to ask which is better - nursery keeping your routine or imposing their own?

[joanneg20]

Interested in views on this, especially from any nursery staff.

My second child is currently in the baby room at nursery. Older child is now at school but went to a different nursery back in the day. In nursery number 1, they imposed their routine from the day he arrived there. So although it took a while of settling, essentially all the babies in the room were on roughly the same routine in terms of when they slept. In nursery number 2 (current nursery) they keep the parents' routine, hence all the babies are napping at different times. Though all eat at the same time.

Must admit I am struggling with this second model. I can see that parents who are precious about keeping their own routines probably like this system initially, but it leads to all sorts of annoyances for me - e.g. often when DS2 gets picked up (around 3pm) they haven't managed to take him outside all day, because they took some of the others out when he was napping. They frequently haven't quite managed to give him his milk by the time I pick him up and then I'm rushing to get his milk down him there before I pick DS1 from school. Sometimes he's even still asleep because they put him down late and then I have to wake him up quickly and rush him out.

Essentially I like the nursery and all the staff are lovely and DS2 seems happy, so I can't face making a fuss about it, but it does strike me as a badly organised system that is always going to cause problems. Any thoughts?

I would think all the kids in the same routine is a better use of time & resources.

On paper having the more freestyle approach is enticing, I can see why you would choose it.

I have only known type 1 & your observations are probably why type 2 isn't offered more.

Yes, I think your experience shows why most nurseries do 1! 2 sounds good in theory but problematic in practice.

I think the first nursery works best. The second one clearly proves that it's not an advantage to some children. I wouldn't be happy with nursery 2 approach.

We've just been visiting nurseries for DS and all of them said that they follow the parents' routine. I don't think any even mentioned having their own routine! It might be different in the older rooms though.

My ds naps around 9/10am at home. He naps for a couple of hours. At nursery they don't seem to put them down until after lunch. He naps for 20 minutes. I have told them about his earlier naps at home - I'm not sure if he just won't go down or if they're sticking to their own routine.

Our nursery kind of takes a joint approach .Children up to a year old are started in their own routine, with a separate sleep room for naps. They tend to naturally move towards the more structured routine as they get older, but are never "forced to fit". After they are a year (ish) and move to the toddler room, they have their nap on cots in the room so all have the same routine. This has worked well with my two, allowing them to settle in at their pace.

DDs nursery did their own routine, which was similar to ours at home so it was great.

Ds' nursery followed a general routine, but if a kid wanted to nap they let them nap. DS often fell asleep playing and they picked him up into the sleeping room. This suited us as DS never liked to be put down for a nap, never looked tired. Just would fall asleep at random times. he did this at home too.

Both suited both of my kids so it was great

Personally would prefer the second, don't like kids doing things rigidly like a factory...

Thanks all. So sounds like different nurseries have different approaches. I can see that you can't keep 12 babies on the same rigid routine but I do think you can gently guide them. The room does constantly seem to be in slight chaos, in the nicest possible way, and I'm sure this is why.

When I first started working in Day Nurseries maternity leave was very short and most babies came to nursery from 6 weeks, 12 at the latest. It was much easier to get them into a nursery routine.
Now maternity leave is much longer it's rare to get a very young baby, most are 6 months if not older so are a bit more set in their ways. Most of the nurseries I know start off with a home routine and gently move on to nursery routine as they move through to the toddler rooms.
What I dislike is when they enforce things like removing dummies for naps etc.

I was happy for the nusery to have their own routine.

It didn't cause us any problems and the kids were fine.

Going outside should be doable everyday! What time are you dropping him off? Babies do settle into nursery routines though these are just based around when meals arrive. It's hard for babies to sleep at different times if lots of other activities at the same time so easier try get most off.
Bottle feeding at a set time should be easy , unless he's having a late lunch and not full up when they offer it at 230. Think it's fair for him to be offered then so you are not rushing later. If your happy apart from these things a quick chat might help them get more organised

The nursery both of ours went to would accommodate the baby's routine as much as possible - a tired child is a grumpy child who gets nothing out of nursery. However, as with the experience of a couple of previous posters, the children's routine evolved to match the nursery's routine for the older rooms. I agree that you can't have umpteen different routines indefinitely, but a gradual change is probably better.

Following a parent's routine shouldn't be a problem providing the nursery staff are well organised. It shouldn't be a case of a child frequantly missing out on going outside or bot having a bottle/snack/meal.

I've worked in nurseries that did both and much perfured the nursery where I was expected to follow parent's routies. I stayed there for 8 years untill dd was born. I ran the baby room for almost 2 years in that time and honestly say I got children outside everyday, offered bottles on time (weren't always taken but always offered). At one point it I was the lead practitioner for 11 babies instructing 4 other members of staff. I'd have half an hour each day to get things ready for my charges; organise a bottle time table, when snacks need to be prepared, what cots we'd need when, toys we'd need for the day and cleaning of them am and pm, who was going outside when and when staff were having breaks and if we'd need relief to do so.

Not all staff are naturally suited to working that way. One of the biggest reasons the nursery I worked in had one key worker for each age range instead of splitting children between all adults in the setting. You need time to be prepeared, we had three quaters of an hour a day where the nursery was completely child free, allowing for paper work, planning, cleaning and getting things ready in advance. We had written evidence trails in all the room and had handover notes that were an instruction manual for the room and children in it in case of emergancies and illness. You had lots of training before you became key worker and ongoing support from the manager. We also had detailed care plans made with parents before children started, which would take a couple of hours to make, which were sent home for review as offten as needed. When given enough time, training and support it's a fantastic system.

The niggles you have, is something we'd hope you'd say something about. If you need him awake for pick up ask them to make sure he is. The system will only work if you tell them what does and doesn't work for you.

While sure not all nuseries that addopt the first systems are like the few I experienced. I found the children were shown less repect, moved around the suit staff numbers rather than for their benfit, adult needs were prioritised over children's and that the environtment was generally more stressful for staff and children with more crying. I was certainly best suited to the second way of working.

Depends on the age of the child. I wouldn't be happy for a baby (under 1) to be forced into a routine, I want them to eat and sleep on demand. Toddlers on the other hand benefit from structure and I think practically it makes more sense to ease them gently into a nursery routine.

The nursery my daughter attends does baby lead til about 14 months then more structure. It isn't really working for her now she is 18 months and causes much stress with a tired girl not wanting to go to bed late and then get up late. Different approach works for different kids

Dobby - that's really interesting and helpful, thank you. Sounds like I should be more assertive about what I need doing and what his routine is. I just never want to be 'that parent' making a fuss about small things.

Don't worry about making a fuss. As I said the nursery routine will only work if it works in patnership with you. If saying something directly makes you feel like you're causing a fuss, try writting a friendly note detailing what ds's routine at home incase anything's changed they might not be awear of.

That way you could add little notes about to address tje niggles that are making the rush between the two pick ups stressful. Please wake ds before pick up, I don't mind if it makes him grumpy for me, I have to get to school. Can ds be offered his bottle between x and x, he needs to have it if his hungry before I pick up from school. Also putting in when you'd normaly be out for a walk, be in the garden, visit the park, might prompt them to consider when he goes out side. They have written request to refure to instead of having to note it down or try to remeber it.

For what it's worth, in 8 years I only encountered 2 parents that were that parent. Both cases were where we were expected to be mind readers and the goal posts were constantly changing without us being informed.

The nursery my DTD's go to are baby/child led with routine until they are 2. Both the babies and young toddlers have their own separate sleep rooms and it never seems to have caused any problems for my two or from what I can see the other children in the room. If they are asleep at lunch / snack time food is kept back for them when they wake. They go into the garden at least once a day and can ask to go out whenever they want.