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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask her to not to change nappy in cafe

29 replies

blendedfamilygrinch · 13/07/2015 11:52

Am at the gym, in cafe area next to soft play. There are tables where people are eating lunch & 2 large sofas. I'm on 1 sofa watching dd in soft play. Lady has collected 6ish month old from creche, taken him out of buggy & complained his nappy hasn't been changed. Taken him to the empty sofa & changed his dirty nappy. There is a baby change unit in womens changing rooms & another in disabled toilets. Why would you not use them? I don't think iabu for wishing she would, aibu for not asking her to & posting here about it instead?

OP posts:

00100001 · 13/07/2015 11:52

YANBU

clam · 13/07/2015 11:56

Grim!

Jackie0 · 13/07/2015 11:57

Oh Boke!
I would want to tell her where the baby changing room was but for knows what response you'd get.
Ideally a member of staff should say something.

Donnadoon · 13/07/2015 11:57

urgh YANBU

AnyoneforTurps · 13/07/2015 11:59

YANBU - poo, even from exclusively milk-fed babies, contains millions of bacteria. Boke.

Goshthatsspicy · 13/07/2015 12:01

I think the mother becomes so immune to their own babies nappies, they think everyone is!
YANBU.

MythicalKings · 13/07/2015 12:02

Gross. Complain to the staff.

RunningJumpingClimbingTrees · 13/07/2015 12:05

God that's grim. I once had my stinky bummed wee one in a restaurant and asked where the baby change was to which they said just do it on the chair we don't have one. I thought that would be horrible so I went across the street to the Starbucks...people have to eat there etc.

I have changed my baby in many random spots but not places where people are eating.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 13/07/2015 12:09

YANBU.

I'm guessing her older one was in soft play and she didn't want to leave him / her to go to the toilets but it's not nice especially in cafe area.

msgrinch · 13/07/2015 12:11

That's disgusting!

BlueStarsAtNight · 13/07/2015 12:18

If she had an older child in the soft play bit I can understand it, and tbh if she put a change mat down first I wouldn't be overly bothered, though I would have used the changing station myself.

firesidechat · 13/07/2015 12:22

I'm sorry I can't understand this at all. There are all sorts of reasons why poo isn't a feature of public life - hygiene, smells, disgust. To change a dirty nappy in the midst of people eating and drinking is grim and inconsiderate.

RachelRagged · 13/07/2015 12:34

Ewwww mucky mare

OP YANBU

GoblinLittleOwl · 13/07/2015 12:36

Yes!!!
Complain to her.
Complain at Reception.
This is disgusting and dirty behaviour.
If she has a child in soft play, she either removes it or waits until play is over, then uses the changing facilities available.
A nappy changing facility was provided in our local library recently; (cost nearly £400 provided by Library Support Group not the Library service); if these facilities are available they should be used.

Original poster

blendedfamilygrinch · 13/07/2015 12:49

I left, didn't comment to her or staff - tho the offending nappy was sticking half out of waste bin - unbagged so poor cleaner will have to deal with it.
Yes she had an older child in softplay - but was with a friend so surely could have asked her to watch. I have always either dragged both dc to toilets, left with friend watching or on occasion asked friendly looking stranger to keep an eye for few min.
I'm too gutless to say anything as we are often there at same time & I don't want a situation...

OP posts:

stickystick · 13/07/2015 22:44

just on this topic - I was at a cafe with my 5 mo son and had ordered an omelette and salad for my lunch when he woke up and immediately filled his nappy to bursting - a horrible smell issued forth and people nearby started twitching their noses. I trundled off to the loos only to find that it was absolutely tiny - no nappy changing station, and not even the smallest shelf that you could wedge a child onto to be changed. The floor of the loo wasn't an option as it was so small.
In sheer desperation, I laid his pushchair seat flat, put the hood up, and did him in the corner of the cafe as discreetly as I could. Which, given it wasn't big, was not that far from everyone else. Noone said anything but I was worried I was committing a major faux pas. Was I?

cleanmyhouse · 13/07/2015 23:24

Wouldn't have bothered me. Its baby poop. No biggie.

honeyroar · 13/07/2015 23:25

No that's different Stickystick, you had tried to find another option.. Did you mention it to the cafe or ask if there was somewhere you could go? Might make them think..

I get it at work a lot. I'm cabin crew. So many times parents start changing nappies on the seat, often during a meal service, oblivious to everyone around them gagging over their meals. I always ask tell them to go to the loo and change there. It's unbelievable they have to be asked. Some of them come into the galleys waving a hot and steamy rolled up nappy at us asking what they should do with it too. Put it in the bin in the toilet!!

ASettlerOfCatan · 13/07/2015 23:31

If there are changing facilities you should always use them. If there aren't raise the issue with staff if applicable (sometimes small places only add them when enough people complain) then do whatever you have to. I use the led down buggy with a travel mat in if I'm stuck as its less contamination on anything else and the sides/back give some protection/privacy so random strangers don't have to look at my kids dirty arse.

Nanny0gg · 13/07/2015 23:47

It's not the looking it's the smell!

I'm sorry (actually I'm not)

Changing a dirty nappy in a café/restaurant is beyond vile.

Take the baby outside if there's no changing place. Do not do it by other people who have paid for their food and drink.

TracyBarlow · 13/07/2015 23:50

Wee in a six minutes month old nappy? No problem with that. No wee actually goes on the chair. I can whip off a nappy and put another one on my 6 month old in one swift movement.

Poo? Grim.

ephemeralfairy · 13/07/2015 23:53

Grim grim grim. How can anyone think this is acceptable?? On a related note when I was in China a few years back I went to McDonalds for some much-needed stodgy food and in the loos I witnessed a woman lifting her toddler to poo IN THE WASTE BIN. When there were three empty toilets right behind her.

butterfly133 · 13/07/2015 23:54

Raised by wolves. E. coli anyone? Un bleeping believable. Well I believe you but I mean...who does that? I saw someone doing this in the window of a coffe shop once.

I don't know why some people think baby poo has no bacteria?!

Friedgreenpajamas · 13/07/2015 23:54

I think people with babies can get desensitised. Ugh.

No excuse. In a soft play cebtre there are always loads of parents who can keep an eye on other children whilst you change the baby.

Sleepyhoglet · 14/07/2015 00:30

Honeyroar- wouldn't it be nearly impossible to change a baby in a airplane toilet? They are tiny and the floor isn't very easy to bend down into in such a confined space

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