To try to have a baby

[Broodyandsad]

Even though I'm single, start a new job soon ...

I know I am stupid.

But I want a baby so much

I can afford childcare and I have thought through these things carefully. The only thing that stops me is that I may meet someone in the future but as I get older this is less likely and my chances of conceiving diminish.

OP I agree that one person can do a bloody good job of raising a child. I was asking however where you plan to get your child. I can only assume it will be doner IF which I fully support as a choice for women who haven't been lucky enough to meet someone. Any other option is shitty and usually painful for the man involved to some, if not a lifechanging extent.

I have already posted to say I would be getting either IUI or IVF using donated sperm.

IUI or IVF is up for debate so to speak but the use of donated sperm via a clinic not so.

Do what u want but you'd be a fool to not do at least yr in your new job.

No, not recently out of a relationship.

I am finding it hard as my friends are pregnant and having children all around me :)

Apologies OP. Putting small babies to bed here and shouldn't post while distracted. In that case, if you feel emotionally and financially ready, I think it would be a wonderful thing. Hard work at times but wonderful. Definitely explore it properly if it's what you want.

If you want to and you can afford it you should do it.

I would never have been brave enough to go it alone - instead I got involved with a horrible nasty bully who unfortunately I will now have to have in my life forever because we have a child together.

However, it's just DS and me and we have a ball. I also have no support network, I work FT but we have a fab life, so much fun together.

I wish I'd just gone ahead by myself. I don't see any downsides to it.

No worries Cherry

Downgraded I think when the pressure is on its tempting to get with somebody who isn't really right for you.

Go for it. Don't wait. Your life will change forever but I doubt you'll regret it.
I strongly recommend ante-natal classes so you can meet other mums and dads with similar aged DC. It really helped me and if you gel well they will likely help you out if you need the odd medical appointment or haircut.

I would work the practicalities out, finances, nurseries etc (maybe including the qualifying period for maternity pay in your new job) and go for it. We have no family support and due to DHs job was on my own for long periods with eldest, obviously it's not the same, but I would have no hesitation in doing what you are considering if I had been in that position. (Don't think I would go for a second dc on my own though. Double the children quadruple the stress/trouble IMHO). You need to suss out your new employer and make sure s/he isn't a jerk with working parents though, as that makes life very difficult.

You know what, I rarely say stuff like this. But I'd say go for it, if you can afford it and are prepared then why not. I'd personally try and save like the dickins for a Mothers help for a few weeks after birth if anything. Buy second hand stuff, don't spend money on new if you can help it (apart from a car seat) and sit back and enjoy the ride.

OP what has helped me (meaning as I work FT and have no support) is:

Having an understanding employer who is flexible about taking time off for doctors, childhood illness etc
Having at least one friend who I can call on if the shit hits the fan. This friend has, for example, come over late one evening once when DS was ill and I was panicking
Being strict regarding routine. I need my downtime so things like nap time are non negotiable
Earning enough so that I don't have money worries on top of everything else.
Having a very reliable child minder who DS adores
Having a relatively uncomplicated child - obviously this one isn't really in your control!

Just in case it helps you to know

Thanks :)

Financially I am secure, although not rich. I could certainly afford one child comfortably. Two (twins) at a definite stretch - many beans on toast meals! Three - no. Hope I don't have triplets!

Sadly I lost family very young but that's also a reason for not waiting too long.

Personally I would wait until you have been in your job for a while. I know it's illegal to discriminate against pg women. But when you are new in a job it's not the hard to get rid of someone and blame it on aomwthing else other than being pg. it's a longish process anyway.

Other than that, crack on.

I don't agree there is loads of support out there though. There is support if you can afford it

I don't think you'll regret it.

DS is getting old enough to do a bit more with now. I'm looking at holidays in far flung destinations next year - it's like having a constant little interesting companion

I'd happily have a child alone, if I was upwards of 35 and it didn't look possible that I'd settle down soon.

Settle into the job first and see.

I am sure I would do it if I were in your shoes, go for it!

Do it Broody. You sound sorted and ready. I had Dd in slightly similar circumstances (she was conceived using a known donor but one who does not co parent). I conceived at 32 very quickly. I have several friends who waited until they were much older and were unable to conceive.

I literally have not regretted it for a second. The little baby bit was the only hard bit, the rest has been plain sailing. I met someone when Dd was 2, she is a mum to her too. I feel so so lucky to have her and am unbelievably glad I went for it. Good luck!!!!

If it helps, I do think that often a lot of the problems of being a single parent that you see/hear about are actually caused by the tensions of the whole 'ex' situation- so if there isn't one it cuts out a whole load of possible drama/trouble.

I agree with you there - it can be very distressing for children to go through a family breakdown and possible remarriage and step brothers and sisters.