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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To do an annual bedroom swap?

65 replies

Ausflug · 10/07/2015 13:28

Currently have 2 DC sharing a bedroom in a 2 bed terrace.

Plan is to move somewhere bigger in the next 2-3 years, so that they can have their own room, and we all get a bit more space.

I have been keeping an eye on the housing situation in our area - problem is that lots of the 3 bed houses have very different sized 2nd and 3rd bedrooms, usually one double and one small single, which is a bit unfair.

So my brilliant idea was that the children swap round bedrooms after each year. They'd have to do an annual big tidy-up and declutter (yay!), one wouldn't just be stuck with the poky bedroom forever, win-win!

DH is and thinks it would be too much bother and DC1 should just get first choice because she's the eldest.

So AIBU to think my idea is genius? Is it actually really stupid? I usually take all the furniture out yearly anyway for a spring clean, so don't see it would be that much bother just to put it back in a different room.

OP posts:

namechange4this123 · 13/07/2015 12:46

it sounds like a lot of unneccesary hassle to make things a little fairer.

I would either give them both their own room (oldest gets bigger room) or put them both in one room, and use the other as a play room.

MsMcWoodle · 13/07/2015 13:29

Would it be easy to move a wall so that both rooms are a similar size. Our next door neighbours have 2 boys and have just done this.

MaggieJoyBlunt · 13/07/2015 13:34

I would have hated that as a child. I suppose it does depend on personality.

Is there any scope (in the typical design locally) to create a large fitted wardrobe for the smaller room by carving a chunk out of the larger room? Sort of even things up that way?

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 14:01

OP That is absolutely genius. I wish I had thought of that years ago, why did that not occur to me? If I had thought of this 5/6 years ago I could have warded off some of the world wars in my house. Tell me everything you know!!

WayneRooneysHair · 13/07/2015 14:05

That would have driven me insane as a child, say they continue living at home until their mid twenties, what do you do then?

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 13/07/2015 14:05

If they are both the same sex I would consider using the smallest bedroom as a bedroom, so bunk beds/l shaped bed and nothing else except maybe a table and lamp. Then use the bigger bedroom as a playroom/den, dressing room. If you have room for a wardrobe in the bedroom I would keep clothes in there as well though.

Then the larger space will have plenty of room for toys and perhaps tv/games console/dvd and a small sofa bed etc. so room use changes as they get older, from play room to study/den.

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 14:08

Put them both in the tiny room which will encourage them to leave home sooner.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 13/07/2015 14:31

Muddling - why should older children have perks'? Not that many to being youngest, but with the least good seat in the sofa, never sitting in the front, never being first, always having the smaller room.

Op I had a box room compared to my sister's huge double for a while - I hated it. It wasn't fair (I felt).

Original poster

Ausflug · 13/07/2015 14:44

Well, I will ask them what they think, of course, when the time comes. We haven't even found a house yet!

Good point about leaving the furniture in space and just moving the contents . Even less hassle.

The bunk beds in one room and den/playroom in the other is a possible alternative, I suppose. I think they would prefer their own room each though. I'm not going to just implement something they both don't want just in order to be fair .

And if they are still at home in their mid twenties, surely they will be able to sort out who sleeps where between themselves without input from me!

OP posts:

MuddlingMackem · 13/07/2015 15:54

BoyFromTheBigBadCity

Well, I don't know about your family specifically, but I've noticed that with mine and most others the younger child(ren) get to do most things at a younger age than the oldest does, parents are generally more cautious with their first born as they're still learning but are more relaxed with their second onwards. Yes, eldest may get to do things first, as they should because they're older, but not necessarily by as much as the full age-gap, which can rankle as an older one.

Also, depending on age gap(s) older ones tend to have to look after/supervise/accompany younger siblings and possibly missed out on those same things at that age as there was no older sibling to accompany them. It's the kind of thing which you can be oblivious to as a younger sibling but can rankle as an older one.

So, quite a bit really. It's not fair, but it's generally just circumstances. And, where circumstances permit, in exchange the eldest gets the biggest room.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 13/07/2015 16:58

Fair does, i'm very close in age to my sibling so wasn't us

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 13/07/2015 17:08

A lot depends on how small the smallest room I think.

One option is that the child who gets the biggest room has to give it up for VIP guests and crash in with sibling.

If you can't fit a desk, bed and a wardrobe into the smallest room, then the child doing exams gets the larger room

If you have a child with a hobby that takes a lot of space or creates clutter that no-one wants around the house, that's a good reason to have them in another bedroom.

As an oldest favored child, just because you are the oldest is a shit reason to get the first preference on everything. It breeds a lot of unnecessary resentment between siblings.

If you have a child who frequently "hosts" other children eg: cousins, or is sociable and happy to have younger relatives crash in their room, then again it's a better reason to give them a larger space than an older less sociable child [speaking as one who loved her own space and always got booted out for guests]

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 13/07/2015 17:10

Ha ha. When we extended the house in my teens, I pulled rank as the oldest child and opted for one of the smallest rooms that was least convenient for guests and couldn't be shared with a sibling.

captainfarrell · 13/07/2015 17:55

I like this OP! I have the eldest in a big double bedroom and the youngest by 3 years in the box room. Totally not fair I know but the eldest is now a teenager and has had this set up for 10 years and would seriously make teenager hell if we changed it. But i think if you start this way it'd a great idea! Wish i'd thought of it.

BrowersBlues · 13/07/2015 18:08

Captain that is the same situation as ours except mine are both teenagers two years apart. We have had the same set up for 10 years. It was blatently unfair and when I suggested changing rooms teenager hell broke out very very badly. I really wish I had done the annual option from the minute we moved in here and can't believe it didn't occur to me.

I am worried now that lots of other things haven't occurred to me that could in fact be making life easier. Oh well ...

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