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Birthday demand

9 replies

humanstain · 01/07/2015 12:29

OK. I don't know if this is normal or what, but it doesn't sit well with me. To be clear, I'm not a big birthday person, so maybe it's just that I'm a big party pooper.

Just got a text from a male (not very close) friend to say it's his partner's birthday today and she'd appreciate a happy birthday text. I don't have this person's number saved in my phone as he has a new number and he didn't sign off, so I had to put 2 and 2 together to work out who it was. Not very close to his partner either, it's more DHs friends then mine.

She's recently had a baby, and will still don't know baby's name, so have been unable to send personalised card. Don't know if this is relevant, but thought I'd mention it. Got time to send out birthday pleas, but not let us know the name of their baby Confused

Nice thing to do for his partner? Grabby and entitled? She's probably embarrassed and would kick him if she knew he'd done it?

Looks like a text to his whole address book as DH got same thing. He replied, I think I'll leave it.

Who is BU?

OP posts:

Butteredparsnips · 01/07/2015 12:33

I wonder if there is a back story here that you don't know?
it could be anything from PND to the couple having a row this morning and the Husband trying to make up.
Whatever the reason I would have thought a Happy Birthday text would be a nice gesture.


WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 01/07/2015 12:34

He's being more than a little odd, but I can't see particularly unreasonable. His partner has just had a baby, perhaps she's not coping well, not feeling good (also explains lack of contact re names etc) and he's trying to cheer her up on her birthday by making her feel like people care about her enough to say happy birthday.

Whenever I read an OP like this I always wonder why you have to think of it in a)an immediately negative way and b) with such horrible words as "grabby and entitled"?
Text her, don't text her, but why so nasty about it?


Nettletheelf · 01/07/2015 12:35

Your friend.

I suspect he fancies himself as the organiser of a grand gesture or something. What is it with these people? It's as if they think that they live in Disneyland and everybody else has to play along.


Snowflakepie · 01/07/2015 12:38

Did you know it was her birthday? If not then I wouldn't necessarily send a text. However if she has recently had a baby maybe she's struggling, feeling a bit lost, her own special day being overlooked by the baby? And her OH is perhaps trying to make her feel a bit better, albeit in a roundabout sort of way.

I don't know. I would never send out a text like that, and if there is another issue it could have been better phrased. Something like 'A is feeling a bit low with the new baby and it's her birthday. A text would mean a lot, thanks'.

Up to you. If he's changed his number and anything is said in the future, you can always claim ignorance and wish a happy belated birthday.


QuiteLikely5 · 01/07/2015 12:43

It's downright strange and embarrassing to send a text like this!

If you hardly know the woman why on earth should you be sending her a card or even birthday texts for that matter!


humanstain · 01/07/2015 12:49

Well, he's even put her mobile number in the text, so we're not close enough to know each other's numbers. I wonder if she's happy for him to be giving out her number??

No, I didn't know it was her birthday.

OP posts:

NinkyNonkers · 01/07/2015 12:50

Grabby and entitled? Grabbing for what...a text message? Why the leap to assume the worst, I would assume that the partner thinks she needs a bit of a boost so is trying to rally the troops a little.


willconcern · 01/07/2015 13:00

Bit weird, but maybe she's finding it hard being a new mum, and he thinks she needs cheering up. Maybe she's worried that now she's had the baby, she won't get out much and all her friends will forget her.


DoJo · 01/07/2015 13:13

Possibly he's worried that with the attention so much on the new baby, his partner's birthday will be forgotten. Maybe they usually do something big on her birthday but won't be this year because of the baby, so he wants to make it special. Either way it is a request, not a demand, and if you don't want to do it then I'm sure everyone will survive.

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