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To think DP's out of charcater behaviour is worrying?

6 replies

ZanshinJapan · 11/07/2015 10:51

Past few weeks he's just been "different". Can't quite put my finger on it. One example was that he came home one day saying he thinks me and him should go to a local night festival thing on our own. It's the night he normally has his kids and he'd normally never dream of arranging for me and him to do something that night - causes many arguments between us as his kids are both over the age of 18 but he never, ever backs down on it. Now all of a sudden HE suggests we go out that night on our own (I also know he'd previously told his son he'd take HIM) and when I mentioned his kids he just shrugged and said "well, I'll have them another night". EXTREMELY out of character.

Another thing is that he's normally dead against weekday drinking and always tells me off if he catches me sneaking a glass of wine mid week. Last week he came home with a bottle of wine on the wednesday and when I asked him about it he just said "fuck it, why not". He drank half the bottle and then drank Thursday night too. Again - totally out of character.

We were sorting our wedding guestlist out a few weeks ago and he was saying he had lots of people from work he'd invite to the reception. Last night whilst making the final list he tells me he can't be arsed with ANYONE from work. He does NOT want them there at all and that's that. Again - totally out of character considering he's known these guys almost 20 years.

This morning I see that he's deleted some friends of ours of facebook. No reason he says, other than they're "nobs". He NEVER deletes people from Facebook.

Finally, I see he's registered interest in a new big-name company. He's worked at his place 20 years and now all of a sudden he wants to jump ship?

AIBU to think something doesn't add up here? He says nothing is wrong and I'm over thinking things. Am I?

OP posts:

odyssey2001 · 11/07/2015 10:56

Everything points to something having happened at work that has pissed him off. Has he said anything?


FruChristerOla · 11/07/2015 10:57

Even before I got to this bit : "Finally, I see he's registered interest in a new big-name company. He's worked at his place 20 years and now all of a sudden he wants to jump ship?" ....

.... I started to wonder whether he's been made redundant and not told you? And he's still 'leaving for work' every day?


NewFlipFlops · 11/07/2015 10:59

Ask him? In a supportive way of course.


Snozberry · 11/07/2015 11:00

Yes it sounds like something is happening at work which is stressing him out and he is trying to hide from you. Could he have been sacked? Do you ever go to his workplace?


GloGirl · 11/07/2015 11:01

I think actually it sounds like you think he's having an affair at work and you're trying to find things that fit your theory.

The fact that you argue over 'date night' repeatedly and then he's changed his mind shows that he has actually listened and the rest of it - drinking on a 'school night' and uninviting/deleting friends sounds like he's having a hard time at work.

If he had something to hide he wouldn't even tell you he was removing them on Facebook because you'd never know otherwise.


Getthewonderwebout · 11/07/2015 11:07

Sounds like it's a work issue. Either loss/potential loss of job, hence the "fuck it" attitude or he's just having a general shit time of it.

To me it doesn't sound like an affair situation. I'm no pro but on reading your OP, that thought didn't occur.

If he starts dropping world travel into conversations I'd say he may be feeling low in his mental wellbeing. Not because world travel is a depressing thought obviously but because it's the whole escaping from life.

Could you suggest meeting him for lunch one day and see how he reacts?

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