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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I really hate when people use the word gender when they mean sex?

69 replies

RachaelC89 · 30/06/2015 22:34

Like when people are pregnant and say "oh I'm going for a gender scan" or "I know the gender" no you bloody well don't. A fetus has no gender, only a sex. Sex is your genitals. Gender is self identity.

I wish we had technology to tell which babies are trans because then we could raise them as the correct gender. It's been proven that trans people have brains of the opposite sex assigned at birth. We should also check babies chromosomes at birth even if they have binary genitals.

OP posts:
Original poster
RachaelC89 · 30/06/2015 22:52

Can you even have a late term abortion if there's nothing wrong with the baby?

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 30/06/2015 22:54

Do you believe that some people would not attempt to seek abortion if you insisted on 'trans testing'?

ThoseAwfulCurtains · 30/06/2015 22:54

I know.
It's really difficult living a life when so many other people are just sooooo stupid.
If only everyone were as clever as you OP, the world would be a much brighter, sunnier place.
I could weep for the hopelessness of it all.
sigh

ollieplimsoles · 30/06/2015 22:55

Amazing post Ada totally agree with you.

TiggieBoo · 30/06/2015 22:55

I'm yet to find myself in a real life situation where the correct use of the word matters a jot. Or to meet anyone who gives a damn. But hey ho, each one to their own.

ChuffinAda · 30/06/2015 22:55

To your mind there is nothing wrong with the baby but to some minds there Is a huge amount wrong with the baby and probably enough to convince a more conservative doctor or two to go along with a late term abortion.

As for binary genitals wtf.

MarchLikeAnAnt · 30/06/2015 22:57

How about we just raise children as people?

ChuffinAda · 30/06/2015 22:57

The whole gender fluid/binary thing really irritates. I've done psych 101 I get the whole gender and Sex being different things but it's all so try hard and hipster.

PurpleDaisies · 30/06/2015 22:58

Do you mean check the chromosomes of every baby or every baby without "binary genitals"? I have no idea what that means, but babies with ambiguous genetalia are often karyotyped to see if they are genetically male or female. Why on earth would you want to test the other babies?

DoJo · 30/06/2015 22:59

The OP suggested testing chromosomes at birth, not in the womb.

DoughDoe · 30/06/2015 23:00

ooh, a bollocks thread.

literally.

MagicalHamSandwich · 30/06/2015 23:00

YANBU. So not!

I think people use it because they feel uncomfortable with the word 'sex' and associate it exclusively with sexual intercourse. Still bugs the hell out of me when they do it, though.

To be fair, my first degree is in sociology so I may be somewhat biased here.

Oh and just for the record: 'sex' as in sexual intercourse is also not a dirty word!

ChuffinAda · 30/06/2015 23:00

Binary genitals to me conjures up childish images like

( 0 ) ( 0 )

GiddyOnZackHunt · 30/06/2015 23:01

People use words incorrectly all the time.This is your bugbear.I have different bugbears.
All children are different. You raise them the best you can.

DoJo · 30/06/2015 23:01

Woofsaidtheladybird

What term should be used instead of intersex? I had no idea it was no longer used, and don't want to offend anyone.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 30/06/2015 23:02

Chuffin : ) 11 or 010 presumably

crustsaway · 30/06/2015 23:03

They are "words", don't get so het up about it Grin

sanfairyanne · 30/06/2015 23:04

i also get a bit annoyed at the misuse of gender to describe biology, but i disagree that gender is self identity. gender is a social construct imposed on us from birth onwards. i dont agree with most gender stereotypes or find them useful for my self identity at all. finally, brains are moulded by life and our experiences. there is no such thing as a gendered brain at birth.

Woofsaidtheladybird · 30/06/2015 23:07

DoJo

Intersex disorders are now known as Disorders of Sex Development. It encompasses a whole range of minor to major causes of a variety of ambiguous genitalia for all sorts of reasons . Smile

So, I'm still confused about this 'binary genitals' thing... I've never heard of that expression

TerryTheGreenHorse · 30/06/2015 23:07

Do you know what I hate, seeing some poor excited sod posting in the pregnancy forum about finding out the gender of a baby when it's perfectly plain they mean sex and someone rubbing their hands with glee to be the first to go on the thread and put them straight.

I am trying and failing to see the bloody great big deal here, I really am.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 30/06/2015 23:08

It's been proven that trans people have brains of the opposite sex assigned at birth.

No, it hasn't.

Yes, it's annoying when people use 'gender' and should be using 'sex', but I agree with others that gender is a social construct, so you won't be able to identify it in a baby, which has not been socialised.

Talking about 'male brains' or 'female brains' is reinforcing a binary that is dangerous and reductive for all of us.

crustsaway · 30/06/2015 23:17

Gender until born is the same damn thing as saying the sex. Stop being ridiculous. Its allowed, its a bloody word.

DoJo · 30/06/2015 23:18

Woofsaidtheladybird

I thought the term 'intersex' was the one chosen for use by those who have ambiguous genitals because they did not like the use of the word 'disorder' to describe their condition? That certainly seems to be the preference of the UKIA, but I admit that my experience of the practical use of associated terminology isn't based on a huge amount of experience.

sanfairyanne · 30/06/2015 23:18

although i am keen to explore further the idea of scanning all brains at birth to see who will be good at cooking/cleaning/like high heels and sequins and putting them in one group, and another group for those who will like lego, football and map reading. we could have lots more, new, categories too: one for those who will like cycling, lycra and hot pants for instance. could be fun.

grumpysquash · 30/06/2015 23:24

There would be no point in testing chromosomes at birth. Mostly they would look normal. But that doesn't mean that an individual doesn't have a tiny genetic change below the resolution of the test, that could affect sexual differentiation (meaning of the brain and also of the genitals). Testing would be outrageously expensive and wouldn't lead to an improvement in health care. Also there would be a reasonable number of people found to have chromosomal abnormalities but who are normal and healthy, and who anyway can't be treated since chromosomes can't be repaired in a person.
OP, what do you think it would achieve (interested, not arguing)?