Contacting birth mother

[Grandshiredoubles]

Husband was adopted at birth. Ten years ago he got in touch with an agency and got his records and also had a trace done on his birth mother.

He received her address and knows he has a half brother. However he decided not to proceed any further and made no contact

He has now been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, very aggressive but responds well to treatment if caught early enough. He thought that his half brother should be told so he can get himselfed checked out, and also any male children he may have

I googled his birth mothers name to check if we could find out her address was the same and her name came up as secretary for an organisation. Within five mins we had her email mobile number and some pics ( and omg the resemblance is amazing)

We sent a mail apologising for any shock etc just asking if she would confirm she is def his birth mother as we would like to pass on more detailed medical information.

I am 100% certain that it's her but he wants it confirmed before he sends detailed info.

He is not after contact and doesn't want to disrupt her life in any way or that of his half brother but feels the information needs to be passed on

Have we done the right thing?

I think what you've done is incredibly selfless and the best thing you could do. You've done what you believe is the proper thing to do, no one can fault you on that whether they agree or not.

I hope everything goes well for your husband.

Absolutely, you would be doing the correct thing.

The only thing that you may want to prefer yourself for is if they will want contact. I think you should 100% do it, just DH would need to prepare himself if they wanted contact if he definitely doesn't want it...