To tell MIL to end the relentless gift buying

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MIL is a very generous lady and she clearly loves her grandson (DS). She turns up every week with stuff for him, usually clothes as she works in a clothes shop and I've tried to gently tell her that DS has more clothes than he could ever wear and suggest buying bigger sizes if something is so reduced that it would be 'silly not to buy it '.

However by steering her away from clothes her attention seems to have turned to toys. At least 1 new thing every week. And I'm not talking a bit of pound shop crap, I'm talking proper and expensive toys.

Anyway, it is his 2nd birthday in a few weeks and she has already told us what she is buying him and it is massive and costs £200. Ok fine, it's his birthday and it is something that we would have bought him ourselves so it's not a ridiculous gift.

Then yesterday she turns up with an 'early birthday present' (a £50 toy) which is incidentally what his other nanny has got for him for his birthday. She had already given it to DS before I could say anything and he had broken the box so not returnable. So I then have to tell mum that she has to return her present and we have to think of something else.

DH had a word with her later and pointed out how ridiculous it is that she keeps buying him more and more stuff and how it's especially not really a good idea around his birthday when other people are looking For inspiration for gifts for him.

She does not get it. She doesn't see why she shouldn't buy him what she wants when she wants. I suggested opening a uni or car account for him so she can put into that if she wants to treat him but that is no dice.

AIBU to start telling her to take stuff back when she turns up with it?

and www.nsandi.com/childrens-bonds are only for relatives like parents grandparents so she has to be related to get them for him... make it all about her

Been there OP. It used to bother me more than it does now, whatever I could, I would leave at ILs, so that we weren't storing it (we had a tiny house when it was at it's worst and it seemed like a case of the bigger the gift the better , sometimes I felt like it was a test - how many toys can you fit into a starter home? ). I also took a lot of stuff to the charity shop so someone else could benefit from it, we often got duplicates of things that we already had so for those I store them in the loft in their packaging until christmas time and give to local charities that distribute new toys to children that won't get much. In our case, the arrival of DN eased things a lot. It's hard when they buy the same thing as the other GPs, especially in the example where it's bought as a 'just because' gift and the other GPs have got it for a special occasion. I really think that any big purchases for children should first be consulted with their parents, kind of madness not to.

How about experiences rather than toys? Suggest they go to farm, library, park etc instead and how much of a treat that would be and how excited he would be - bonus of not having to store stuff, time off for you, and knowing when nanny comes they go out rather than when people come he gets presents

Alternatively, could she give coins for his piggy bank rather than putting money in his account as she is still giving him something then, could even buy a special piggy bank for nanny coins, when it's full it goes to the bank and he gets to buy a book or a comic or something

Good problem to have at least compared to some of the other issues on AIBU.

I think the saving account idea is the best one. DS will be infinitely more grateful for his first car being bought and paid for than two tonnes of Lego, even though he won't realise it just yet

YANBU. I had to tell MIL in the early days to stop buying presents for DC every single week. We didn't have room for it all, and I didn't want DC growing up feeling entitled to weekly gifts. Most of it was utter tat anyway. Her nose was out of joint a little at first, but that's just tough

The savings idea is far far better. I shudder to think how much money MIL wasted on tat that either never got played with or which went to the charity shop after a few weeks.

I was really worried about this with my mum and she is a spending addict, but she has been really restrained without me saying anything. I can see how it would be overwhelming, so much stuff to find a place for and no excitement attached to buying things yourself, or waiting to treat him. You need to sit her down and have a serious word, if she doesn't listen then tell her you're taking it all to the charity shop if she doesn't stop. It might be awkward at first but better than seething inside for years to come.

Of course you could always persuade her to buy books.

Suggest she buys your son an annual pass to the local zoo, play centre, soft play etc then she could take him and have special one to one time with him. Limit gift shop spending to a minimum though!