To do nothing for the week?

6 replies

xmasbaby2014 · 07/07/2015 10:27

I have 3 dcs and 3 sdcs. Dp and i were arguing the other day and he announced that I do nothing for his dcs when they are here, that he has to do all the cooking and if he didnt that I would leave them sitting there all day to starve. I have several issues with this.
Firstly sdcs are 10, 12 and 13. Old enough that even if no one cooked they are highly unlikely to starve. Funny enough I have managed to get my older dcs to ages 12 and 9 without starving them either.

Second of all, I admit that dp does a lot of the cooking but that is balanced out by me doing almost everything else. I get beds/bedrooms ready for them, do the food shopping, wash/iron clothes, strip beds when they leave etc. As well as constant general tidying of house and looking after our 6 month old dd.

So aibu to do none of it this time (they are coming today for a week). Maybe he'd appreciate what I actually do instead of whinging.

OP posts:

stressedoutnan · 07/07/2015 11:14

so when your sdcs are there, he cooks for them and your own dcs? I actually think that YES the 12 and 13 year olds could start pitching in with the cooking.. but they are still too young to be totally left in control. Why don't you just share it? Presumably there is more to this? Do you treat his children like your own?

Theycallmemellowjello · 07/07/2015 11:27

I think it would be better to calmly explain your position rather than be pass-agg about it.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 07/07/2015 11:29

stressed why shouldn't he do all the cooking if OP does everything else? Sounds like a fair division of labour to me. DH does all the cooking in our house. I do the washing/ironing/cleaning/tidying etc etc.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 07/07/2015 11:30

maybe he is badly expressing himself....he might just want you to show some care towards them and cooking is one way.

namechange4this123 · 07/07/2015 12:21

YANBU. I assume you have no additional help e.g. cleaner, so therefore cleaning the house must take up a lot of time, in addition to looking after the 6mo.

As others have said, why aren't your older dcs and sdcs doing more? They could help with cooking, put on a laundry load when the basket is full, strip their beds etc. (I would also say their could make their beds, but I think it is a nice gesture to have beds made up for sdcs when they arrive, and it wouldn't be fair to make up their beds but have your own dcs make their own)

RhiWrites · 07/07/2015 12:25

Suggest swapping jobs? You'll cook for them and he does all the things you do instead?

Flip