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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why someone would be so vindictive

38 replies

Angeale · 04/07/2015 08:35

To give a reference which prevents the person from getting any paid employment because you didn't like them?

Horrible Angry

OP posts:
lljkk · 04/07/2015 09:13

Well did they pass their probationary period?

You can say negative things. If challenged you need to be able to document that any statements are truthful. This is easy enough in cases of formal dismissal.

With references it's always the unwritten things that speak volumes. Eg: someone's most recent employment was 2 yrs with a large diverse team, and no reference from them, but instead a reference from someone who supervised the person for 6 weeks in a temporary capacity and keeps saying "I don't know about their skills at xyz..."

lljkk · 04/07/2015 09:16

xpost... so is the phrasing something like
X worked us from A to B times. He failed to secure further employment with us after the probationary period."

Where I work we shortlist & interview before we see the references, usually have the references to hand during interview so we can ask about something like 'what does this mean?'

QuiteLikely5 · 04/07/2015 09:21

The person could always contact the new company and explain.

But I find it highly unlikely someone would say they didn't pass probationary period rather than there contract came to an end.

They are two different things.

Angeale · 04/07/2015 09:41

He isn't a teacher but I am. I have seen the reference; essentially they didn't keep him on after the probationary period because they disliked him. There was no issue with how he did his work.

OP posts:
lljkk · 04/07/2015 10:42

what's the precise wording?
does it say
we disliked him
his work was unsatisfactory
he was pants
?

DeeWe · 04/07/2015 11:24

Much more likely didn't pass the probabtion. If it was on references surely it would have come out before then.

But it's easier to say to others is it was someone elses fault.
Kindest thing you can do for them is to pretend you believe it and see if you can help them sort out in a tactful way what is going wrong in the probabtion period.

Sounds like someone I know who was going on about his new job that was absolutely perfect and he couldn't wait to start. He suddenly "decided" he was staying on because his old work would just miss him too much, they begged him to stay... I happen to know the person who got the job and no, they weren't second choice as they were offered on the spot.

firesidechat · 04/07/2015 11:28

As others have said, that sounds like fact and perfectly fine for a reference.

TiggieBoo · 04/07/2015 11:53

The thing is, not offering a contract after probation because you dislike someone is not necessarily vindictive. Team fit is important. No matter how good someone is at their job, if they are an obnoxious twit who alienates their colleagues and no one likes working with them then they are not a good fit and it's better to let them go sooner rather than later.

DarthVadersTailor · 04/07/2015 12:40

You have to be factual in a reference, but if a prospective employer picks up the phone then anything can be said over the phone and it's difficult to prove anything.

Try not to use them for a reference if possible.

PtolemysNeedle · 04/07/2015 12:57

That's not vindictive, that's being truthful. I find it odd that you think it's vindictive, which is quite a horrible thing to accuse someone of being.

hiddenhome · 04/07/2015 13:04

If he was a dislikeable person, then perhaps it's just the truth. I work with a couple of dislikeabke people and would hate to be in the position of having to give them a reference. I honestly don't know how I would phrase it.

Angeale · 04/07/2015 14:02

Hi and thanks for replies. To give some context his union agree the reference is unprofessional and that the action taken (not renewing his contract) was harsh and over the top.

OP posts:
firesidechat · 04/07/2015 17:59

But people fail their probation and don't have their contracts renewed all the time for all sorts of reasons. His union can think anything they like, but the example you have provided on here seems both reasonable and a simple statement of fact.

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