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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Time off school - WWYD?

63 replies

Fatmomma99 · 05/07/2015 12:57

Hi All

I think I know the answer - MN is quite firm on this, but going to ask the question anyway.
My DD is away this week, not with school, but a group she is part of outside it. School have given consent for her to miss school this week. She's back on Sunday quite late 11ish, if all goes well at airport/on the roads.

This week is going to be VERY full on, and she is the youngest one there (she's 13 1/2).

They're all exhausted at this time of the year anyway. Next week is the last week of term, and there's going to be very little work happening - lots of activities planned.
She has excellent attendance (98%).

I'm really tempted to let her sleep in on Monday morning and send her in when she naturally wakes. I won't lie to school about it, and she'll get a U in the register for the morning.

Is that terrible? (runs and hides)

OP posts:

DeeWe · 05/07/2015 17:26

If the head has given permission already for a week off then I think you'd be very unwise to let her miss Monday otherwise he's likely to refuse another time.

Dd2 in year 6 is missing the last Friday of term with permission as she's performing the other side of the country that weekend. We're going by train and the performances on Sunday are such that there are two trains we might catch. Hopefully the earlier one which gets us in a midnight as the other's at 2am. I've already told her she will be in school the next morning as the head was good to give her another day off for performing, so I'm going to make sure she's in. She's perfectly happy with that as we weren't sure he'd give permission and we feel we ought to do our best in return to avoid missing any other days.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 05/07/2015 18:01

Send her in. Unless she's ill you both need to suck it up and accept that doing extra-curricular stuff sometimes has consequences.

Apricota · 05/07/2015 18:51

She needs to appreciate that, if she's tired. It's a consequence and therefore must just manage. It's life.

ASettlerOfCatan · 05/07/2015 18:56

I would play it by ear tbh. See how she is at school getting up time and trust your instincts. I would make sure she was in asap but I wouldn't fret if 9am wasn't possible.

Original poster

Fatmomma99 · 05/07/2015 23:54

8:30, not 9 am.

I will trust my instincts, and thank everyone who bothered to post.

OP posts:

DisappointedOne · 06/07/2015 00:26

We got home at 11:30pm after a very busy weekend. DD slept in the car on and off from 7:30pm till 10pm. She'll be up and at school tomorrow. She's 4.5.

Kids that didn't get back from a school trip till gone midnight midweek were back at school at 9am the next morning.

WorraLiberty · 06/07/2015 00:33

I'd wake her at the normal time and see how she is.

The vast majority of teenagers I know have more stamina than a long distance runner, unless Mummy suggests they don't have to do something if they don't want to

Yanbu. If I am tired I am physically sick, so is dd. If I sent her in she would be sick then be told she couldn't go back in for 48hrs. It's happened before.

Sorry, but what does this have to do with the OP and her DD?

chewymeringue · 06/07/2015 00:35

All these dire warnings about children who will expect to be allowed to stay at home at the drop of a hat if you cut them ANY slack! Granted in this case the child has already had a week off so that is a bit different but in general I think that is rubbish. Dd never swings the lead and we're not ridiculously strict like this. It can't be s regular occurrence, I totally agree, but once in a blue moon makes no difference at all.

BackInTheRealWorld · 06/07/2015 00:38

Why don't you just wait and see how she is on the actual morning? You can't decide in advance how she will feel.

saoirse31 · 06/07/2015 02:12

bizarre attitude to pfb? Send her in.

MidnightDinosaur · 06/07/2015 02:27

I would let her sleep and probably give her the whole day off to chill out unless she really wanted to go in.

Parents worried about receiving threatening letters if their ill child is kept off school, parents not being able to take kids on holiday without the risk of a fine, having to ask strangers if they agree with your child having a day off and risk being flamed. It's all so ridiculous.

Your dd, you know her best, if you feel she'll benefit from a lie in them go for it. I hope she's enjoying herself on her trip.

LucyBabs · 06/07/2015 02:45

I'm in Ireland and we don't have a fining system. If my dc are out of school for more than a day I must notify the school. If a child misses 20 days or more throughout the year the school will meet with parents and SS may be involved.
We have a very high attendance rate and children usually stay in school until 17.

How did the fining system come about in the UK? It seems over the top. Are there attendance inspections and school inspectors who call to children's homes in the UK?

roughtyping · 06/07/2015 07:50

Lucy just to clarify - we don't have fines in Scotland either. :)

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