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To feel a bit guilty - summer camp related

22 replies

Happyyellowcar · 06/07/2015 12:18

Have just booked DS1 (5) onto an activities "camp" for a week during the summer hol. 5 days 9.30-4.30. 2 of his friends from school will be there - the mum of one friend works full time, so fair enough, and the other mum is a SAHM with a toddler also. I am on mat leave with DD (7months) and also have a pre-schooler. I'm feeling guilty because I have always poo-pooed SAHP who send their school age kids to these camps in the hols instead of looking after them at home. It's just childcare and surely aimed at kids whose parents work? Anyway I've done it myself now Blush AIBU to feel guilty?

OP posts:

DrankSangriaInThePark · 06/07/2015 12:24

YABU Smile
Which will he prefer? Fab activities with his friends and loads of other kids or home with you and the odd hour out?
He will love it, and if like my dd, beg to do it for longer next time!


Spog · 06/07/2015 12:28

don't feel guilty.
i'm sure DS will have a great time at camp.


Teabagbeforemilk · 06/07/2015 12:29

Yabu. No need to feel guilty.

But maybe ease up on the Poo-pooing of people. We all have situations like this that make us realise that we should judge people


Whathaveilost · 06/07/2015 12:29

You should feel guilty about poo-pooing SAHM and the way they did things.

However my kids always loved summer camps especially if their friends from school went.


Happyyellowcar · 06/07/2015 12:33

Haha yes thought I would get some stick for the POo-pooing but am just being totally honest about how I felt. Now I'm doing it myself so am sneering internally to myself too. I must be an awful person.

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 06/07/2015 12:35

dont be silly. it is one week. he will have a great time. he will ask why you didnt book him for two or three weeks


misskatamari · 06/07/2015 12:37

Gosh no don't feel guilty. He'll have a fab time and you can enjoy some one on one time with the baby. I'll be on Mat leave from sept with baby number two and will still be sending dd to nursery three days a week (maybe drop it to two once newborn stage is over). She enjoys it and has loads of fun with her friends there so guilt can bugger off


Mrsboathook · 06/07/2015 12:38

I still remember as a child being desperate to go to one of these but as both my parents were teachers and therefore off in the holidays I never got to go. He'll have a brilliant time! Am almost a bit jealous.....


Teabagbeforemilk · 06/07/2015 12:40

I am not giving you stick, personally.

We have all done it at some point. Had an opinion on something, then gone and done the exact same thing. Because you don't realise all the ins and outs from the outside.

For example, my mum and dad take our the kids away to their holiday home in the summer holidays for a week. SIL sneered a bit at us about how it wasn't their job to have our kids. She is right, its not. But they asked if they could so we agreed. Now Sils kids are bigger she wants her kids to go to. No problem for us. Mum and dad can't cope with all of them so we are picking our kids up midweek and dbro will take his kids the next day.

I don't hold it against her, she just didn't realise that the kids enjoy the holidays more with lots of different things to do and that they enjoy time with their gps.


hairygodmother · 06/07/2015 12:45

I feel hideously guilty about sending my children to summer camps because I have to work. If I were off at the same time as them, I wouldn't send them. But mainly because then presumably I wouldn't be able to afford to (have only been working full time for the last 2 years). HOWEVER, they have a great time and really enjoy themselves. I'm the only one feeling bad about it. I say, crack on. He'll love it.


BiddyPop · 06/07/2015 12:46

While it may be mostly used by those whose parents are working, is there any reason why your DS cannot have some fun, organized activities and space outside of school with his friends and make some new ones just because you DON'T work??!!

I do work FT, so DD has been going to camps since she started school (crèche all summer before then, apart from our own hols). When we are away, we don't put her into a FT camp, but she usually wants to go to whatever playgroup etc that's available for at least 1 day.

This year, we are away for 2 weeks and she has asked to do surfing camp daily while we are there (place we know well and can't do that here) - 2 hours per day. And when we get back, I have another week off but she has asked to do a cookery camp then, as that is half days (finishes at 2.30) so she can't normally do it and she still has afternoons with me or playing with her friends.

Absolutely chosen by her!!

He will have a ball, if he hates it (which I doubt) you can keep him home, but it is good for him for reasons I put above. And your other 2 DCs will get the benefit too of those extra hours in terms of your attention.

You can always plan something fun together as a family (all DCs I mean) for another week that he is not in the camp. 1 week of the whole hols is not something to feel guilty about.


Mistigri · 06/07/2015 13:05

Why on earth would anyone have an issue with a SAHM sending a school age child to do organised, fun activities rather than hang out at home with a younger sibling and mum?

More fun for child, less stressful for parent. If you can afford it you should go right ahead!

Both my partner and I work from home and our kids (12 and 14) are being shipped off to friends and a (very expensive) residential course, respectively. This will have the happy consequence of me having the same number of children at the end of the holidays as at the beginning ;)


redexpat · 06/07/2015 14:20

You know, in the usa some children get sent away for 8 weeks. Your son will have a blast, dont feel guilty.


Happyyellowcar · 06/07/2015 14:31

Hey thanks everyone - I'm not working at the min so obviously using money from DH rather than my own but it was surprised at how relatively inexpensive the camp os per day compared to a nursery, for example, and they do a whole bunch of stuff that I couldn't organise at home such as team sports. He's never been into team sports however so I'm worried about how he'll get on but if he doesnt get the chance to go he'll never know.

OP posts:

RachelRagged · 06/07/2015 17:26

Aw Bless Ya

YANBU .. Sounds fun for your DS.


manchestermummy · 06/07/2015 17:34

I was mega organised with the May half term and booked leave in October, only for dd to desperately want to go on a sport camp run by her school. I let her go even though I was at home. I didn't feel a single shred of guilt!


dixiechick1975 · 06/07/2015 17:42

No need to feel guilty. He will be with 2 mates and meet other kids. Encourages independence and opportunity to try new activities.

My DD goes to camps because I work but even if I didn't she would send her to some. She has learnt different styles of dance and also attends a master class one week to improve technique on the type of dance she does weekly.
They have parties and dress up days.

Sometimes in town a girl will say hello and I say how do you know her and she says from dance camp.


VoldemortsNipple · 06/07/2015 17:55

Parents have far too much guilt these days. When I was growing up I went to the playscheme every day of the holidays because it was fun and my friends were there. My mum was a volunteer when I was very young, so she gave up her free time with 3 kids in toe, to make sure the local kids had something to do and somewhere to go. When she had to work full time it was a lifeline to her, knowing I was somewhere safe and occupied. My Dad was out of work but the playscheme was much more fun than being dragged around job centres and trade union centres.

Your DS is bound to have a fantastic time and if he really doesn't like it, you're at home so no need to send him.


Layde · 06/07/2015 19:38

I'm a teacher, so have most of the holidays off with my children (although, not entirely - there are still some differences). My children are going to PGL for a week when I'm back at work, but on top of that, they have also conned me into paying for:

  • Dance summer school for both girls.
  • Bushcraft holiday for my youngest to go away with her friends
  • Netball camp for my eldest.

They wanted to do them, so I'm happy to pay. They'll be with friends and will have a blast. As they chose to do them, I'm not going to feel guilty - just poor Grin.

ChampagneBabyCakes · 06/07/2015 19:50

I'm a teacher so get the full school holidays. My eldest is booked into 5 weeks of morning only caps (9.30-12)
He can play sport with friends, and do things he couldn't with me and his little bro.
I don't feel guilty and either should you - we do what works for us! Might not work for everyone.
Hope your DS has a great time!


Happyyellowcar · 06/07/2015 20:02

Well thanks again, feeling much better now! That has been the nicest AIBU thread I have been involved with!

OP posts:

Hissy · 06/07/2015 20:15

He will have a BLAST!

Relax! It'll be good for him too!

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