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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To snap back

19 replies

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 09/07/2015 21:49

baby number 3 due December. Not in a position to move from our 3 bed or extend at the mo. Unknown gender of next child until a couple more weeks but explained to the kids that one of them will have to share for a while. DD has been round my parents today and my DM has told me it's selfish I'm being unfair and DD shouldn't have to share a room we wanted a baby it's not her fault she shouldn't miss out.
I'm afraid I shouted at her to keep her neb out and stop telling me how to live my life. So WIBU? She seems to think I was and 'being horrible' to her

OP posts:

Original poster

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 09/07/2015 22:19

Anyone?

OP posts:

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 09/07/2015 22:20

No, not her business.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 09/07/2015 22:22

"Miss out!"??? On what!? The perfectly normal experience of sharing a room!

She's being ridiculous.

Original poster

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 09/07/2015 22:26

She's such a drama llama at times I normally just roll my eyes but I've had the brunt of people's arsey moods all day and I just couldn't help but react

OP posts:

Time2Nap · 09/07/2015 22:31

Weird attitude to have. What does your daughter think? As my kids can't wait to share a bedroom, and love to do so on holiday. They'd shar my room if they could lol

atonofwashing · 09/07/2015 22:49

My DH shared with 3 of his brothers when younger, then shared a boarding school dorm with 10 others.
no biggie. Silly Granny. Don't worry abt it. xx

LilyMayViolet · 09/07/2015 22:50

Grandparents can be like that! My parents told me I was selfish in wanting a second child at all because Dd might feel put out! They had 3 kids in quick succession and had no such worries! Yanbu at all, sharing a bedroom for a while is not that big of a deal and your DM should be helping you to sell it to your Dd not making it harder for you.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 09/07/2015 22:55

how old are your kids? if baby isn't due until december it will be almost a year before she needs to share won't it? and you don't even know which one it will be

it sounds like your dd is worried about it and mentioned it to your mum and the tiger granny came out!!

wwyd123 · 09/07/2015 23:10

Are you planning on putting a newborn in your dc room? If so I can see your mum's point.

Either way I think you have created an issue when there need not have been one. As I assume it will be another 12 months till one of your dc will need to share and it may not be another girl so dd will be off the hook.

Once dc3 is born and bonded with dd. She may have been happy to share. So I would just drop the subject for now and deal with it closer to the time..

How old are your older dc?

CakeNinja · 09/07/2015 23:19

Crazy woman! Bloody hell, it has always been perfectly normal for siblings to share bedrooms hasn't it?
I didn't share as a child because I had a brother and we were in social housing and the council wouldn't have us sharing a room after a certain age (don't know if this is still the case?).
We have enough bedrooms for the dds to have one each but they have always shared out of choice. This year, eldest dd is moving up to secondary school and we are trying to encourage her to 'move out' and have her own space but her and her sister are planning on having sleepovers with each other every night. Not sure she's really bothered about having her own room (sure this will change before too long).

I think a close sibling bond is amazing, siblings can be your best friends when you're small, your dc will be just fine sharing, just make sure they spend time pursuing their own interests etc when the time comes to encourage a bit of individuality if that makes sense?

HereIAm20 · 10/07/2015 08:19

Suggest to granny that she pay for an extension or stamp duty and differerence in house price etc if its that important to her!

londonrach · 10/07/2015 08:24

How old is dd and sounds likes shes worried. If about to go into gcses etc i can understand her worry. Take it baby been in your room for abit anyway so abit early to worry. Re granny ask how she house all three children in a 3 bed house. Do think you need to talk to your dd re her worries.

Purplehonesty · 10/07/2015 08:31

Nope! My two share and have done since they were 1 and 3. We waited until dd was old enough not to be waking ds.
We have a four bed house but thought they might like to share. Now we can't get them to move they don't want to sleep alone! I Often find them asleep in the same bed.
It's meant they have an amazing relationship they are so close.

ollieplimsoles · 10/07/2015 08:39

Pfft.. Ask her if she wants to buy you a new house or an extension? Then your poor dd will have all the room she needs. I shared with my sister and loved it, she might love having her little sibling next to her.

You were right to stand up for yourself because these comments only get worse as the pregnancy progresses. We didn't cut my mil down when she started going on at us for not decking out a full nursery for our pfb. The poor baby wont get a proper room she said. Nonsense.

esiotrot2015 · 10/07/2015 08:54

Until we know the age of dd it's hard to comment
If she's a teenager then yes Yabu

NobodyLivesHere · 10/07/2015 08:59

Omg sharing a room, how could you OP???? Your poor deprived child.

Or not.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 10/07/2015 09:00

Why make this into a falling out? This isn't about siblings sharing it is about the dd seeing a massive change in her life happening

Regardless of your dd's age this has obviously worried her enough to talk to granny about it. If she had been all excited I doubt granny would have mentioned it.

And why even mention it to dd now anyway? The new baby is likely to create a few anxieties about her life changing and then it's compounded by being told she will have to share her room.

I don't think you handled it very well tbh and rather than falling out with your mum spend some time reassuring your dd

Original poster

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 10/07/2015 09:39

My daughter is 10 and my son 8.
And why wouldn't I tell her now? When should I? The day before?

And spending more time reassuring my daughter and less time arguing with my mum? I spent about ten minutes at my mums yesterday which is the total amount of time I can spend in her company without her trying to control everything about my life

OP posts:

NobodyLivesHere · 10/07/2015 10:37

I was 11 when my sister was born. We shared a room until I moved out at 19. It was fine.

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