I'm 16 weeks pregnant (unplanned) and recently my OH left me as he doesn't want a baby. I have decided to decline a job in another city (where id be living with him) so I can stay at home with family and friends who can support me as emotionally I've been struggling to cope with my relationship breakdown.
Luckily, I have enough savings to support myself and my child, plus I've decided to live with my parents for a while as next September I'm starting training in a different career (don't want to go into too much detail).
Anyway, I've been doing casual work in my friends restaurant when some of the staff aren't in, just to get me out of the house and stop feeling sorry for myself.
I have applied for lots of jobs, and I'm still doing so so that I can get enough money as I can get together, although with my savings and the fact I'm living with parents (which is lovely of them) I'll be fine, but really I want to get a routine which is why I'm eager to work and I don't really like sitting around all the time. I've signed up for voluntary work at my maternity hospital too but there's only a limited number of hours I can do, so it doesn't get me out of the house as much as I'd like.
Anyway, I don't talk about my finances to friends because I find it to be quite personal, but today a friend of mine kept telling me to 'sign on' and claim JSA. Of course as I'm looking for a job I wouldn't mind doing that, but as my academic university year has only just ended I wouldn't have been able to as I was classed as a student. This friend isn't someone I'm particularly close to but they know about me being pregnant and now single as im quite open about the situation now. He then gave me the biggest lecture on how he doesn't want me to struggle financially and he's worried I won't cope. Of course it's caring and I appreciate him looking out for me, but i told him I was fine financially I'm all good. He then had a go at me for not going on the dole now but I told him I've got job interviews coming up so I'd rather wait and see if I got anywhere with those as one is with a family friends business and they'd love to help me out, so the interview isn't really anything to be nervous of iyswim.
I politely told this friend that he needn't worry, and I fully understand what I'm entitled to but he said he couldn't see why I was refusing it. I told him I never once said I would. But there's a highly likely chance that as of next week I'd be earning money so I'd rather wait and see. I don't have a problem claiming whatever I'm entitled to as it's there to help people and it's not like I sit on my bum all day.
After him going on and on being highly condescending I snapped and said that my financial situation isn't his concern and I find it rude that he's assuming that I'm going to struggle. He just seemed to be getting far too involved and what turned into something that seemed like he was looking out for me turned into him using it as an excuse to accuse me of not wanting extra money for my baby.
After telling him that I do know what I'm doing with my money and savings and it's not his concern he just basically said 'I don't agree with what you're doing but whatever'.
I didn't want to rise to it but someone who isn't that involved in your life discussing your financial situation just doesn't sit well with me. I think it's because at first I did politely tell him it wasn't any of his business and he needn't worry but he persisted.
I didn't go mad at him or anything but it's really been playing on my mind.
AIBU for being annoyed and thinking that because I'm going be a single mum it wasn't fair that he assumed I'd let myself struggle or that I was even going to struggle in the first place? My child comes first and if I thought I couldn't cope or afford to give them everything they need them I'd seek help but I know I can. I just can't believe I've had to explain myself really. Maybe it's just my hormones and me being stressed but it really wound me up. I think it's mainly the fact he could tell I didn't really want to talk about finances because like I said its personal.