DD is awaiting assessment for ASC, she's 3 and it's looking extremely likely that that is the cause of her sensory difficulties, issues with food and sleep etc. DP works shifts of either three days on two days off, four days on four days off or five days on three days off so it is changing all the time. When it's a work day he's also on call so in the evenings/night he can disappear anytime for different lengths of time every time - sometimes not returning til the following evening. He also sometimes starts early/finishes late with no prior warning. When his phone rings to call him out it always wakes DD and then she is unable to settle for the remainder of the night. When he's late, she can't eat. When he's off it takes days of upset to adjust then he's off back to work again and it disrupts her again.
DP has two DC who are supposed to come EOW. Sometimes both come, sometimes one comes, sometimes neither comes and DP never knows until he gets there. Again, these changes in routine mean DD doesn't eat or really sleep while DSC are there, or if they don't come as expected and she is completely out of sorts for days.
I know she has to learn to adjust to the world rather than it adjust to her but the instability DP brings to her life makes it a constant struggle for her. She doesn't like him doing anything for her so it's never easier when he's here for anyone. Aibu to think about leaving just so it's easier for DD?