in a position to pay the full amount of the rent plus a small payment towards the arrears?
Are you claiming all benefits you are entitled to? I would second the suggestions of speaking to your HA and the CAB.

You need to show that you can afford the rent and an arrears payment otherwise you might struggle to convince the HA or a court (hopefully it won't come to that) that there is a reasonable prospect of you clearing the arrears. Courts will tell you that rent should be seen as a priority not something you only pay when you can - I am sure you have seen it as a priority just make sure you tell everyone relevant that you see it that way.

As long as you have a sensible suggestion for paying the rent from now on and repaying the arrears even if its just ?5-10 pw then the HA should be reasonable. Even if it went to court I would expect the judge to accept the position.

Ideally you want to avoid it going to court at all as they might grant the HA a Suspended Possession Order which means you can stay in the property provided you meet the repayment schedule but if you fail to keep to it then (from memory) the Order can be activated without a full court hearing.

Don't let this go on any longer speak to the HA today.
Don't go near pay day loans. The HA is far more reasonable to deal with and won't charge you interest on your arrears.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 14/07/2015 13:16

Absolutely what Nikki said. Re a loan- you can't pay it off. Even if there was a positive to such companies there is no positive to you using them- you would need to repay the debt next month and thy as not going to happen is it? Think logically about who you'd rather owe money to- the HA or wonga? HA every single time.

First thing, you need to think about what you can do to change this. ATM I can't see how a repayment plan will help because you still don't have the income to make up the rent and have a go at the arrears. What will change in this respect? New job?

When you have a plan call the HA and explain. I promise, they will be understanding. It will cost them far more than £900 to evict you IF you can keep my with future rent

Purplepoodle · 14/07/2015 13:20

Phone HA now.

FrenchJunebug · 14/07/2015 13:36

You need to contact the HA immediately. They will agree a repayment plan with you.

thatsforsure · 14/07/2015 13:55

do not go anywhere near wonga or any other payday loans etc - they are not any type of solution as they will store up bigger problems for the future.

what is your income at the moment - are you getting housing benefit

You need to speak to the HA and you need to start paying rent plus atleast £5 pw off the arrears whether or not you are able to reach an agreement

they have to get a court order to evict you - if they are happy that they will get their money without doing this then as long as you are keeping up with agreement you will be fine but if they do issue proceedings then you need to be in the best possible place to defend the case. you need to get advice - is there a law centre near you - they will help you sort out HB and negotiate

It is far from being too late to sort this out but it sounds like you need to have some back up so i would get advice asap.

crazykat · 14/07/2015 18:34

As pp have said, get in touch with the HA first thing tomorrow and explain. When my mum was ill my parents got behind with the rent to a similar amount and we're served with the same. I rang for them and explained the situation and we sorted out a payment plan and everything was fine. HA's are much more willing to settle on a payment plan then private landlords as long as you then stick to it.

Also make an appointment with citizens advice and make sure you're claiming everything you should be.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 14/07/2015 18:42

Did you manage to do anything OP?

Original poster
foreverton · 16/07/2015 05:00

Hi all, thanks so much for all messages, I've not been too good these last few days but just to answer some questions..

Yes I've already been in touch with the housing association, they were sympathetic to the situation but still insisting on rent plus minimum amount off arrears each week and that's where we're struggling.

Work haven't given me any hours at all for over a month. I went in to discuss my availability and yet was still scheduled shifts they know I can't do. It's a horrible situation as I need the money but feel like I'm the one who did wrong. The man involved was on full pay during the investigation and I got nothing:( oh just to add I've also had a friend request on fb from his wife! Obviously I ignored it.

Am already in the credit union and used my Christmas loan money for mostly moving essentials, flooring, blinds, paint etc and they can't help me again until October.

I'm going to read through all of your messages again and take notes, need to do something. Hate being reliant (addicted ) to these tablets but feel so stressed and anxious all the time.
The only time I'm not worrying is when I'm asleep and my sleeping pattern is all over the place.

I've got to do something positive, I'm being honest with housing association and keeping them informed but they've just had a major re-shuffle management wise and are making things harder re arrears etc and have evicted several families already this year.
That's my biggest fear:(

Again, thank you all.

OP posts:
textfan · 16/07/2015 05:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
foreverton · 16/07/2015 05:26

Text-Thank you, you've hit the nail on the head.
As much as I would like to work and make things better, I'm not well and felt worse whilst working. On my feet all Night in pain and the final straw was what happened.
Dp said yesterday that I should basically stop moaning about being skint and try and get some hours!!
Both of my brothers have said they would not want their wives working in an environment like that where I was not supported by management, was ignored and ridiculed by staff over the "allegations" and was treated so badly but to dp it's the answer.
The thought of going back there makes me feel worse. I'm going to be pro active today whilst dd is at nursery. Physically I'm in so much pain and my brain won't shut off all of this. It's a horrible combination.

Electric is on 22p now, just can't believe I'm in this boat, have watched programmes on tv and whilst I've been sympathetic I've often thought that things can't be that bad surely!!
It goes to show how things can affect anyone, I always thought we were doing ok, it's so embarrassing and has probably made me realise that people are good at hiding problems away. I'm doing it now and it needs to stop.
No more ostrich! Head coming out of sand:)

OP posts:
textfan · 16/07/2015 05:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
foreverton · 16/07/2015 06:00

Text-once again, Thank you:)

I'm going to contact shelter. Funnily enough that's the charity shop I choose to drop stuff at whilst in town!

I've always been a "glass half full" type of person so this isn't going to defeat me. Just scary how things can turn around so fast.

To answer your question, were paying 70% of rent by dd, I'm supposed to be covering the difference, maybe that's why I'm shouldering the responsibility as its pretty much my fault. Dp pays the dd.

OP posts:
TheHouseOnBellSt · 16/07/2015 06:31

When is the next rent due? Do you have it? If you need help with budgeting we can help you do that too....I'm a master at feeding a family of four on three crumbs and a pebble for a week Grin seriously though I can do a week's shop for under 40 quid OP..I'll tell you what I buy if you like/

Original poster
foreverton · 16/07/2015 06:36

Yes please I would be really interested to see that, Thank you x

Rent due again on Monday, it's going to tip us just over the thousand.
It just makes me feel sick.

I feel like I've let everyone down:(

OP posts:
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