To hate my birthday present?

[ungratefulfecker]

My mum asked me what I'd like, I said I'd quite like a piece of jewellery. I don't really have much jewellery and have wanted some nice bits for ages - annoyingly, no one has ever given me a piece of jewellery that I like - in retrospect, this should have been a warning sign. Past disasters have included a Pandora bracelet, which I also hate (too bling-y, a bit commercial).

She's got me a necklace, and I really, really don't like it. I feel bad for not liking it, but it's just not my style at all! It's all metal, despite me mentioning I'd like a bit of sparkle, and all sort of boxy pseudo New Age, with a twee message on the back. And it wasn't cheap, either.

I feel both disappointed and guilty at being disappointed. I know I am being U, but why do people keep giving me this kind of 'handmade' odd looking stuff?? I'm tempted to create a pinterest board and just email a link to people in the future.

I like the idea behind that collection (ie combining sculpture and jewellery) but I wouldn't wear any of it.

My DM is always taking back presents we've bought her so I know she'd be ok if I said I was taking something back but I have a DSIS who would be traumatised if I returned a gift. No idea where your DM is on that spectrum. Could someone else in the family subtly find out how emotionally invested your DM was in the purchase before you ask her to take it back?

i like some of the jewelery but not all, but also think its overpriced

I like the jewellery but it's overpriced.

YANBU or ungrateful. I spell out exactly what I want. DD called me a diva. But what's the point in people wasting money on a present that the recipient didn't like.

Was the message already on the piece or something your mum had engraved especially?

If the latter, there's probably no chance of returning it.

yanbu and I feel for you. I had a birthday recently and hated what was chosen for me. "d"h said that i am so difficult to buy for and people "end up getting me vouchers because I'm so awkward".

Whereas I think I am at the stage in my life where I don't have much any disposable cash so I covet all kinds of things!! And actually it's not unreasonable to want to choose myself the odd treat rather than have to cope with varying people's different tastes (particularly people like MIL who have no idea bout my taste!!)

If you have specific taste in jewellery, then don't ask others do buy it for you, because you probably won't like it.

When I was much younger my parents bought me something a bit similar to some of those and I really didn't like it but decided to thank them, wear it now and again then put it away. It is now many years later and I love it!

I would put this one down to experience rather than hurt her feelings and be more specific in future

Oh gosh! I now ask people their budget for my present and then tell them I have seen xyz but it's more expensive so would they mind giving me the money and I'll add to it to get something I really want!

I do have a troll bead bracket from my parents, went shopping with mum and was looking at beads for my best friend who loves her bracelet and saying I like this one and that one etc but meaning I liked it for her, not for me. I now have lots of beads and I love it as it is very sentimental to me, I have beads from children and friends and my deceased boyfriend so wear it all the time.

Jesus that stuffs horrid...YANBU

I really like the 'Last Hoop' pendant. I do have fairly silly taste in jewellery though, to be fair.

Yeah, it's awful.

When you say 'message' do you mean it's engraved? Would you be able to get a refund? Maybe you could sell it, if not.

"DH said that i am so difficult to buy for and people "end up getting me vouchers because I'm so awkward".

That's been said to me, and it prompts the reply:
"Then why don't you fucking well ask me what I would like?"

Glad I'm not being super U to dislike it then! I'm pretty sure the message is already on there - very twee generic type thing, so she should be able to take it back if she still has the receipt...

UPDATE: PIL have also got me earrings. ALSO hippy handmade, in 'distressed silver' (brown) and in the shape of leaves. Whyyyyyyyyyyy mumsnet?? What is it about me that screams 'new age clunky jewellery'??

I'll exchange them at the shop, though said jeweller is master of the 'unique' piece so I suspect there'll be feck all there. OH is giving me a little bit of the hump about it, but eh - I'd rather have something I actually like and PIL have given the receipt with them and their blessing so I know they'll be okay with me swapping them.

To all those who've pointed out IABU to not give specific direction - I feel you. Never again do I ask for anything so open ended without specifying. But I genuinely don't think I'm that picky - I'm just mystified. I like to think I dress relatively elegantly, with a hint of a gamine/quirky edge, so I gathered people would try to match that when picking stuff out.

Maybe they thought they had?

Seriously, jewellery is very difficult to get right.

Keep it! Just keep it.
My mother gave me a pendant/locket which was a bit gothic, it suited me in my early 20 as I was a bit of a goth but in a mass rationalisation when moving house in my late 30s I binned it.
Now she is gone, I regret that deeply. I wish I still had it, even if I never wore it.
Just keep it.

YABU, sorry. Jewellery is impossible to get right. Seriously, you could put two very similar pairs of earrings next to each other and one I might love and the other leave me cold.

I would bite the bullet and tell her it's not really your style and you don't want her to have spent so much and it sit in a drawer - you want more than anything for the necklace SHE gave you to be something that you genuinely love.

If you know she'd still be really hurt by that, you could say that one of the links broke so you took it back? - and that they didn't have another you liked so you got something else...?

I'm always getting presents I don't like. Unless I'm given gift cards I almost always don't like them. I give all my presents to Oxfam the day after I receive them. There's no point in hanging on to stuff you don't like.

Next year start an Amazon wish list - tis the end of all present pain!

Your jewelry is quite nice, I probably wouldn't wear it though.

I get you OP, but even peoples interpretation of 'elegant with a hint of quirk' will be different, she probably thought this was perfect! Don't blame you for not liking it

Hmmm... I clicked on the link ready to find lots if positives as I veer towards "clunky silver" jewellery. Erm....not my style either. Lovely ideas, just a bit cutesie perhaps?

Apart from Pandora beads- in proscribed colours of black, white, silver (small hints of pink allowed!)- no-one chooses jewellery for me as I am notoriously picky. DH knows that for me, half the joy is the hunting for each piece!

However, I do keep pieces bought for me. I'm currently wearing a necklace I wouldn't have chosen, just because a particular friend bought it.

Alan Ardiff jewellery is not niche...it's handmade designer jewellery. I don't work for them but the way you were describing it (before you posted the link to the stuff) I thought you were describing Pilgrim jewellery:
www.pilgrim.dk/shop/categories/necklaces/16133family11/c-24/c-40323/p-11590 and some of their pieces are very clunky in design.