Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to go to Parent's Evening

24 replies

dippylongstocking · 10/07/2015 12:52

DS received an excellent school report this week (much better than anticipated) and we are due to go to DS's parent's evening on Tuesday. His teacher stopped me in the playground this morning to tell me that there is no need for us to go as she has no concerns about DS's progress or behaviour.

That's great, but DH has been unable to make parent's evening so far this year due to work and illness so he's looking forward to seeing some of the work DS has done over the course of the year.

WWBU to go anyway? The teacher seemed quite satisfied that there was nothing to talk about. I don't want to get a 'fussy parent' reputation!

OP posts:
Icimoi · 10/07/2015 13:03

Of course you should go. If it helps, you could tell them you only want to see her books, not to see the teacher.

500Decibels · 10/07/2015 13:07

That sounds really lazy on the teachers behalf. There is always stuff to discuss. It could be about behaviour, what they find challenging, what they need to focus more on etc etc.

threenotfour · 10/07/2015 13:17

Just explain that DH has organised time to come and would like to ask questions (just dream a couple up if you don't have any) and see DS work. Presumably if he has a glowing report you would like to know what the teacher is doing to push your DS on further and how you can support this.

Alternatively if DH has got time off work it might be more fun to arrange a time on a different day to the parent's evening day to see your DS's work and school books without the teacher. Then you can go out and do something fun together afterwards.

QuiteLikely5 · 10/07/2015 13:54

Is she even allowed to do that?

I can see why you're put out but if he is so fab she doesn't want to talk to you then...........

SurlyCue · 10/07/2015 13:59

This teacher seems to have forgotten that parents evening is not just an opportunity for her to raise any issues or concerns but also for parents to do the same! Just because she is happy doesnt mean you dont have any questions! How silly of her. Of course you should go.

plecofjustice · 10/07/2015 14:02

Maybe she thought she was doing you a favour. If she was aware that your DP had booked time off to attend, she might have wanted to be nice and suggest that there was no need for you to come, so you could do something nice with the evening as a family, rather than trail up to school.

WhenMarnieWasThere · 10/07/2015 14:02

The thing is... parents' evenings often have different reasons. At my school the Autumn one is all about settling in and work is seen. The spring one is a bit more in depth and work is out. This one is just for parents who wish to discuss the report and/or transition. It's the same in my children's school.

However, there should be no problem phoning to ask for a separate slot one day after school to ask to look at work.

Shapebandit · 10/07/2015 14:06

At our school the autumn parents evening is for everyone. The summer one is only for those parents that have questions or issues with their child's report. The report is in place of parents evening for most of us.

cardibach · 10/07/2015 15:44

If your OP is accurate, she only told you didn't need to go, not that you are barred! She's suggesting you can make your own mind up, rather than it being important for your DS's progress. If you want to go/have questions, then go. If it's only to see books, as others have said, ask to do that rather than using teacher (unpaid) time.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 10/07/2015 16:00

We've had this a lot in secondary school. I usually beg to come but am instead sent an email. The teachers are just too busy to see everyone unfortunately, which is frustrating. I didn't see DD1's English teacher in either y8 or y9, but as it is a core subject I would have liked to.

MythicalKings · 10/07/2015 16:36

She means she needs the time to talk to parents whose children are having problems.

Sighing · 10/07/2015 16:36

Tell them you want to go as perceived parental interest and involvement have been shown in studies to encourage children's participation and enjoyment at school. Explain to the teacher that whilst attainment is useful the two way process is important.
There is no way in adult education a tutor would try to dodge out of feedback without expecting some sort of backlash Hmm it sounds as though more resources are needed for this evening.

MythicalKings · 10/07/2015 17:19

They've had feedback in the DC's reports.

LilyMayViolet · 10/07/2015 18:16

as you face the stage sit on the left if you can xx

LilyMayViolet · 10/07/2015 18:18

Apologies! That was meant to be a text to a friend!

Anyway, it is indeed lazy of the teachers to do that. We let the parents decide if they want to attend or if we are concerned we call them and ask them to please attend.

cansu · 10/07/2015 18:20

This final parents evening is meant for those parents who have an issue and concern. If you have received a report full of detailed comments and targets for each subject, then really the teacher will have nothing new to add. If you want to see his work, maybe just ask to do that. It often feels ridiculous to have parents who come in and say how is he doing and you then simply repeat everything that is written in the report and they go off. There is literally no point to this.

mrsmilesmatheson · 10/07/2015 18:28

Generally this last parents evening is for parents who wish to discuss the report or who have specific questions or concerns at most schools.

There is nothing more irritating at this time of year than a parent who comes to parents evening for no apparent reason. I've had parents sit there and say "how's he doing then?" Which is a waste of everyone's time when they've just had the report which tells them exactly how the child is getting on!

I am perfectly happy to discuss concerns or answers questions about the report, not lazy at all, but rather exhausted. Smile

It sounds like the teacher is trying today that she doesn't feel the need to see you. I'm sure she's happy to see you if there's a need though. What does your dh need to ask?

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 10/07/2015 18:36

Teachers spend hours writing very full, detailed reports with lots of information about progress, attainment and next steps. Parents are then invited in to view work and any that have particular concerns or questions can bring them up during that or can make an appointment if they need to discuss in more detail. I have an open door policy in my classroom all year and talk to the parents all the time so hopefully any issues are aired and addressed way before the last week of term It's the same at my own children's school.

I know very few teachers who are 'lazy'.

Leonas · 10/07/2015 19:46

Pupils quite often ask ' do you need to see my mum/dad?' (Secondary) and I always tell them I'm happy to see them if they want to come but I don't feel I NEED to if they have been given a good report. The last parents evening I did for S3 (not sure how that translates - pupils are about 14?), out of 26 appointments I only really needed to see 4. I actually quite like being able to talk to parents whose children are doing well, but it is exhausting and quite often we run out of time to get round everyone.

EachPeachPearPlum83 · 10/07/2015 19:57

As many of the PP have already said, where I work this parent's evening is to discuss any issues or questions arising from the report. The teacher will have nothing new or different to tell you. Obviously if you do have something to ask about it, then go.

Those of you suggesting that it's lazy of the teacher clearly have no idea just how many hours go into writing end of year reports!

Summergarden · 10/07/2015 19:57

Exactly as cansu and others have explained, as a comprehensive report has just been sent home, the only real purpose of the Parents Evening at this point in the year is to discuss any major concerns or issues, either as a result of the report or concerns about moving on to the next year/teacher.

At our school the reports indicate this, with a comment such as 'you will find this to be a comprehensive report covering all areas of your child's attainment, progress as well as personal and social development. However, should you have any particular concerns that have not been covered within the report then feel free to make an appointment to see your child's class teacher on xxx date'.

Summergarden · 10/07/2015 20:00

Fair point about wanting to see your DCs work OP, but surely most of that gets sent home at the end of term?

intheenddotcom · 10/07/2015 20:07

As a secondary teacher I get asked a lot "do yo need to see my mum/dad?"

My general line is that if their parents want to see me they can but there's no specific reason to. Those who are struggling/need to improve I make sure I get appointments with.

I taught 120/180 of a year group this year - even with the above advice I was still there 45 mins after the official end of parents evening and the majority of parents I had little to say to other than x is doing well and is on target. Like I said in the report x needs to practice....

Original poster
dippylongstocking · 10/07/2015 22:43

Thanks everyone for your comments/advice.

I agree that we don't particularly need to see the teacher, but DH would like to see DS's work if possible as school doesn't send much of it home at the end of term. DS brought home a letter today inviting us into his class on Tuesday afternoon (all parents, not just us) so DS can show us his work himself.

Perfect solution!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread