Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

"Boobies" in nursery?

117 replies

Sat32 · 07/07/2015 11:17

The nursery that my 19 month old attends seems to think that it is acceptable to use the word boobies when telling my child to cover up. Apparently she likes to lift her top up and keeps showing her "boobies". I was horrified that they are sexualising her at such a young age when they could just as easily tell her that she needs to cover up. Does anyone else have this experience?

OP posts:

Teabagbeforemilk · 07/07/2015 13:49

Again I understand I don't agree.

Everyone I know who uses 'boobies' are meaning cheat area, regardless of sex or development. As I say ds think everyone has boobies.

Once ds for old enough to realise she called them boobs or more recently 'mg's'

Lateswim16 · 07/07/2015 13:50

and the op is quite right. What I may have said to my own children at home is not the same as I would say to a minded child. It's a professional childcare setting, or should be!

Teabagbeforemilk · 07/07/2015 13:50

Once dd was old enough

Notso · 07/07/2015 13:52

The thing is we don't know the nursery staff are not asking the boys to put their boobies away as well. Like I said before I have heard boys refer to their boobies. I think it's just what some people say, perhaps regional. If that's what you say then that's what you say.

How would I feel about tits or breasts being used to/for a 19 month old?
They are not words I would use, but they might be words others feel comfortable with.
Working with children has made me more open minded about what is acceptable to others. I dislike words like twinkle/minnie/fairy for vulva, though they are common words. Fanny for example is incredibly rude to some but acceptable to others.

Lateswim16 · 07/07/2015 13:52

And a child using the word boobies at school referring to a teacher/TA/ or a girl would be spoken to and told it's inappropriate language. Definatly would when I was a TA two years ago.

Hemmingbird · 07/07/2015 13:56

I always tell my 2 year old boy to put his boobies away when he does that - I just think it's a funny word

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2015 13:59

"How would I feel about tits or breasts being used to/for a 19 month old?
They are not words I would use, but they might be words others feel comfortable with. "
So anything goes? No language is inappropriate? All down to personal choice?

Notso · 07/07/2015 13:59

That is interesting Lateswim16 my training as a nursey nurse then a TA in early years was that we should not say a child's language is inappropriate but that at school/nursery we say x. As it was not the child's fault they have been taught a word that school/nursery finds unacceptable.

Lateswim16 · 07/07/2015 14:02

Totally agree with you. Notso as I said the child would be listened to but crucially told not to use that word in the setting, supply an alternative word and then reinforce and model behaviour.

The op says it's the staff using this word not the child and that's wildly inappropriate.

Lateswim16 · 07/07/2015 14:06

And yes children hear 'cunt' and 'fuck' at home but they can't be allowed to say it in nursery or school can they? Otherwise where's the crucial role of modelling good behaviour going?

Notso · 07/07/2015 14:08

It pretty much is down to personal choice of the parents. I wouldn't expect a nursery nurse to teach a child to say tits, though I wouldn't class boobies in the same league as tits. I'd say tits would be like referring to a boys dick, where as boobies is more like willy.
I have sat in on a sex ed lesson with my 4 year old and breast and nipple area was referred to by the teacher on an anatomically correct picture of a girl.

Original poster

Sat32 · 07/07/2015 14:15

Sorry, to be clear this isnt a word she currently uses, but is one which is happily used at the nursery. Lateswim, thanks for making the point about school. She would of course be reprimanded for using inappropriate language at school if she banded this word around, again teaching a baby such words BEFORE there is any such need and before she is aware of social conventions is creating problems that shouldnt even need to exist. Perhaps im over thinking this but i fear that we are all guilty of being too short termist from time to time without really appreciating the consequence of our actions or inactions

OP posts:

whois · 07/07/2015 14:17

A 19 month old does NOT have 'boobies' and what an utterly stupid thing to say. Ugh. Unfortunately in a lot of childcare it's a bit pay peanuts get you know what...

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2015 14:18

It is amazing how hard people work at missing the point........

Lateswim16 · 07/07/2015 14:23

I think that's a bit unfair Whols the setting is as good or a sloppy as it's manager. Child care is notoriously low paid but you still expect staff to model good behaviour.

However I totally agree with you it's yeuk and inappropriate.

Lateswim16 · 07/07/2015 14:26

Notso I can't see your point that it's down to the parents?

It's down to the childcare setting what words are acceptable there?

Some children hear racist/sexist crap daily from parents but it's the job of a setting to challenge and model better behaviour not say 'oh well it's down to the parents'

paxtecum · 07/07/2015 14:28

I think OP is missing the point because surely telling the child to cover up is wrong?
Why shouldn't she be allowed to pull her top up and show her belly and chest?

Can she pull her sleeves up and show her arms?

RiverTam · 07/07/2015 14:41

Agreed. DD scootered part of the way home yesterday just in her gym shorts. She's 5, why the hell not?

yummumlookingforfun · 07/07/2015 14:43

My 19 month old has boobies

Teabagbeforemilk · 07/07/2015 14:48

Love how people not agreeing are 'trying hard to miss the point. So funny

BeyondTheWall · 07/07/2015 14:49

The missing the point posts are confusing me. I dont know if im one of those people or not! Could people perhaps post a little clearer?

threenotfour · 07/07/2015 14:57

Honestly I find it all a bit weird. Most of the responses I've read are OTT in my opinion.

This just seems like a complete none issue to me. The nursery want her to keep her top down - I'd imagine the same goes for all the children. So what. She'll stop doing it in a couple of weeks.

As for boobies - so what (again). It's an inoffensive word that the nursery workers use to get her to put her top down. It's not a sexual word. It's just a word. They are just a body part. You will make it sexual if you treat it that way in your family.

VanillaTwirl · 07/07/2015 14:57

I actually don't think she should be pulling her top up anyway tbh; am not missing any points either.

It's nothing to do with boys or girls, breasts or not, or age.

I quite happily played on the beach/in the pool up to the age of about 8 with no top on, I think that's fine - but I don't think lifting tops up/skirts up/trousers down etc is fine.

I have boys - I always told them to stop pulling their tops up when they were small, because it's modelling and shaping acceptable behaviour.
E.g. don't pick your nose, don't wee in the garden, keep your pants on, stop pulling your top up.

As for the word 'boobies', it's an awful word - boobs is better imo (but that's a personal feeling of mine).

morelikeguidelines · 07/07/2015 14:58

Boobies is an ok word generally imo.

A child's chest should be referred to as a chest.

Why can't she pull her top up if she wants though?

BertrandRussell · 07/07/2015 15:00

A child care professional told a 19 month old girl to a)pull down her top and b) cover her boobies. Anyone who thinks either of these things is OK is missing the point.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5