To ask for the most creative ways to hand in my notice.

[WankeyDoodle]

Just had the most awful working experience of my life. Manager is two faced, bitches about everyone in the most ugly way, sets unrealistic workloads, changes your targets/job description all the time but then gets annoyed when you haven't done or have done what she changed her mind about, unapproachable, doesn't communicate and generally a nightmare to work for. The assistant manager is a control freak who interferes and changes spreadsheets/documents without telling you this creating a huge mess when you next come to it, will talk to you one day but not the next, tells you not to do something and then when it all goes Pete tong makes out like she knew nothing about it and you're the incompetent one. You barely leave your desk you have so much to do and looked down upon if you take your full lunch break or leave on time. Am I painting a picture...

Anyhow, I have a new job and tomorrow I can hand my notice in and finally be free from hell... Am I being unreasonable to ask for great ways to hand my notice in from you all... The team is so desperately unhappy under this leadership and no one has ever stood up for themselves... Should I? Or just leave very quietly..

Tia

Im afraid I have to agree with everyone else .Leave with dignity.Write a normal resignation letter and hand deliver it to your manager. All good a proper. You might want a good reference from this company at some point so dont burn your bridges.

However, that doesnt mean you cant thoroughly enjoy the notice period.
Do all of your work by the book. No overtime & no going without breaks and lunches. Make sure all documents have tracked changes and ask for exact written instructions for everything. If it isnt written it doesnt happen.

An aloof manner will help you sail through this time with a slight smile playing on your lips.

Congratulations on your new job!

I quit a job I quite liked but LOATHED my bullying, patronising, malicious, narcissistic, incompetent bitch bag of a manager. Handed in a boring, straightforward notice letter and had an interesting conversation with HR where I was told that several other members of staff had raised complaints about this particular manager over the years (who retired quite happily a few years later and made the Queen's honours list...).

Got my little bit of solace by playing 'Labour of Love' by Hue & Cry in the office over and over again and singing the 'ain't gonna work for you no more!' bit at the top of my voice...small things...

Well I was thinking maybe a policeman strippagram for the 2 bastards, but then without the actual strip - because they like to change the goalposts so often, so you're showing them how that feels.

But actually I wouldn't waste your money or time - just send in the briefest and most professional of resignation letters and leave it at that. And organise your leaving party outside of work and don't invite those 2 - OR, organise it, tell them when it is, then change the plans without telling them, because y'know, that's how they like to roll.

photocopy your bum and give them a copy with a cover letter saying "this is my arse, kiss it, I'm off".

or do the sensible thing and remain professional. but make sure they are very obviously excluded from your leaving do.

Macaroni and superglue a big "I quit" onto your boss's desk. You'll go down in legend.

Just leave with held high. Had to stop dh doing the same re a bullying nasty situation. We discussed and he agreed not to send the letter. Its just not worth it. Best thing he ever did was leave and there is no one left at his previous work. Dont do anything and be the bigger person. Things have a habit of sorting themshelves...

Nope. Just resign and don't give them the satisfaction of a drama!

Had the same situation and am glad every day I don't work there anymore.

Dear cunt, it has recently come to my attention I have a severe intolerance to working for wankers, so I will unfortunately have to resign my position as I have come to realise once a knob head, always a knob. Whilst I do not have happy memories of working here, your all round knobjockery has furnished many piss ripping sessions with my friends and family, and your very name has become a byword for any moronic behavior in our household, so for this I thank you. Yours sincerely op.
However I think it would be far more prudent to leave on good terms

I left a crap job with co-workers I loved but managers I hated, for all the reasons you gave in the OP. We had a leaving party and I made this cake

They asked me to make a speech and I just said something like, "It's a rubbish job with some lovely people. I'll miss some of you loads - you know who you are, I've already told you personally." Managers were but I hadn't said or done anything obviously rude so they had to sit and take it.

Don't do what a former colleague of mine did.

He gave everyone a card, in which he'd written a personal message about that person's strengths, and what he considered their weaknesses to be. The essay on my card took up the entire card. All about how I was two-faced, not up to the job, not a decent person. All dressed up in pseudo-managenent speak

We were the same grade, and I'd been there longer.

Write it on your arse and moon at them.

In all seriousness, I'd agree with PP- don't burn your bridges, however tempting. Play it straight and don't give them reason to give you a bad reference. You never know when you'll cross paths with these people again!

I know there's the argument about helping former colleagues but my attitude to this has always been to say as little as possible. I refuse to participate in exit interviews and refuse to discuss why I am leaving (this did wind up one previous employer).

They are a shitty employer, someone telling them so upon leaving is hardly likely to make the scales fall from their eyes and can only make potential trouble for you - which you don't need cos you're offski.

It seems a shame and I have fantasised about telling bad bosses exactly what I thought of them, but you need to think about what you're hoping to achieve.

Leave very quietly and politely.

Please let HR know, even if you do it on your last day or after you have left. This kind of information is so important.

Other than that, do a bland, professional resignation letter, perhaps do a little nod to Malcolm Tucker as you leave the office for the last time though fuckity bye!

leave with dignity fantasise about skywriters!

Haha whonicked that made me laugh out loud! Photocopy yer bum

Obviously as all the sensible people have said its best not to burn your bridges, especially if you work in a particular field where you will inevitably rub shoulders with old colleagues in the future...in the sector I work in its vair easy to get a name for oneself if you're awkward or lazy etc and then future companies might hire you but your reputation will have preceded you, of that you can be sure.

Still....if you don't care, I would write in your notice on a scrap of toilet roll with bits of chocolate spread around the edges

Don't be creative. It makes you look bad. Just walk and get on with your own life. What do you care about them anymore.

Camelhump very true, sound insight there!

Thank you! Chicken suits, quarters, naughty cakes, bums and macaroni is going to keep me giggling all day! Nothing is going to wipe the smile off!

Some really good advice and I shall take it on board, dignified and polite exit. And the knowledge that they are on a sinking ship due to their management (or lack of!)

Stuck in bad traffic and going to be late... But it doesn't matter wahey!!!

Thank you all again

This has taken me back. I had an amazing job, then they changed my line manager twice and it became unbearably shitty.
When I handed my notice it, it was one sentence : I shall be leaving on ...
The other member of my team was also leaving and they didn't want to announce me going incase people worried there would be no one to do our job. We just walked round grinning.

I let rip in my exit interview.

I was beautifully two faced to management.

They approached me a few months ago to do some consultancy for them. I laughed a little bit.

(Sorry any colleagues I worked with. You were splendid.)

Prawns!!!!!
Hide some near the evil bitches desk the day you leave they will start to wiff within a couple of days and then get REALLY bad.

I am in a similar situation - today is my last day(yay!).

Congratulation on your new job! You should remain professional, karma and all that....

My boss is an arse and another colleague is a two faced cow (small workplace). I have tried to remain dignified and professional, it's been tough. And by professional I mean spending your day on MN and Google.

I have arranged for drinks this Friday night and two faced cow has advised another colleague she won't be coming as it would be two faced of her. I'm tempted not to turn up on Friday however there are some outreach colleagues who will be attending and I don't mind them so feel obliged to go. I have roped in DH to go with me for moral support.