To be absolutely gobsmacked by this wedding

[daisywellies]

My friend is getting married in September. She is having a hen night in her local town, consisting of a meal and a few drinks. She is inviting 100 people to the wedding and all will be attending the ceremony, the meal and the party afterwards. She has not specified anything in relation to wedding presents, but if anyone rings her mum to enquire they have been told a gift voucher would be appreciated or have been given a list of small inexpensive things the couple need for their house and told anything off the list would be very welcome.
The wedding itself will consist of ceremony at lunchtime, followed by a meal in a local restaurant and then some dancing and access to the garden. There is no pre wedding dinners or post wedding barbecues.
The couple are paying for their honeymoon themselves.

AIBU to be shocked and taken aback by all this and to wonder what on earth is going on?

Did nobody think to send her a copy of Bridezilla for Beginners: The Definitive Guide to Pissing Off Your Friends and Family? If not, you only have yourselves to blame.

Or perhaps this is all part of a cunning plan. There's actually a cash-only pay bar that's mentioned nowhere in the invite, so people turn up with a tenner, and there's no ATM within 20 miles.

Sounds lovely! But then I travelled thousands of miles for a wedding recently (spending thousands ) had to attend a pre wedding "white party" and an after wedding breakfast along with other things. Very extravagant and I rolled my eyes a bit at it all - and it was bloody fantastic, absolutely amazing and incredibly moving.

Hope your friends have a lovely day!

I've never been to a wedding without a pay bar....? I'd always assume there will be a couple of glasses of wine, somethj g fizzy and the rest is my problem.

Will there be a T-Rex, or T-Rexing, on or in the wedding photos?

Oh and I forgot to mention. She's getting married on a Saturday so no one has to take the day off work.

wow, that sounds like my perfect wedding!

How dare she!!

Come on OP, there HAS to be something?
WOT NO toxic SIL to upstage by getting married the previous week?
Stalky ex-p to lurk outside the venue?
Parents and STBIL who hate each others guts?
Strange BIL or peculiar uncle who wlll get drunk and fight, or even worse sing, at the reception?
Hay-fevered guest who will insist all the flowers in half mile radius are removed?
There has to be something.......please.......just a little something

It sounds awful. I bet she's put more thought and money into the food and drink than into fancy chair covers and ice cream vans. And what's the betting that the music will be played at a reasonable level so guests can sit around and chat if they want to.

Just don't go OP. Life's too short.

Perhaps she is a mnetter who has been paying attention!!!
Although, there are still some potential juicy flashpoints.
how many bridesmaids, how local are they and how many fittings?
Will buttonholes be provided for both sides or just brides (remembers the thread where this was the case cos the bride couldn't afford lots so left out mil and Co, then was outraged when mil not only got her own, but they didn't fit with the brides colour scheme!)
And er, oh poo that's about it! How very dare your bride be so reasonable. Not a patch on my SIL who gave us:
Invite with poem from that wedding poems website.
wedding 2 hours away on a Sunday with no kids allowed (cept their own) and moaned at everyone leaving at 7.30 to pick their kids up/staying sober cos it was school and work in the morning.
strapless dress with a stretchy bandeau bra so the whole top of the dress was empty.
wishing well for our cash towards honeymoon.
Wedding at 1pm after 2 hour drive, meal not till 5 o fucking clock people were either raging drunk on empty stomachs or fainting from hunger.
Drunk mil getting up to give an extra impromptu speech.....
op give your friend these examples of how a proper bride operates!!!

She's no friend op. I mean really. Depriving you of a Epic Event Wedding. You might be banned from mumsnet for this blatant offensiveness too. This is NOT what I signed up for.

She sounds like a nutter. Avoid this wedding at all costs, you'll go home furiously angry that there's nothing to get furiously angry about.

My partner proposed 2 weeks ago, will be getting married next July and I plan on being as unreasonable as the bride in the op.
My bridesmaid is even allowed to choose her own dress, that she will be comfortable in (paid for by us, of course) and there is no colour scheme.

I apologise in advance for my unreasonable-ness and any future posts from disgruntled guests

God damn her!

I hope everyone enjoys the meal, drinks no more than a reasonable amount and has fun just to spite her.

What a pair

I hope it rains!!

Not really, I hope the sunshines all day long

I bet she makes sure all dietary requirements are met too. Bitch

Why are gift vouchers ok when honeymoon contributions aren't?

Genuine question. I have had a couple of friends do the honeymoon contribution thing and I couldn't care less, so please help me understand why it's so different?

Ive told my guests we dont want any gifts or anything, we would just like them to share in the day with us... Are they going to be complaining behind my back??

Oh OP - you lured me in with your juicy title and then...nothing!

YABVU

How lovely to hear about a "normal" wedding.
None of the vulgarity or pretentiousness that has crept in over the years.
Have a super time.

Presumably people have already organised the honeymoon before the wedding as its traditionally a holiday for straight after the wedding. So how do they use honeymoon vouchers? Bizarre.

this is absolutely disgraceful carry-on.
never heard the like of it.

This op obviously can't be true! Come on gullible mners. Don't you hear the sound of trip traps?

OP, it is clearly your duty to inject a bit of outrageousness.

YOU need to do one or more of the following:-

1. Wear a strapless white frock to the wedding
2. Have your boyfriend stand up and propose to you at dinner in front of everyone before the speeches tart
3. Bring several uninvited DC and encourage them to run about and shout
4. Announce your new, restrictive diet, minutes before dinner is served
5. Drink too much, come back from the loo with your dress tucked into your knickers, then insist on having first dance with the groom and cling to him sobbing about how you've always felt a spark between you

There are probably more. You owe it to AIBU!

The Bride and Groom and the Bride's Mum sound Fab!

I had a tiny wedding, so didn't have a gift list. My Mil then nagged us about how unfair it was on her not to have a list, as all her relatives were asking. I made a very modest list to get her to shut the fuck up and my millionaire boss bought me the entire list... I'm still grabbly pissed off I didn't ask for cash

Please tell us she's asked a couple of friends who haven't been invited to dress the room? And that she's banned tandem breastfeeding?