Background: DP works hard in a physical job and is knackered during the week. We moved to this part of the country from a long way away about 3 months ago when I was three months pregnant and I've not been able to find any work, though I am looking. I don't know that many people here. Money is tight. My week days involve driving DP to and from work (he's learning to drive), sorting our new house out, cooking dinner, trying to pursue hobbies that don't cost anything and doing a fair amount of sitting about on my own being a bit bored.
At the weekend DP and I went to a small music festival run by some family friends on their land. It's always a lairy affair after dark, some people with kids just go for the afternoon, most people camp overnight and get wasted.
At 6 months pregnant I had reservations about going. Standing up in a field for hours, having to walk miles up very steep hills to reach the site, no proper loo facilities, everyone else drinking hard. DP really wanted to go and, although there were other people going we know, hadn't arranged to be part of their group so wanted the company. I agreed to go but asked that we leave together before it got too late, 9 or 10 ish. I didn't fancy another weekend night in the house on my own. I feel like it's becoming a bit of a habit.
He's been out on the lash three out of the last four weekends (since we moved into our new house after staying with his parents for a bit). Lack of transport late at night means he's slept over at a friends house on these occasions. The weekend he didn't go out we had five of his family members to stay, so it wasn't exactly a weekend to ourselves and took quite a lot of work.
At 7pm, DP announced he wanted to stay at the festival after all, in a friends tent. I got a bit upset at being ditched again, but he'd paid for a ticket, it's a once a year event, he works hard etc, so we said goodbye and I left him to it. He was going to get a lift home in the morning.
At 9am Sunday I got a call asking me to collect him. I drove the half hour to pick him up and found him by the side of the road, looking terrible. We had to stop three times on the way home and he still managed to vomit out of the moving car with inevitable gross consequences. When we got home he went to bed. I bought his usual hang over cures at the shops, woke him after lunch in time to go to a family visit we'd arranged (his family), cooked an early dinner and we went to bed at 9pm.
I know he's not pregnant, that he works hard, that it's not his fault I don't have much of a social life here etc. I'm just a bit fed up with all of his weekends getting taken up by drinking and subsequent hang overs when I spend all week on my own as it is. He says he appreciates what I do but I don't see him to do anything to show this. I wouldn't mind a weekend together doing stuff he knows I'll enjoy, or the odd treat for both of us like dinner out or the cinema that costs no more than a night on the tiles with his mates.
Am I being an unreasonable, naggy, boring wifey, curtailing his freedom because I have no life? Or is it reasonable of me to expect a little solidarity while I'm carrying his child, and a few weekends of us enjoying time together before we become a family and have no time for such things anyway? If the latter, how do I make him see this? I've tried telling him how I feel, suggesting things we could do together, and nothing ever comes of it.
Sorry for the essay!