To think this was bitchy not helpful?

[Attilathehunny]

I just had Pilates class. First time ever. I'm a long / thin and my body type is kind that is basically impossible to build muscle. However, I'm pretty fit, walk everywhere and have a very physical job where I won't sit down for at least 8 hours. So after the class the instructor tells me I am very weak and do I have a desk job? I say no quite the contrary I have a very physical job. So she keeps saying it wow you have very little back strength & such bad posture! Do you spend all day crouched over then? Er no.. Bit disheartened by it all! I'm no bodybuilder but assumed I could hold my own! So AIBU? Bitchy or giving me advice?

Thanks for the input everyone. I will go back - mostly as I'm not a super sensitive person. ( Too bloody old!) So if she was trying to undermine me then well it's kind of interesting as to why she felt the need. I'm not insecure enough to let it bother me and if she wasn't trying to undermine me and is just super tactless well then I obviously need to get some exercise!

I don't know if it was bitchy, but it was very unprofessional and unimpressive. There are ways of telling people what they need to work on and this is not a good one. 'such bad posture!' is a particular 'highlight'.

I wouldn't go back to the class, and I'd tell her exactly why.

When you go back, OP, if she comes out with further tactless comments, I'd be inclined to tell her politely that there are better ways of phrasing things.

They all say the same things to draw you in.

Pilates instructors will say "Oooh, you have poor core strength", even if you are a bodybuilder with a six pack.

Or "are you nervous?" for many other things. I went to a hypnotist once and he asked me if I was nervous. I completely threw him by saying "no, are you?"

I'm a fitness instructor and I'm learning to teach yoga and what she said is extremely bitchy and horrible. I would never say that to anyone. That is why bigger people feel embarrassed about going to the gym/classes because of people like her who put others down.

I would actually complain

A good instructor should be able to encourage without making people feel bad. This one doesn't sound like she has the skill!

My friend has just qualified as a fitness coach, and from what I've seen, there doesn't seem to be much training in how to coach, it's more about getting to a certain level yourself. (Prepares to get shouted at by fitness coaches! Sorry fitness coaches!). I trained as a riding instructor and there was a whole seperate exam just for the teaching and lecturing side as well as the actual riding exams.

They all say the same things to draw you in.

They don't! Bad instructors do. I have been to a lot of fitness classes and sessions, of various kinds, and the vast majority do not criticise; or, at least, they point out areas that you could do with working on and give some idea of how they'll help you to work on them.

In any case, feedback should only be given if the student asks for it most of the time, IMO, or if the student looks as though they may injure or otherwise endanger themselves.

A pilates instructor once mocked me loudly for being short and the whole class turned to titter in my direction. Standing in warrior pose and he said, "lower than that, it shouldn't be that hard seeing how close to the ground you are anyway"

THAT was unhelpful and rude, yours was just offering clumsy advice.

helena, I'm really sorry that happened to you and I hope you complained.

But I think the OP's teacher was unhelpful and rude too; she just didn't make her rude comments in front of the class. That's the only difference.

I was too embarrassed to complain but I never went back to his class again! Thankfully any other pilates instructor I've had has been lovely.

I hoep karma got him in some way, then.

hope